Only just the start...let's get real.
Is there room for one more?
Revised from Band to Bypass 10/26/09
High Wt 355/ Surgery Wt 343 (BMI 61) / Current Wt 190 on 3/17/12
TT/Fleur De Lis 8/22/11
Mastopexy and Brachioplasty 12/14/11
PS - It's also really good to see you here. I've missed you and think of you every so often. So glad you popped back in to visit us with wise words!
Success supposes endeavor. - Jane Austen
SO glad to hear from you! I totally understand what you are saying. Yes, there are all these issues we go through and there is NO perfection! I think "win" and "succeed" -these are just up to us and the way we are looking at things.
I know I can be so horribly harsh with myself. I forget all the amazing stuff I have come through. Same for you. Just like you said-you are STILL so far ahead. Much better than you would have been without the loss and we know that is a fact. Imagine what your blood work would have been had you have not have gone through with the surgery and changes!
That "ideal" weight thing is a tough one to get over but I think our peace of mind depends on it.
You know when it hit me? I went to this hospital to have a yearly workup here in England. I met with the nurse after they did all my labs and tests. I was so excited as I got off the scale and it read 173. I thought-DANG!! Great job. But then-the nurse said "So-what is your goal as far as weight loss?" I said .."Well-I figure between 160-165 is really the best for me"...she looked at me with a smirk and said "Oh..think again..let's see (as she looked at the BMI chart)-how about 135-140 max?! You need to lose some weight!"
I then of course tried to remind her that five years ago I weighed nearly 400 lbs!!! I tried to explain that for those of us who were super+SUPER morbidly obese (yep-i get TWO of them!) we just may never get there and it's OK!!!! Um-no. She was not having it.
I went home deflated. I know I should have just ignored her and I knew she was wrong. But it still hurt and to be very honest-it set me off on a bad couple of months of depression and feeling like a failure.
It took lots of work with my brain and making myself REALLY review what I had accomplished to get over it. That-and I plan to write the hospital about this nurse-because she was SO out of line!!
Hey-we are doing GREAT my friend!!
Hugs,
Peace
T
I love this thread and I think I will always consider myself a struggling success~
I struggle every day to take my vitamins and supplements.
I struggle every day to log every bite I take.
I struggle every day to weigh myself.
I struggle every day to keep my blood sugar in control.
I struggle every day to see the beauty that others atribute to me. I have a picture in my underwear drawer, cut out from Allure magazine, of a model, with a notation from my dear 78-old friend that says, "You are THIS thin."
I struggle every day to make the right food choices and to remember that too many carbs give me a belly ache and the ****s.
I struggle every day to exercise.
I struggle every day with my decision to pass on plastics and send my children on academic excursions and college instead.
I struggle every day watching my 13 year old daughter live with obesity and wondering what lies ahead for her.
I had my RNY when I was 38. I have, hopefully, a LONG life ahead of me to live with that. My days are filled with things I never contemplated before that I MUST do in order to maintain my health. Some days I resent that. I will never be "normal" again. I chose that, but knowing I chose it doesn't make it easier. What helps is knowing that there is a whole community out there struggling right along with me.
Another post I honestly do love! My notebook is going to be busting out! LOL!
I have to tell you when you shared about your 78 year old (young!) friend giving you the picture with the notation-I cried! That was the most lovely thing I have heard in a long time. Only a very compassionate soul could have thought to do something so amazingly helpful!! What a great friend you have!!
Your daughter-That's a tough one. I just bet you so ache for her. What do you do? There are so many ways to go and none are promised as the right way! Certainly everyone has their 2 cents though-don't they??
I am glad your daughter will have you-and see you go through all the changes. You will be there for her when she reaches some of those big challenges-you will be there and you will be there HEALTHY! it's worth all of it.
I really can get behind everything you wrote-I totally can relate. All of it is the truth. And the best of all-we ARE here. There are a BUNCH of us on this board! LOL! It's like we have all sort of been floating around.
Eh-time to descend and join ranks. I know I SO need you all!!!
Anyway-thanks SO much for your post!
Hugs,
Peace,
T
JoAnne