Recently Lost a Best Friend Because of My Decision to Get Bariatric Surgery

since your "friend" chose to write about you on a public blog, I would be more than happy to respond to her on her blog.  Please post the public blog she wrote on.  I think she needs to hear from your real support group.  

People like this should not get away with bullying people in public like she just did.  This is bullying, plain and simple by a self-absorbed self-centered, "non-friend".  She was your friend as long as you were like her unhappy.  How dare you try to get help and  make a healthy decision.  Yes, you will face big decisions, and yes sometime it goes awry.  But it is your decision to make.  Good luck!

Her public blog is called Fat Girl Posing, and it's on Blogspot.  She has her comments on moderation, however.  So you can post a comment, but she won't approve it if it doesn't agree with her viewpoints.    

fatgirlposing *dot* blogspot *dot* com *slash* 2014 *slash* 05 *slash* casualties *dot* html

Replace the *dot* with .

Replace the *slash* with /  

Seriously, you said she is:

On May 26, 2014 at 12:32 PM Pacific Time, Sharon C. wrote:

Yes, she has bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and more.  She is on medication.

And you are directing people to the blog of a mentally ill person for what reason exactly???  Are you hoping to get some satisfaction if people jump all over her for obviously being mentally ill?

Seriously, count your blessings, be grateful you are getting the surgery you want when so many people can't and go out and get some mentally healthy friends who can and will be supportive of well thought out choices.  It will be a much better use of your time than directing traffic to the blog of someone who is suffering from some serious mental illnesses. 

Calm down.  Sharon didn't post this and ask anyone to go post.  She simply posted it in reply to a request from the individual above.  In fact, Sharon warned that there probably wasn't any point in posting because it would probably never show up in public because of the moderation.  She wasn't "directing" any of us to go there.

She gives pretty good directions for someone who isn't "directing" anyone to go there.  If she didn't want anyone to go there, she wouldn't have named the blog, made sure everyone could find it and made their posting policy clear.  A simple "it's not important" would have sufficed.

Question:   I would be more than happy to respond to her on her blog.  Please post the public blog she wrote on.  I think she needs to hear from your real support group.  

Response:  Her public blog is called Fat Girl Posing, and it's on Blogspot. 

She has her comments on moderation, however.  So you can post a comment, but she won't approve it if it doesn't agree with her viewpoints.    

fatgirlposing *dot* blogspot *dot* com *slash* 2014 *slash* 05 *slash* casualties *dot* html

Replace the *dot* with .

Replace the *slash* with /  

I would say posting a few lines of very specific directions of how to get her that specific blog in response to "I think she needs to hear from your real support group." while making it clear that the comments WILL be read by her friend because the board is moderated.   

The comments appearing publicly isn't the point.  Her intent in making sure people could find the blog easily is pretty clear.  Posting the exact blog hoping people will do a pile-on on a mentally ill person knowing that the person will see the comments and read them is pretty shocking.    

I'm perfectly calm, but thank you for your concern. 

People want to post things publicly, let them stand by it.  Period.  

Yes, I was the one who asked for the information.  It wasn't her fault.  

This is just so uncaring and hurtful of her towards you would she berate you if you were pregnant and tell you the risks and dangers and very small percentage of people that die to give birth, or would she disown if you had heart failure would she be supportive if you you needed surgery for a new heart or if you developed diabetes and one of your kidneys failed would she turn away from you for that? I know these are all hypothetical questions but your "friend," sounds misinformed and jealous. This is a preventative life saving treatment diabetes runs in my family and my vsg and diet that goes along w/ it nearly assures me that I won't get diabetes later in life unless I abuse my wls tool and start continuously eating throughout the day. This is not lipo suction or a face lift, and you are not negative or hurting anyone else in choosing this path. You have researched WLS and after many months will soon partake in the surgery for it. Good for you! I don't know you but I am proud of you for taking charge of your life how you see fit. It is your life you have to live not hers. I hope others on this message board give you the same positive feedback you deserve because what you don't deserve is someone taking your personal woes and not only making it their business but splashing it all over their blog etc... in such a negative fashion.  

I'm impressed at your so-called friends ability to make your decision all about her.  Wow, talk about self-centered.

As for being "fat accepting", she doesn't get it.  It's not about shaming people for not wanting to be fat as that is just flip side of fat-shaming.  It's about supporting the choices people make at any size.  I love myself as I am, right now.  I love my life so much that I want it to last as long as possible, hence my decision to have the surgery in June 2014.  I will never be okay with fat-shaming and fat-discrimination but I don't need to stay fat to hold those beliefs.  Your friend is just flat out confused.  And pretty darn angry.  I know ending a friendship hurts, but I think you're better off without this friend.

Best of luck to you.

Your former friend reminds me of most of the ladies from a recent documentary called All Of Me.  It was on PBS and followed a group of women from a Fat Acceptance group in Texas (it said Austin but I believe several of  the members lived in San Antonio and Houston).  

Anyways, at the start of the film it's a group of very large woman who get together frequently, have parties, clothing exchange etc.  Lots of fun.  They appear close and all very happy.  But then as time progresses you notice that more and more of them are starting to get WLS.  The film focuses on three women in particular.  One who doesn't have WLS but desperately wants it (She then went on to star in an episode of My 600 Pound Life).  And two who do.  One of which is fairly successful in making several lifestyle and mindset changes and one who, well isn't.  She struggles but just doesn't do as well. 

Either way, it's a prime example of showing the struggled obese people have, WLS patients go through and the fallout that can come with massive weight loss.  At one point one of the ladies mentioned that the group has sort of fallen apart-and that it appeared that food and fat was what was keeping them together not friendship.

You really should check it out, it was available on PBS's website for a while last month, not sure if it's still there or not.  But it's a neat example of how your life may, and may not change after WLS. 

It's hard to deal with people in your life who aren't supportive and will write you off so quickly. Keep your chin up, if you play your cards right your life is about to change in so many ways, you won't recognize it!!