I Don't Have To Hide Anymore......

I took today off to focus on my wildlife photography, my bf wanted to go shopping this morning so of course I jumped on that opportunity, I love shopping.  I bought a few things and two pairs of new shoes.  I came home in the afternoon and got my gear ready to go see if the baby swans were born yet, no swans, no access to the river because of some stupid concert so I figured I had to make the best of it by doing what I do best, more shopping.  I wanted a cute white maxi dress to go with my new shoes.  I found the perfect dress and even a jacket to make it wearable to work, I left the store and went to my car. I look over at the car in front of me as I am dialing my bf and the girl getting out of the car starts waving at me.  I knew I knew her but I couldn't figure out why, duh it is my ex's step daughter  with my ex's wife.  I looked over at ex's wife and she is still in the car, she waves at me but doesn't budge from the car, I haven't seen her in probably 2 years and could tell she had gained weight.  I finished my conversation with my bf and I left, when I got out of the parking lot and to the light I could see Melissa finally leaving her car.  I remember those days of hiding from people because I didn't want them to see how much I weighed.  Thankfully they are gone, I feel bad for her as she is married to a dickhead and has many medical issues, but I cannot be her friend.  My ex husband still brings me up, after nearly 13 years of divorce and she hates me.  My son says if his dad even mentions my name she flips out.  Hopefully some day she will finally divorce him and find happiness for herself.  I am so thankful for wls that my days of hiding from people are gone.

I can certainly relate to that !!!  to you!!!

I am so envious of womyn who can wear their weight with pride and not hide a drop of it.  Muffin tops and all.  I was never that person, I was ashamed and that is really sad.

BTW-- I love this post.  Yet, so true.  I thought it was just me.  In fact, I was invited to a Birthday Bash Friday night, that I know was going to be very nice.  I didn't even try to go because of the weight I've gained.  I would have seen too many people that might have noticed it.  I was actually wishing this birthday was a few months later--- because I am hoping to be sleeved with in the next 30 days!!!  

And you know that no one really cares and if they gossip about you, really so what they are ******** anyway.  It really is all in our heads that we have to hide out to save embarassment, I spent 20 years of my life doing it,  really it makes me sad.  I have a friend who at 480lbs did everything and never felt ashamed at all, I was envious of her even though I felt bad for her when she was put into awkward positions by not being able to fit or whatever, I think it hurt me more then it hurt her.  She grew up in a familly that was all big, so she was never made to feel bad about her weight.  Amazingly after her successful wls, both her mother, step father and one of her brothers and a sister in law followed in her footsteps, and the last I heard were all doing very well.

Good Luck with your surgery.

 I can relate to "hiding". I have even left a store so I wouldn't run into people I seen. I hope to someday soon feel as confident as you. (I get to start my wls process next month :) BTW, you look awesome!

Thanks!

Good Luck with your journey, enjoy every second of becoming the you that you see in your head.  It's like you get to give birth to the new you and you can be anyone you want.  It's pretty amazing.

 I couldn't be that woman's friend either if I were in your ahoes but I just had to tell you that your compassion for her is beautiful and says much about you.  I'm happy not to be hiding anymore too!

I actually like Melissa, I tried to warn her before she married him and a few years ago she said to me why didn't I listen to you.  Her family is super nice to my son also.  Her daughter is a sweetheart also, but like I said I know she really resents me because the dickhead still brings me up.  I would kill any man who did that to me.

I am truly delighted to not be embarrassed and withdrawn anymore! I will never be a social butterfly, but I can certainly hold my own with anyone now. It feels great.

You handled a tough situation with grace and dignity, Heidi. And congrats on your new clothes and shoes!