Please be kind

very well put GG  :)

Lord have mercy!!! I have been on this site only about a month or a little more and have noticed that people are EXTREMLEY RUDE AND JUDGEMENTAL .. let then judge, they will have to answer for it one day. I have noticed its always the same people for the most part. Ive actually considered leaving this site because we are all here for the same thing. Information and advice on wls . Some people need to get off their high horse and realize they are no better than you or I. No matter where you are in life there are people like this you just have to discard their comments and soak in the comments that are truly helpful and written with good intentions Several people from what ive read seem to be here just to troll and put people down to make them feel better about themselves and their choices. we are here for support not to be talked to like trash!!!!!!!.. Just had to put tthis out there because i feel the same. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all!! Didnt your mothers teach you people!!!!!!! Brooke. sorry to vent lol

NONE of the vets come here to "troll" or to "put people down".  We would not waste our time here (some of us invest a significant amount of time!) if we didn't truly want to help.  You are complaining about other people being judgmental and then YOU have the nerve to judge people's intentions when they write their posts?!?  Seriously?!?!?

I have been here for over 6 years and only twice on the RNY forum (the Main board and the Rants and Raves forum are another matter), and only twice have I seen anyone talk to some like like they were "trash".  In both cases it was blatant and disgusting (in the second instance, within the last year, someone came on here and told people, that of they were still fat they didn't have anything valuable to offer in a discussion).  In both cases, multiple people reported the posts to OH and the posts were deleted right away.  NO ONE talked to the OP like she was "trash" in either the post about the pizza or in this post.  Your accusation that people did is offensive.  Everything posted in the original thread to the OP was intended to help. 

No one here thinks they are "better" than anyone else.  More experienced? yes.  More educated about RNY and post-op life?  Sometimes, yes.  Willing to continue to come here year after year and put up with bull**** like this from newbies with raging hormones?  Yes, for now... Unlike the ones who create the drama and don't stick around to pay anything forward.

Lora

Right f'ing on!!! I couldn't have said it better. Mean girls,...just like the movie,.. just plain MEAN GIRLS. I absolutely hate how women tear each other down. Oh, sure,..sometimes they "pack" up together as I see is being done here,...just like a pack of rabid dogs or a pack of cheerleaders from high school. Grow up ladies, I am SURE you are way past tryouts for the cheer leading team. Shame on you all.

If you don't like how people respond to you you can block them. But if I were you - I would look back and see why some comments upset you ? Sometimes best advice is hard to swallow. Some people who are more veteran - longest from surgery - we cash see a slipperry slope someone is getting on. Why - because we either did that ourselves or saw our friends do that. I do believe most if us can benefit from professional help. suggesting that is not mean - is helpful.

How is telling someone the truth be rude? If your surgeon told you to stop being an ass in eating the wrong things, you would not complain...but take it. While this forum says it's a support site, it IS a business first and foremost! It's not for the "pat you on the back, everything will be fine" type...sometimes support is telling you how idiotic your choices are. I'm not saying you are idiotic (you being generic) but your choices are.

And if you thing THIS is judgmental...then I am glad you were not around a couple of years ago when the board nannies came out and ended up in a exodus of MOST of the vets. This is MILD compared to back then...

What you post will get all kinds of responses...if you don't like it, block the person...compalining and telling others how to post is the fastest way to get more responses that you do NOT like.

Liz

Southernlady, I was only about a year out from my surgery when the mass exodus that you spoke of occurred.  At that point in my journey, I HIGHLY valued what most of those vets said and I learned so much from their postings and from their experience.  With that said however, I do remember a few of those vets, and i do mean a FEW, did get rather personal with their responses.  I remember in particular several threads that were reduced to some pretty nasty name calling.  When that happened, I lost some respect for those who chose to stoop to that level. I just did not feel that was necessary.  While I do miss some of those people, there are again, a FEW that I don't miss at all. 

Amen!!!  Part of the reason they were encouraged to move on was because their words were reflecting badly upon this " business" site.  The sponsors that fund this site get a lower return on their investment when a few " realists" think that their reality is the only reality.  The nastiness ran people off from the site and by discouraging people who they deemed not ready/ worthy of WLS, they likely cost the sponsors money.   That's not helpful to a "business " site.

As you know Catben78, I actually did NOT reply to your post on the RNY board that started this toddler tantrum and the people who did were not at all rude to you, but honest! 

If you want people to tell you that eating pizza at 3 weeks out is ok, then form a litle group for yourself where you and your newbie buddies can swap stories about how to eat around your surgery and ignore your surgeon's recommendations for eating!  You will then have somewhere you can all meet and discuss how the surgery is crap because you never reached your goal and wonder why you are now gaining pounds every week ...

I hope you are able to look at this in a couple of months (when the hormones aren;t raging) and realise how silly you are making yourself look with all this whining at people who are truly trying to help you!

ETA:  Interesting that you would bring this spat to this board - motivation?   

Amen!