I'm living After Wls (not the best way)

Maybe there is a community somewhere filled with people who meet your approval, whom you won't feel the need to judge. But I doubt it.

I bet you would have absolutely loved it if, before your surgery, a thinner person got in your face and screamed at you for your "bad decisions."

I would probably say that while you have done amazing work on the physicality, emotionally you have fallen behind. I agree that therapy would be very beneficial. 

I don't think your struggle is with compassion as much as it's the complete and utter lack of empathy. Maybe part of you is so ugly towards fat people because you hated yourself fat and that's all you can see now. I don't know. Your reasons are your own and none of my business But hey you posted on a public forum so here it goes. I think it's kind of sad to see someone who could offer so much to help people but instead turn so bitter toward them. You are not the same as them. You had surgery and they didn't. Shaming/bullying someone to lose weight is pretty much successful NEVER.

Love them through it all. God knows you had or at least I hope you had people who showed you love and could look at you beyond the fat you carried way back when you were one of those stupid fat people you see now.

Peace.

For crying out loud.

It's good you don't hand out you surgeon's business card or tell folks about  the WLS (you think) is needed to give them a better life. 

Has it ever occurred to you that the people you have been judging may have already had the surgery and are in the weight loss process?  Or even though having not had the surgery, have already lost a considerable amount of weight on their own but still have a ways to go?

I lost over 100lbs on my own, pre-op, and I was still in the morbidly obese category according to my BMI.  I distinctly remember two "well-intentioned" ladies who (on seperate occasions) felt the need to not only tell me I was unhealthy, but also to prescribe their way of dieting.  I didn't go around wearing a sign that said "Look, I've already lost 100lbs, I'm doing great, please don't bless me with your opinion based upon how you think I look at the moment" but I sure felt like it sometimes.

You can't judge a book by it's cover.  Even if you're an ultra successful WLS patient who holds herself up as an example to all of us of what we should be.  And even if you could *accurately* judge, guess what?  It's absolutely none of your business. 

Sounds like your kids are adults, so even they don't need the benefit of your attitude.  As a previous poster said, you're the one who taught them to eat like that.  So if you want to blame and shame I strongly suggest looking in the mirror and keeping your mouth shut otherwise.

I know this sounds like I'm grouchy, but I'm not.  What I am is mad.  Why do we turn on each other just because we  were fortunate enough to have the surgery that others can't have, whatever their reasoning is?  Or because someone has had the surgery but regained? It seems like I've seen a lot of this lately and it's just not right.  God forbid you gain a substantial amount of your weight back and end up on the receiving end of your own "wisdom".

sheesh.

I once had a lady who was addicted to cocaine tell me to start using cocaine to help me lose weight seeing how I was so obese. I was at a loss for words....

It's almost like being a former smoker. 

I watch my son and daughter struggle with their weight too, but for me, I ache for them and feel ashamed for me not having taught them better eating habits in the first dang place!  I do the best I can to forgive myself - I didn't know then what I know now and I did the best I knew how.  Still, I wish they didn't have to struggle with being obese.

I"m sorry that you regret having had WLS.  Why is this - because of the way you feel about others now or something else?  Just curious, not judging.

Take care of you and be happy.

LeAnne

I'm not a mean person that's why I keep my mouth shut in public. had to chuckle about the "my kids learned their eating habits when I was obese." comment. I actually started juicing when my kids were still young they were eating healthier while still being raised with me.They could tell you how they hated eating beans and rice all the time and carrot and apple juicing every day.

I just could not get my portion size under control before wls.

What you don't realized is that the food your were feeding them and still most likely try to eat yourself caused more problems than good. Carbs, carbs and more carbs., no wonder you still get heart attacks, if you still follow similar diet.  Considering sub to be a healthy choice because you added little veggies to it is really very, very old school. 

Do you think your children seeing you so unhealthy - with multiple heart asttacts - should consider your diet and way of life ? You must be jocking.

The theory that eating natural fat causes heart problem and obesity is so old and so wrong.  

You may need to read on that. 

Eating sausage and bacon, and coconut keeps my cholesterol low to very low. Adding carbs makes it higher.  

Do yourself a favor - read on carbs and sugars and excessive insulin that can cause a lot of damage to our orgasns. 

Both my kids are in relationships that turned them back to unhealthy eating habits, I don't plan on being with my son when he goes grocery shopping nay more, it hurts to see those grocery carts full of unhealthy foods. What I don't understand is they both know what I have been through with all my heart issues and they both still haven't stepped up and started to do something with their weight issues..

 I have regretted wls, I have anxiety real bad,I refuse to take meds for it, I have seen many people post op that start anxiety meds and regain weight back. I believe this is why things bother me way too easy and now more so, after my last 3 heart attacks..I have diabetes. I get cold real easy I get hot very easy. .the older I get the harder it is..this surgery reminds me of my pregnancies I terminated years ago..

You get rid of 1 problem only to start another.I have lost weight , yes, but I still can't do many things after weight loss.because of my heart issues. I know most of you have a different outlook after your weight loss, and I am happy for you.thought I was going to get off of diabetes meds, and sleep apnea, and get off high blood pressure meds after weight loss well I am not!. I'm now on an additional new med for my heart called Plavix and have to stay on it for the rest of my life. with awful side effects.I've received a few private messages in O H that have told me they regret having wls too from others that post here in the main message board. How is it that I get my heart arteries clogged with too much calcium after weight loss. I could go on and on about my regrets but I won't.  I am still alive after all this so I will do my best to keep the weight off

You. Need. Help.