Surgery is tomorrow...

So I was doing great all day. I have had a great day with family and preparing for the big day. I have been wanting to write my 14-year- old son a letter just in case I didnt make it. I put it off until about an hour ago and then I sat down and wrote out a page and a half. This is so hard for me to think about because it has just been him and I since he was just a few months old and he has some special needs as well. I silently cried the whole time I wrote it and then had to go into the bathroom to cry some more here in the hotel so I didn't wake my ain't and cousin up. I didnt think I was going to be able to stop but I'm hoping I've calmed down enough to get some sleep. I know I have made the right decision but the fact that I have never had surgery before just makes this that much more scary. It's this normal? Anyway, any encouragement or insight is appreciated.

Yes, very normal.  I updated my will and powers of attorney for incapacity pre-surgery.  As a single parent of a special needs child, you have a very important role in their life.

The surgeon explains the risks pre-surgery.  One of them is death.  One never knows when our time is done in this world.  I spoke with my loved ones too.

It is three months ago that I had surgery.  I am still going strong and my will, etc.are still up to date.  

Good luck today or tomorrow.  I am sending a prayer on your behalf.

Judy

Thank you so much Judy, that means a lot to me.

I know exactly how you feel!  Surgery is such a scary thing.  I tried to talk to my best friend about being scared and she started crying, telling me not to talk about dying.  So I hope that something I say will help comfort you. 

My first surgery was for the lap band.  Scared, scared, scared....... I made it through with flying colors (as everyone tells you you will).  Lap band didn't work for me.  Last Tuesday, 3/13/12, I have a second surgery had lap band removed and gastric bypass peformed.  I was more scared than before.  There are no words anyone can give to you that will make the dread go away, but you need to be at peace within yourself.  I am not advocating "religion", I am advocating true peace within yourself with whatever you believe in.  Take deep breaths, feel the peace come into your body and blow out the negativity.  Deep Yoga breathing is very helpful for that.  One of my questions was "How will I know if I don't wake up?".  Man, that question pissed people off... but really, how do you?  I came  to terms with it while I was laying in the bed being prepped for surgery by finding the peace within.  The more relaxed and positive you are, it can only help make a positive outcome. 

It is totally okay to be afraid and if you weren't I would say you were crazy.  Just know that the odds are in your favor.  I had a friend that had 4 major surgeries last year (3 due to breast cancer and one due to tripping over her dog) and she is doing great.  Several years ago she had another cancer issues and 2 surgeries then.  You just have to accept that you can't control what will happen, but when  (notice I said when, not if) you wake from surgery, then you need to kick ass on this weight stuff and try to avoid ever having to have one again.  That's my plan. 

Best of luck and I would love to know how it turns out for you!

Thank you so much. I completely agree that having a positive attitude can make things go much smoother. I was worrying that my sense of near panic was a sign I'm not ready for this,though. I'm glad to hear that this is normal. It is a big deal. Ihave a very difficult time being vulnerable and out of control of myself but your right, I need to find my inner peace. I will practice before they wheel me in. Thank you again.

 Very very very normal.  I had surgeries before and was still normally scared and wrote 5 letters.  One for my family overseas, one for my DH, one for my son, one for my daughter and one for my friends ... I was so exhausted after writing those letters I fell asleep and when I woke up only had time to shower quickly and drag my clothes on as I was the first case and had to be at the hospital in the wee hours of the morning.  You are going to be fine.... CONGRATULATIONS ... best wishes for an uneventful surgery and recovery ... I am soooooooooooo happy for you as you embark on this wonderful journey....

My surgery is april 16 Ive had alot of surgerys but they were all stuff i had to have so I to have been trying to write letters and have been so intune with who would take care of my boy hes two. Ive tried to write the letters a couple diffrent times and end up crying so hard i cant finish. I am scared but i also beleave only god knows when its time for me to go. i seem to be watching everyone with my son to see how they would love him. I also noticed that ive been really hard on my hubby about how he cares for him. Its hard to relax but turn to god and try to relax your not alone good luck. Loretta

{{{ hugs }}} I'm a single mom too so I know some of how you feel. I've been scared for other surgeries but not this one. Trust your surgeon's skills and the good team he assembles and the protocols he sets. And remember why you're doing this: to be healthier and stronger for your precious son.

Be sure to come back when you can and tell us how it went!