Recently Lost a Best Friend Because of My Decision to Get Bariatric Surgery

I totally commend you for posting that, it truly shows how hurt she made you feel. Please understand that SHE is the one with the ED and she is jealous that you have decided to take the "HEALTHY" road, not the horrific road she once took, ( and is still probably on). Keep your head held high, and just know that you made the right choice for YOU... not for Her or anyone else. I wish you the absolute best in your new life! And that is how I feel for my new self. I have my surgery this Thursday and I am so excited. I am actually making a new bucket list of things I want to do. 

Good Luck to you!!

First of all, congrats on your decision to get WLS.  Secondly, your friend isn't a very good friend if she wants you to remain unhealthy.  Last, but certainly not least, weight loss surgery isn't cosmetic surgery, it's bariatric surgery and can be considered an elective surgery, but it's not in the same category as cosmetic surgery also known as plastic surgery.  Weight loss surgery helps you eat less and get full sooner.  Cosmetic surgery includes breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.  Personally, I don't see anything wrong with some cosmetic surgery either though, as long as you don't go to the extreme as the Barbie girl from Russia, but even then that's her business.

I'm sorry but your "so called friend", is no such thing.  Or if she is, she has very poor judgement, and you are better off without that kind of friend.

Move forward, and regain your health and vitality!!!!!

I'm shaking with rage reading this. This is not a friend anyone needs. I'm all for the "loving the skin you're in" and "accepting you for you" and stuff, but this is kind of ridiculous. The right answer would have been "It's not for me, and I personally don't agree, but you gotta do what you gotta do". Not this. This woman seems to be very much out for her own agenda. She likes the "fat acceptance", and wants as many people gathered around her as possible.

I'm pre-op, and luckily have the support of my family and friends going into preparations for the surgery. If anyone had come at me like this, I don't know if I'd have been able to contain myself.

Thank you for sharing this.

My reaction to her writing was more sadness and depression than anger.  I feel like she is uneducated about WLS and is ignorant in thinking morbid obesity can be healthy.  

This person is not a true friend... and sometimes with WLS you DO lose some friends because some people just can't stand the thought of losing control.

Bottom line: How dare she.

Hiya 

I had sleeve surgery 10 months ago, without a doubt the best thing I have ever done but certainly not the easiest. I found myself googling bariatric +betrayal trying make sense of my own situation with a group of friends recently and saw your post. I am new to this and have never contributed on any forum of any sort before but felt compelled to sign up after reading your post to offer my heartfelt support.

I know just how you feel... I worked out early on that I would not have the support of my friends so chose not to tell them. But the more weight I loose the more they gossip about it, it's been quite vicious.  It's hurtful and I feel betrayed, belittled and frankly blind sided but the callus treatment I've received. I tell you this because I want you to know you are not alone.

My heart broke reading your post. Your friends' actions are cruel and misguided but the good news is that it has more to do with her than it does with you and your journey. The WLS path is not easy, I found this aspect of it very confronting not to mention the physical & lifestyle changes but nothing will change unless you do. And man is it worth it... As the pounds come off your confidence and joie de vivre will flood back throwing a different light things.

Amazingly shop assistants acknowledge my existence now, that is weird. People I have never met strike up conversations with me. I'm taken more seriously at work. I get chatted up ****asionally :-)) I go new places and I try new things. I don't know if it is my approach or their perceptions that have changed, probably a bit of both but you have all this ahead of you...  Old friends are valuable but this is definitely a transformation process that is more than how you look and you may find that just like your old jeans and habits some people just don't fit anymore. There are better jeans out there and way better mates than that nasty piece of work.

Also this is a big change and serious surgery so my advice would be to be kind to yourself, limit this person and anyone else who is trying to bring you down. After all it is your body, your surgery and your decision and no one is in a better position than you to determine what is the right move for you. So take solace in the people who truly love and support you because you will need it and, more to the point, you deserve it.

Good luck. And knock 'em dead!

p.s. I don't know what I am going to do about my friends but I feel better having read your story and messages of support you have received so thanks for sharing.

I just had a enormous fight with my best friend of 15 years yesterday over that same thing. Personally, I waited for about 4 months before I told her about my surgery that should tell you something.  She is on a path of weight loss also by dieting and exercising,  which I think is wonderful I always tell her she looks amazing and I am proud of her. One day she is ok the next she isn't.  Well yesterday it came to a head an things got ugly.  I am still not quite sure what the issue is from her stand point, I aassuming it is jealousy,  which disgusts me. We have been through so much together for her to feel that way is ok, but talk to me about it first... so I have to admit she is a toxic person anyway and I have been friends with her so long, just been loyal well I am guessing our time has ran out. I refuse to say sorry for getting healthy.  I mean it has been three weeks since my surgery.  I haven't changed that much sheesh. You know what I know it hurts , but your friend had a lot say she should of talked to you. Maybe we are both better of.  Way to go on making you better. Toxic is something you don't need, remember you are detoxing from everything right now. Make it a habit ..do not be sorry I am not.