Please be kind

someone needs to help me find my clapping hands, I need them, great  honest reply

Here, I can clap for you...   

 

Lora

:)

         here you go!!!!

:)

Mistakes with my food choices! I'm the expert in that department! Talk about ups & downs. Any journey, weight loss or otherwise, that any human undertakes is fraught with peaks & valleys.

I raise my glass (okay, okay: this time it's got plain water in it) to you for sharing your true journey, even though this time it was a valley, not a peak. I can't wait to see more of your posts because I know all the wonderful HIGHS you'll be sharing with us too (many more highs than lows, take my word for it).

When you get a reaction from a poster, remember: It's all about YOUR reaction (or lack thereof). You can choose to remain calm. Try to read the response without emotion (or as close to that as possible). Even if it's cloaked in vitriol or seeming cruelty, there could be a nugget of knowledge that you can take away that will make your journey a smoother one. This new life we have is just that: NEW. So much change so quickly. Open your eyes, mind, heart & soul to every nuance.

You've heard the saying, "Take offense"? Remember, you have to TAKE offense. It's a reaction on your part that causes you to be upset. The poster may have cruel, heartless intent, but it's up to YOU to TAKE offense. Choose to remain calm!

I wish you only the best on this wonderful journey toward your new life!

Love, gg

GG--What a beautiful response!!! You're so stinkin' smart...Must be a GG thing...

When did you reach goal?!?!?!?!? How did I miss that?!?!?!?!?..I suck rocks...

Peaks/valleys/winding roads/...AMEN, my Sister..PREACH !!! And the journey doesn't end until the gates open...

Two of my favorite sayings (both "stolen", of course-and I don't even remember whom to give the credit to)

Nobody can MAKE you feel a certain way"...Like what you said above

"It's none of MY business what OTHERS think of ME"

You'll be happy to know I'm still referring to the OA books, pretty much daily, though I still have not attended an IRL meeting. I'm currently 10 lbs UNDER scale goal (first time ever-*what a hoot @ 11 yrs out*

SOOOOOO happy to see you passing on your wisdom-you NEVER know whom you will inspire (even old GGs like me!!)

GiGi

 

Yeap.

GG sister, you made some great points. I thought a lot about this thread last night. I remembered the decades I spent (since 6 years old) having insults, backhanded compliments, barbs, & indirect criticisms shoveled at me along with outright incredulity that I was so fat & such a downright slob that I didn't do anything about it. That was my life. It became a way of life.

I believe that posters who blatantly criticize (not to say outright attack but...) those of us who bare our souls on Obesity HELP are like the well-meaning "tough love" "friends" & acquaintances & strangers we've dealt with daily our whole obese lives. I also believe a few of them are bullies.

In my experience on OH, many times a clue to the negative poster's agenda can be found in their screen name. I perceive that these negative posters are completely powerless IRL. They have a spouse or boss or adult child or parent who verbally or emotionally abuses them (or they have no meaningful relationships, romantic or otherwise). They go onto Internet forums & find what they perceive to be "weaklings" & spew some pretend power & strength, with the result being the age-old schoolyard drama: Bully: "You're fat / stupid / uncoordinated! I'm better than you, Weakling! Na nee na nee boo boo..." Weakling: "You hurt my feelings! You're a meanie!" [cries & runs away]

It's up to us to bow out of the role of weakling. Things have changed. We're either no longer obese or fast on our way to being skinny / healthy. As human beings we naturally gravitate towards those who are like-minded. As obese or formerly-obese people, we naturally surround ourselves with those who see our beauty & goodness & light without pointing fingers at our expanding midsections.

As skinny / getting-skinny / more-mainstream-looking people, it's time to stand up for ourselves instead of running away. This is something we have to learn because we've never had the strength or courage to do it ever before in our lives.

I say to the OP (original poster), welcome to the Internet where you'll be embraced with love & friendship & support from people who were total strangers. If you didn't bare your soul through your post that you made a "wrong" food choice, others on this journey wouldn't have realized they're not alone. The Internet is not impersonal because it's made up of human beings made of flesh & bones.

Part of you knows that making a downright unwise food choice was a warning signal on the road to your new healthy life, & that part of you brought you to this OH forum to share your bump in the road. We've all seen stories about WLS patients who defeat their surgery. I have an IRL friend who's had 2 surgeries & defeated them both. She has serious mental food issues that haven't been addressed through 2 surgeries in 10 years. Her mother starved her as a child & my friend became a food hoarder & sugar addict. How can those habits be changed with one swipe of a scalpel? They can't.

As Gina mentioned, Overeaters Anonymous (OA) is a treasure for those of us looking to seriously address that "head & heart hunger." http://www.oa.org

Have a wonderful, wondrous weekend!

Love, gg

YES GG ! you said  it so eloquently !

For me it DOES help to receive the whole gamut of responses when I post a question.  Gives me plenty to think about and understand over time too ... whether its about successful weight maintenance  or human nature and behavior ...