I'm living After Wls (not the best way)

Oh, wanted to address the issue of the "get counseling" response - i realize your emotional responses are valid & understandable, not irrational.  Plus you don't have difficulty not acting on desire.  Like you pointed out, your questioning your desire to help others is unlike the old you. 

I might suggest that you think about how you might express this caring in a truly socially apropos manner so you no longer need to be silently hurting for others.  You might live in or near where there's a smaller community newspaper that would be delighted to publish articles about diet & /or wls, about extending life while maintaining quality of life.

Or many monthly meeting organizations welcome having the occasional speaker for their programs.  I'm sure you could think of many ways, even online, of expressing your drive that can benefit others. 

Anxiety - anxiety can sometimes have no discernable specific focus, no 'reason for being' - called free-floating or generalized anxiety.  Certainly triggers could cause an extra surge, but was certainly not necessary to keep my blood pressure surging.   

I've had tons of therapy, even analysis, and while I'm fully 'shrunk", my re-emergence of my free-floating anxiety 9 years ago has absolutely no regard for the shrinking profession.   Thanks to my cardiologist for putting me on the blood pressure medication absolutely made for my needs.   It's wonderful to have my unassaulted mind back.  Finally. 

Thank you so much for your post.  Had my RNY in 2009 and needed to be reminded of all these same thoughts.  Hope it helps others in their journey.

Take care of yourself.  Everyday is a challenge and it's easy to forget my plan.  We moved in December about 2 weeks prior to Christmas and made excuses to myself about why had to resort to eating whatever was available.  Am back on track. 

Nancy