I Wish I Never Had Wls
I never said i was going to take my own life, I dont want to live anymore..there is a difference Chris. know the damn difference !!!!!!
STATING HOW I FEEL!!!!!!!
STATING HOW I FEEL!!!!!!!
7stents (2003)...Heart Attack(2004)...Open Heart (2004)....Wls (2007)...Heart attack 2012...1 stent (2012)...Heart Attack (2013)...Heart Attack (2013)...1 stent(2013)
~~~Best Vitamin For Making Friends B1~~~
On March 24, 2012 at 2:16 PM Pacific Time, huskergalWsD wrote:
I dont want to live anymore..You say it will pass..so heartless of you to say that to me MM
I will never have a man in my life. they all want me to work hard, well I can't, my energy level is not of a 16 yr old, after 9 heart surgeries i will never be able to do (even after taking off 110 lbs.)what all men want and thats to work outside the home and cook and clean for them (their place and mine)I am so mad. and do everything "THEY" want me to do..I get condemned because i spend too much time on the computer reading researching medical issues and working on eating healthy foods.Last summer I did ride horses with him , because it is his passion, not mine.never will be mine. I am a city girl..
He never does things with me that are my passion, its been discussed and he just has no interest that i like..and wont do them with me.
I am the reason for making my fiance have anger issues..I cant keep up with him. Don't want to leave him either. He does have good things about him. I have another app with the therapist Monday.he's reminding me of my step father (that molested me when i was 11)..whom slapped the **** oughtta me gave me a biggest bloody nose because i wouldnt cook dinner for him at age 16.. I cant stop crying, no one to talk to.. i'd rather not burden my family with my problems..its crazy, i go visit my 35 yr old son and they all seem happy and fat. laughing.. maybe i'd been happier fat..now i cant eat. no appetite...most of this reflects back to my decision of having wls.. i dont go into much detail so people in OH dont understand me. i am miserable.. I really dont want to live anymore, that will never change.
This world is too fast paced for me.. hugs to you guys,,Peace \/ ..........Wendy
I am the reason for making my fiance have anger issues..."
i am just wondering exactly what is the attraction to a man who doesn't like the things you like..... and his anger issues are *his* anger issues.
its easy for us to sit back in our easy chairs and dissect your situation but it seems clear that you had a lot of hopes going into surgery and now you are more depressed than before? If this therapist reminds you of someone who abused you, find another one.
you did something good today...you reached out and asked for help. threatening suicide is no answer. it's the cruelest thing one can do to the people left behind.
5.0 cc in a 10cc lapband (four fills) 1 unfill of .5cc on 5/24/2011.
.5 fill March 2012. unfill of .25cc May 2012. Unfill of .5cc June 2014.
Still with my lapband with no plans for revision. Band working well since
last small unfill.
HW: 267lbs- size 22-24 LW:194lbs CW:198lbs Size 14-16
okay...I didn't see your response to Chris until just now. Please remember this is the Internet where we can not hear your tone of voice. we can only go by what you put out there and Chris wasn't. the only one *****ad it as a goodbye cruel world post that happens once in a while on this site.
chris is one of the nicest guys on this board...your anger is misplaced.
chris is one of the nicest guys on this board...your anger is misplaced.
5.0 cc in a 10cc lapband (four fills) 1 unfill of .5cc on 5/24/2011.
.5 fill March 2012. unfill of .25cc May 2012. Unfill of .5cc June 2014.
Still with my lapband with no plans for revision. Band working well since
last small unfill.
HW: 267lbs- size 22-24 LW:194lbs CW:198lbs Size 14-16
I didn't read it as a "goodbye, cruel world" post. I read it as a woman who was in enormous pain and is struggling to keep her head above water... and having a really hard time.
She sounds like she's in a really low place. Where some might see it as a "call for attention," I think we ALL need attention at times and it's not a bad thing. When we're low as we can get, someone should attend to us.
I think Christopher might be seeing her response as "man bashing," when in reality, she really does have a lot to be angry about regarding men. I don't think it's something she can really help right now, probably.
She sounds like she's in a really low place. Where some might see it as a "call for attention," I think we ALL need attention at times and it's not a bad thing. When we're low as we can get, someone should attend to us.
I think Christopher might be seeing her response as "man bashing," when in reality, she really does have a lot to be angry about regarding men. I don't think it's something she can really help right now, probably.
Avoid kemmerling, Green Bay, WI
(deactivated member)
on 3/24/12 9:28 am, edited 3/23/12 9:29 pm
on 3/24/12 9:28 am, edited 3/23/12 9:29 pm
Nicci,
I NEVER said she hasn't been hurt by numerous men. What I said is that doing so does not help her situation. In order to get healthy she must take responsibility for herself. Blaming will not lead to healing. I sincerely care for the welfare of all posters on OH.
What I find interesting is that the poster doesn't want answers, just the pity some may offer her. Answers such as mine call for us to grow as a person and growth through her hurts is incredibly painful. No one can lighten her load because, in doing so, it enables dysfunctional behavior. This is something she can and must do for herself. There is nothing we or anyone else can do to help her. She must want this for herself.
Best,
I NEVER said she hasn't been hurt by numerous men. What I said is that doing so does not help her situation. In order to get healthy she must take responsibility for herself. Blaming will not lead to healing. I sincerely care for the welfare of all posters on OH.
What I find interesting is that the poster doesn't want answers, just the pity some may offer her. Answers such as mine call for us to grow as a person and growth through her hurts is incredibly painful. No one can lighten her load because, in doing so, it enables dysfunctional behavior. This is something she can and must do for herself. There is nothing we or anyone else can do to help her. She must want this for herself.
Best,
Hi Christopher,
I didn't mean to lessen your support of Wendy. It's just sometimes difficult for a woman who has been sexually abused as a child to separate one man from another. It's not meant as a personal thing... but it's just that she may be at a stage right now that she'll be misunderstood. And she may have more anger toward men than toward women. It's a rough thing.
I hope it didn't seem as if I were saying that you did something wrong because that's not what I intended.
She may not be able to listen to answers right now, honestly. It sounds very much like she's in a dark place... once she's out of that place and back to where she might be able to read things more clearly, she'll see that answers are available and help is there for her.
Take care,
Nicci
I didn't mean to lessen your support of Wendy. It's just sometimes difficult for a woman who has been sexually abused as a child to separate one man from another. It's not meant as a personal thing... but it's just that she may be at a stage right now that she'll be misunderstood. And she may have more anger toward men than toward women. It's a rough thing.
I hope it didn't seem as if I were saying that you did something wrong because that's not what I intended.
She may not be able to listen to answers right now, honestly. It sounds very much like she's in a dark place... once she's out of that place and back to where she might be able to read things more clearly, she'll see that answers are available and help is there for her.
Take care,
Nicci
Avoid kemmerling, Green Bay, WI
I agree that we all need to take responsibility for ourselves. That does not mean, though, that other people never bear any of the responsibility for our problems. For instance, I was abused pretty badly as a child. I now have PTSD. I am responsible for getting treatment for my PTSD. I cannot expect my abuser to fix it for me. However, it's not fault that I have PTSD. I don't have it because I'm not strong enough or determined enough or don't try hard enough or whatever. I have it because this person did something terrible to me. If all I do is blame the abuser, no, that won't heal me. But placing blame where it belongs is one step that can bring me closer to healing. Recognizing that the abuser did something wrong and I did not do anything wrong will help me heal.
Sometimes when I feel really depressed, I don't want answers. I"m sure that seems strange to some people. The thing is, there are no quick and simple answers to complex problems like the PTSD and depression I sometimes experience. Sometimes I just want people to hear how I feel and to sympathize, or empathize, with me. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Sometimes when I feel really depressed, I don't want answers. I"m sure that seems strange to some people. The thing is, there are no quick and simple answers to complex problems like the PTSD and depression I sometimes experience. Sometimes I just want people to hear how I feel and to sympathize, or empathize, with me. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
You & I have so mu*****ommon, Kelly. You put into words exactly what I've wanted to say to so many people who are close to me (my husband who is a scientist & has no right brain; my mother, who all she ever says is, "Get over it for gahd's sake! That was decades ago! Your father is dead. Stop blaming your parents!"). I was at the bookstore last night looking at PTSD-recovery workbooks. I found 3 authors that resonated with me. I also found out there's a PTSD recovery center about 30 miles from me. The RNY is step one. Now I have to work on relearning how to trust (men AND myself). Such a long journey!
The Courage to Heal is a really good book, if you haven't read that. It really focuses on sexual abuse but I think even if your PTSD was from other childhood trauma, a lot of the stuff in there would still apply. There is also a workbook that goes with it.
And there are some other good workbooks as well.
My mother sounds a lot like yours. A few years ago, I was hospitalized in a hospital that has a unit specializing in the treatment of PTSD. After I was discharged, I was talking to my mother on the phone and I told her where I'd been for the last three weeks. And she said, "PTSD? Why, did something happen?"
I said, "Um, yeah, I was sexually abused as a child." And she says, "Oh, well, yeah, I knew that... but I thought maybe you meant something happened."
It would sure be nice if it was that easy to get over it. I read something I really liked once and now I can't remember where I read it. But this woman said that her response, when people tell her to just let go of it, was, "I'll let go of it when it lets go of me."
And there are some other good workbooks as well.
My mother sounds a lot like yours. A few years ago, I was hospitalized in a hospital that has a unit specializing in the treatment of PTSD. After I was discharged, I was talking to my mother on the phone and I told her where I'd been for the last three weeks. And she said, "PTSD? Why, did something happen?"
I said, "Um, yeah, I was sexually abused as a child." And she says, "Oh, well, yeah, I knew that... but I thought maybe you meant something happened."
It would sure be nice if it was that easy to get over it. I read something I really liked once and now I can't remember where I read it. But this woman said that her response, when people tell her to just let go of it, was, "I'll let go of it when it lets go of me."
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
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