I Wish I Never Had Wls
I dont want to live anymore..
You say it will pass..so heartless of you to say that to me MM
I will never have a man in my life. they all want me to work hard, well I can't, my energy level is not of a 16 yr old, after 9 heart surgeries i will never be able to do (even after taking off 110 lbs.)what all men want and thats to work outside the home and cook and clean for them (their place and mine)I am so mad. and do everything "THEY" want me to do..I get condemned because i spend too much time on the computer reading researching medical issues and working on eating healthy foods.Last summer I did ride horses with him , because it is his passion, not mine.never will be mine. I am a city girl..
He never does things with me that are my passion, its been discussed and he just has no interest that i like..and wont do them with me.
I am the reason for making my fiance have anger issues..I cant keep up with him. Don't want to leave him either. He does have good things about him. I have another app with the therapist Monday.he's reminding me of my step father (that molested me when i was 11)..whom slapped the **** oughtta me gave me a biggest bloody nose because i wouldnt cook dinner for him at age 16.. I cant stop crying, no one to talk to.. i'd rather not burden my family with my problems..its crazy, i go visit my 35 yr old son and they all seem happy and fat. laughing.. maybe i'd been happier fat..now i cant eat. no appetite...most of this reflects back to my decision of having wls.. i dont go into much detail so people in OH dont understand me. i am miserable.. I really dont want to live anymore, that will never change.
This world is too fast paced for me.. hugs to you guys,,Peace \/ ..........Wendy
You say it will pass..so heartless of you to say that to me MM
I will never have a man in my life. they all want me to work hard, well I can't, my energy level is not of a 16 yr old, after 9 heart surgeries i will never be able to do (even after taking off 110 lbs.)what all men want and thats to work outside the home and cook and clean for them (their place and mine)I am so mad. and do everything "THEY" want me to do..I get condemned because i spend too much time on the computer reading researching medical issues and working on eating healthy foods.Last summer I did ride horses with him , because it is his passion, not mine.never will be mine. I am a city girl..
He never does things with me that are my passion, its been discussed and he just has no interest that i like..and wont do them with me.
I am the reason for making my fiance have anger issues..I cant keep up with him. Don't want to leave him either. He does have good things about him. I have another app with the therapist Monday.he's reminding me of my step father (that molested me when i was 11)..whom slapped the **** oughtta me gave me a biggest bloody nose because i wouldnt cook dinner for him at age 16.. I cant stop crying, no one to talk to.. i'd rather not burden my family with my problems..its crazy, i go visit my 35 yr old son and they all seem happy and fat. laughing.. maybe i'd been happier fat..now i cant eat. no appetite...most of this reflects back to my decision of having wls.. i dont go into much detail so people in OH dont understand me. i am miserable.. I really dont want to live anymore, that will never change.
This world is too fast paced for me.. hugs to you guys,,Peace \/ ..........Wendy
7stents (2003)...Heart Attack(2004)...Open Heart (2004)....Wls (2007)...Heart attack 2012...1 stent (2012)...Heart Attack (2013)...Heart Attack (2013)...1 stent(2013)
~~~Best Vitamin For Making Friends B1~~~
(deactivated member)
on 3/24/12 7:54 am, edited 3/24/12 8:03 am
on 3/24/12 7:54 am, edited 3/24/12 8:03 am
Things will not improve for you until you stop blaming everyone else for your struggles. Doing so exonerates you from any responsibility to examine your own share of responsibility. Threatening suicide on here is meant for attention. You know if you threatened it to people who knew you, they would call the authorities to get you the help you need but don't want. Instead, you want to pick and choose your help.
There is a place were you can find people who will know exactly what you are going through, and they will be supportive. It's called LAA http://loveaddicts.org/laahome.html, or SLAA http://www.slaafws.org/. You will find solace there, and tools that lead to happiness if you choose to use them.
Good luck on your journey,
There is a place were you can find people who will know exactly what you are going through, and they will be supportive. It's called LAA http://loveaddicts.org/laahome.html, or SLAA http://www.slaafws.org/. You will find solace there, and tools that lead to happiness if you choose to use them.
Good luck on your journey,
On March 24, 2012 at 2:16 PM Pacific Time, huskergalWsD wrote:
I dont want to live anymore..You say it will pass..so heartless of you to say that to me MM
I will never have a man in my life. they all want me to work hard, well I can't, my energy level is not of a 16 yr old, after 9 heart surgeries i will never be able to do (even after taking off 110 lbs.)what all men want and thats to work outside the home and cook and clean for them (their place and mine)I am so mad. and do everything "THEY" want me to do..I get condemned because i spend too much time on the computer reading researching medical issues and working on eating healthy foods.Last summer I did ride horses with him , because it is his passion, not mine.never will be mine. I am a city girl..
He never does things with me that are my passion, its been discussed and he just has no interest that i like..and wont do them with me.
I am the reason for making my fiance have anger issues..I cant keep up with him. Don't want to leave him either. He does have good things about him. I have another app with the therapist Monday.he's reminding me of my step father (that molested me when i was 11)..whom slapped the **** oughtta me gave me a biggest bloody nose because i wouldnt cook dinner for him at age 16.. I cant stop crying, no one to talk to.. i'd rather not burden my family with my problems..its crazy, i go visit my 35 yr old son and they all seem happy and fat. laughing.. maybe i'd been happier fat..now i cant eat. no appetite...most of this reflects back to my decision of having wls.. i dont go into much detail so people in OH dont understand me. i am miserable.. I really dont want to live anymore, that will never change.
This world is too fast paced for me.. hugs to you guys,,Peace \/ ..........Wendy
Even if you could eat you wouldn't be happy, and PLEASE get rid of this "man" (although I wouldn't even call him that). If he doesn't do things you like to do and doesn't love you for who you are or what you CAN bring to the relationship then it's not healthy. Even without a guy you'll be far less lonely than if you're with someone you don't connect with. If you need to talk you don't need to post things like this, everyone has their own struggles, and has had low points. Take some time and FOCUS ON YOU!!! It'll be better for everyone in your life in the long run. Maybe you can start re-connecting with your family? At least go get a pedicure, a new hairstyle, something. Only you can change the fact that you're miserable, I hope you understand that.
Wendy, I know you feel really low but having a man who only cares about himself is not what you need in your life at this time. Sometimes we just have to step back and take stock of were we are and try something new. Reach out to family, friends, pastor, medical. Do whatever it takes to get you back on the right tract. Remember even when we can't love ourselves that God still loves us and is just waiting for us to ask for His help. You have support' just reach out for it. God Bless
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