STARTLED!!!! from deep sleep ....

I fell asleep last night after talking to my relatives in Panamá ... I forgot to put the phone on the charger and it slept somewhere on my bed with me .... I was in deep slumber and a much needed rest too ...

It was then that the goofy T-Mobile ringtone of the cellphone rang directly in my ear from under the covers and startled me awake ... I sat right up startled with my heart beating so darn fast in my chest and cold fingers of fear gripped my heart ... for a moment I could not breathe... all I could say in my head was 'dear Lord ... not my sister... not my sister ... not my sister... please please PLEAASSEEEEEE NOT MY SISTER' ...  the cellphone kept ringing LOUD in the stillness of the house.... fearfully I reached for it ... my hands are wet with cold sweat and I am shaking... totally afraid of the phone ... totally afraid of the voice and the news on the other side of the line ... 

These fleeting thoughts in my head sent me into frank palpitations and the verge of a nervous breakdown ... I tell myself PEACE! BE STILL! I recall getting off the phone earlier and all was okay with the cir****tances ... I slide my  finger upwards on the touchscreen and accept the call .... a foreign voice with an accent that sounded nothing like mine or my people's came across the line ... telemarketing me what? CARAJO! you have got to be kidding me!!!
  I flung the phone and took deep breaths .... panaManiac inner biatch in full control my heart returned to normal ... I went to my personal bathroom and ran cold water on my face and sat on the john and voided ... totally exhausted .... from being startled awake and totally freaked thinking the unthinkable ...how am I going to handle this if things do not progress as expected? shhhh don't think that ... don't think that... think positive I tell myself...

I came back to my room ..... sleep totally gone .... I decided to go ahead and take my morning shower this early ... I was not running this morning .... I washed my hair and put on my makeup ... I went into the kitchen and turned on Cuisinart and got one of my DK K-cups in Vanilla flavor ... I sprinkled cinnamon and nutmeg into my cup and added skim milk and a couple packets of Splenda ... stuck my cup under the nozzle and pressed brew and had an awesome cup of coffee ... 

Wider awake than ever ... I go downstairs and I folded the clothes that my dearest son always seems to forget in the dryer.... I went across the room and checked on my guys ... my eight ferrets all asleep in a heap on one hammock ..gotta love 'em ... they each have their own hammock but they rather cuddle.... I was then that my eyes caught the wall ... and my gesso and my brushes .... and I could not resist ... 

Sitting on the floor I added another bird to my now blue wall... totally grateful ... that all is well back home and my dearest sister is fine ... fighting the battle and responding well to treatment ... she is the better one of all four us siblings and the oldest... and she is strong and she is beautiful .... 

My heart restored, I painted another hummingbird ... fun ... peace... happiness and calm ... painting is therapeutic ... and I am grateful for my once busted wall of pain .. that is no longer ... how soothing ... I am back to being me ... after been startled awake by a stranger on a 'do not disturb' line ... go friggin' figure...

I found peace painting a little bird on my wall ... and calm.... I heard footsteps ... and it was my other half, my DH who heard me moving around downstairs ... and he snapped my picture ..



And because I take a picture a day for my digital empowerment journal titled A Picture A Day Keeps the Pounds and Inches Away on my walk away from morbid obesity for life ... and because I am a picture AW ... this is my journal entry today ... Came in to work and doned a sweater in the freezing AC workplace and enjoyed a Gala apple ..... one of my faves....



Thank you for allowing me to share my goofy thread ... I swear I was almost scared to death in the wee hours of the morning ... for a split minute I had to force myself to breathe ... I am trying so hard not to give in to fear and superstition .... my sister is stronger than the C word dreadful illness... we got this!

You're pictures speak 100000 words. You look great

 Thank you!!! I will be checking out your link too...

It is so ironic that you posted this today, yesterday my boyfriend and I were discussing the conversation with the Mother of the shooter with the news media that called her and I said no matter what happens when the phone rings at 2am and someone says are you so and so, the next thing is never going to be good news.  I got rid of my home phone 10 years ago because my phone would ring occasionally and startle the crap out of me.  I do not sleep with my cell phone at all, even the slight buzz of an email or text message would wake me up.  I can imagine those seconds before you knew it was nothing were horrific.  I hope your sister is reacting positively to the treatment and will be much better soon.  Waiting is so hard.  Okay onto you and that wall, you were up in the middle of the night painting, why the hell do you look like a model.  Really you are making the rest of us look really bad.  Snap a pic of me early in the morning and it would scare small children.  I love the green dress and matching shoes.  Very cute!

 That call had me so messed up I had the jitters for a whole day ... can you imagine..... thanks for the well wishes for my dear sis ... and YOU are the model my dear ... I am just a goofy old fart LOL...

 I really like your idea of a picture a day for your empowerment journal.  I never let anyone take my picture along with the fact that no one wants to take my picture.  I am at the beginning of my journey with my rny scheduled for August 1st , but I want to use your idea as incentive since I don't have personal support. A really great idea.

 It is an awesome tool Linda .. even if you do it for your eyes only it does not matter ... I wanted to see it happen and continue to happen ... and I enjoy it ... I always loved pictures.... being away from home and having my family overseas we take pictures all the time ... a lot of pictures... 

 I hate those calls in the wee hours of the morning!  As someone who is going through her own share of personal/family/legal stuff I can totally relate!  Any phone call like that would litterally send me reeling!

I love all of your pictures (especially of those of your busted wall of pain!  Love, love, love your artwork you should be very proud!!!) You are a wonderful inspiration!  Once most of my personal/legal ilk is gone perhaps I will begin back with my artwork.  It is so theraputic!!!

Congratulations on all of your achievements!  You are such a beautiful person!

Mallisa

 Jump right in and let your artistry roll Malissa .... it is certainly soothing and therapeuti in problematic times I find ... whatever your niche is .... you look very artistic natured yourself ... and you are BEAUTIFUL! and rocking your journey too!!!  I love seeing your pictures and I truly appreciate your support and encouragement ....