Bias Among Us (Part 1) - Success?

This blog topic is LONG overdue, and actually I have so much to say on the topic I feel the need to make it a series of posts. A couple months  ago I wrote about the fat shaming I’ve experienced from strangers, however even more troubling is the weight bias I have experienced within the weight loss surgery community. Let me reiterate I’m not calling any person biased, I’m labeling the actions and comments as biased. I know intentions are often to “help others” but as the person on the receiving end of the comments and actions, I feel it’s my duty to let you know they hurt far more often than help.

The picture of SUCCESS!

Last month I attended the ObesityHelp #OH2013 Conference in Anaheim, CA, I was a member of the event staff and as so I posted this picture to the ObesityHelp Facebook wall in order to promote the evening’s event. Under the picture I posted “Sarahlicious is warming up the Red Carpet! Are you ready to celebrate your success?” The theme of that evening’s party was “Celebrate Your Success”, I never actually called myself a success, I asked if others were ready to celebrate THEIR SUCCESS. A fellow WLS (weight loss surgery) patient commented on my picture with “success????????????????????????”.

This picture represents MY SUCCESS in several ways. “What? How? You’re still fat????”

• I am a success because I am alive after surviving a deep vein thrombosis, mini-stroke, and patent foraman ovale (hole in my heart).
• I am a success because I have maintained 100lbs weight loss for 10 years, was it more, sure…did I regain, yes! But 100lbs loss is still a success in my book!
• I am a success because I have completed two bachelor degrees and I’m pursing my Masters in Health Law.
• I am a success because I no longer have sleep apnea or high blood pressure, all other health vital are and have been normal.
• I am a success because I love myself, and others love me for who I am.
• I am a success because I share my story to advocate for and help others.
• I am a success because I stand up against weight stigma and bias.
• I am a success because I am winning the battle against disfiguring lymphedema and lipedema.

Success is a personal accomplishment, and since pictures are more powerful than words…

However, I should not have to list my accomplishments or pull out my phone to show others pictures to PROVE I am a success. As a community we need to stop judging ourselves and others based on the scale.

We need to stop judging, PERIOD.

Amen>I hate the way people treat others.Thinking they are better.I understand how the comments can hurt.Some have been in our shoes.That's what makes me sad.

I 100% agree!

I read your story a couple months ago or so, and I was very inspired.  You are a success!

I met you in AZ, right? I might be getting my LessofSarah and LosingSarah mixed up. 

No. Must be mixing me up :)

Success is being able to wake up and live another day.  I have lost 275 lbs whish is half of my body weight but I started at 550 in 2007.  I am 6 foot tall and still a large 16 and people act shocked that I had surgery because I am still a big person.  But I am an alive person, that feels her age and not 30 years older.  I am a person that can sit in a booth and walk to my  car at the furthest spot in the lot.  I am so proud that I did this for me and hate it when others act shocked that I am this size.

Exactly...THAT will be the topic of either part 2 or part 3. My surgeon's goal weight for me would have still left me qualified for WLS.

Yes Yes YES! The goal isnt to be skinny or many of us would be a damn failure. The goal is to live life, be happy and healthy..after losing 186 lbs I am all of those things...Skinny? Nope and never will be...but I dont determine my sucess by how skinny I am.

Great post Sarah and we look forward reading more....  

I love you, Sarah - you have been such an inspiration to me, and, I'm sure, many others. When I read that comment that someone wrote, I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to punch that individual - lol! I love that you have used this hurtful experience to draw attention to a very important issue. My hope is that the person who wrote that will see this, and realize how counterproductive their attitude is, but, even if they don't, others will. Keep doing you - you are AWESOME, and a TRUE SUCCESS STORY!