Miserable. If I gain the weight back, will this skin go away?

I had RNY in 2009 and am down to 160 from 297. Its my birthday. I'm alone. I had an ex tell me last week that he couldn't get back with me because he's not physically attracted to me...and can't we just be friends? No we can't. I've gone through transfer addiction. Gastric bypass was the worst decision I ever made. I can't afford plastics and never will be able to. My arms hang, my thighs sag so I can't wear shorts, my stomach has a panniculus, my boobs are saggy and flat.  I have no butt.  I have chicken fat under my face. I want my old body back. At least my face was pretty then.  If I gain this weight back will the loose skin go with it? I'm dead serious. Please no rah rah cheerleading crap because I'm not feeling that right now.  I just want an answer to the question in my subject line.  Thanks.

I can't answer your question specifically - I don't think the skin will "go away" but that's just a guess on my part.

But with regard to your flabby stomach and saggy boobs - would you qualify for "corrective" plastic surgery.  I'm sure I'll qualify because even now I have sweating/rashes/odor in those areas due to "skin on skin".  It generally qualifies you.  My insurance won't do it until 18 months post-op, and six months of medical documentation.  Just a thought.

Hope things work for you.

Some insurance policies don't even cover a panniculectomy when there are rash issues.

That's very true - insurance coverage varies greatly.  Luckily, mine does cover a panniculectomy.

My experience with regain, and believe me I have a lot including post WLS number one, is that unfortunately when the weight is gained the body sags even worse.  Maybe it was me but my body was never one of those solid, curvy big girl bodies.  It was lumpy, saggy and dimpled.  Cellulite city.  Weight loss really didn't make a big improvement.  Age is even unkinder.  

I have seen some really good bodies that were obese.  On my best day it wasn't mine.  Unless I shell out some serious money my body will never been display worthy.  Oh well.

If your ex isn't attracted to you, he isn't attracted to you.  I remember, after my first WLS, when my body (and looks) were probably as good as they ever would be, a guy I was madly in love with told me he just wasn't attracted to me.  I was devastated.  I had done everything in my power to be as attractive as it was possible and I still wasn't good enough.  At least when I was fat I could blame it on that.  I had plenty of guys tell me that they would have been interested in me if I wasn't so big.  At least I had some kind of hope and control.  It was in my power to lose weight and make everything better but when I had lost the weight and I still wasn't attractive I was out of options.

I can't fault the guy for telling me he wasn't attracted to me.  Attraction is subjective.  I've been wildly attracted to men that my friends thought were, well, less then attractive.  There is chemistry or there isn't and when there is it is great.  And if it isn't there it can't be faked.  Maybe the guy could have been more sensitive or thoughtful or maybe he was trying to intentionally hurt you.  I have no idea.

If you were happier being heavy then it is always out there.  Regain isn't that difficult if that is what you want.  Something tells me that wouldn't make you happy, either.  Because, like they say, happiness is an inside job.  I am in my 50s now.  Thin but probably less attractive then I have ever been even at my fattest.  My face is gaunt and thanks to years of smoking, prematurely aged, at least I think it is premature.  For someone who tried to get by on my looks as much as I could it has been a rude awakening.  But you know what?  I am healthier then I have been in years and probably as happy as I've ever been.  I can't think of one thing in my life that would change in a positive way if I were more attractive.  I have a healthy family, a job I enjoy and people I care about.  And none of it would change if I gained weight or lost weight or had plastic surgery or anything else, well except I am sure my health would go down the toilet again if I had a big gain.  

I have suffered from depression all my life and I have always lived with the feeling that if only...if only I lost weight, if only I had money, if only I had a good job, if only I lived in a better place, if only...my life would be great.  And I did those things and my life didn't get great.  I was still depressed and I still blamed it on outside things.  Then I figured out something.  The best way for me to stop being depressed is to help someone else not be depressed.  I realized that the more I thought about myself the unhappier I was and the more I thought about others and helping them the happier I became.  

I am sorry you are having such a difficult birthday.  I really hope things get better for you and you find what it is you are looking for.

Ladytazz, I love your posts. You always have thoughtful responses with a lot of wisdom in them.

  Thanks, that is so nice of you.  And it made me happy to think I could have been helpful to someone, lol.

LadyTazz that was an amazing message, I am the same way. I want this surgery not to be happy with a man but to be happy with my children; I want to move more go more places...I have never had a problem with men, I guess because I live in the South and they love bigg women, but when you take your child to school and the other kids pick on them because their mommy is fat that hurt way more than being alone... I am praying that I am able to have RNY...

Ladytazz, you just wrote how I feel!