How do you nurture yourself? How do you have FUN?
I have to brag. I have the two bestest besties a gal can have. Rach and Kari have been with me since high school. We have danced at each other's celebrations, and cried together at our tragedies. They have watched me fall off the face of the earth and welcome me back without reproach. They have watched me kill parts of my soul with drug addiction and food addiction and bad relationships, and then loved me back to health when i would let them. They have taught me about healthy boundaries and what taking care rather than care taking means. They remind me everyday about the kind of person i want to be. And in this spirit, we have completely turned ladies night out on its arse. LOL! ohhhh we still go out. But instead of picking a different decadant restaurant to go to before going to a movie, we now do more active things. We will go to the mall and walk around. Sometimes we try things on clothes. Mostly we window shop and move. We go dancing. That's right. Dancing. I. Dance. I DANCE! and its so bad! lmao. I have NO rhythmn! And they get right out there with me. I love that their husbands are fully supportive of the ladies nights out. Sometimes they will come with and laugh at us, but i see what's under that. ....two men, completely in love with wonderful women...who are proud to be with people who can act silly and cut loose and who love life as passionately as those two do. We go to the gym and swim and then soak in the hot tub or sauna. We took a zumba class and if we had breath left we would have laughed. By the end of the class, i was litterally shrugging one shoulder and trying to shuffle a foot just to keep moving. omg. we laughed hard later...but no one had breath left to laugh then.
I have to brag again. I have the best kids ever. We are learning to fill our buckets together. we now play Wii more than we sit and watch television. (i rock at kung-fu fighting and funky town. just sayin!) we go to water parks which often have discounts on weekends in the off seasons. we play!!! it rocks. i am connnected to them. In ways that were impossible for me before. My six year old once said, mom you throw like a girl. My eight year old said, that's because she is a girl. it was a shock to my son. lmao. apparently moms are just moms and girls are yucky. lmao
And last brag...my family has been so supportive. Sure they still forget and offer those decadant desserts and dishes that i LOVE. but they are making attempts. we now focus more on cards and games like family talk or grandparent talk at family events rather than it all being about the food. Sure it is still food based. But for losing 100 pounds, they had a celebration party for me in which everyone made a healthy dish. Not only are they trying to be supportive of me, but they are getting healthier as well.
I guess relationships are the way i am filling my bucket. I do self care as well. Mani/pedi's, eyebrow waxing, getting my hair done, a good book, logic puzzles, a few moments walking in my day really helps me refocus, wls support group and staying connected with those friends, and just getting out more. For two years i was afraid to leave my home. Now i love getting out as much as i love those rare days when i get to stay home and tear into another project around the house. (hurry warm weather! i need to get the living and dining room painted!) I am rarely bored now, and look forward to the occasional slow days! I still focus on food a lot. But it is more to prepare for something that will support my lifestyle than it is to comfort myself.
My brother was diagnosed with rare and aggressive form of cancer and it was by far the biggest challenge so far. Depression and hopelessness run amok! But i used the tools i am learning. I reached out and talked with people. I journaled. and mostly just learned to be present for family. I hope these suggestions help. I know i have the life i always wanted to have now. I just didnt realize it was always right there waiting for me.
I have to brag again. I have the best kids ever. We are learning to fill our buckets together. we now play Wii more than we sit and watch television. (i rock at kung-fu fighting and funky town. just sayin!) we go to water parks which often have discounts on weekends in the off seasons. we play!!! it rocks. i am connnected to them. In ways that were impossible for me before. My six year old once said, mom you throw like a girl. My eight year old said, that's because she is a girl. it was a shock to my son. lmao. apparently moms are just moms and girls are yucky. lmao
And last brag...my family has been so supportive. Sure they still forget and offer those decadant desserts and dishes that i LOVE. but they are making attempts. we now focus more on cards and games like family talk or grandparent talk at family events rather than it all being about the food. Sure it is still food based. But for losing 100 pounds, they had a celebration party for me in which everyone made a healthy dish. Not only are they trying to be supportive of me, but they are getting healthier as well.
I guess relationships are the way i am filling my bucket. I do self care as well. Mani/pedi's, eyebrow waxing, getting my hair done, a good book, logic puzzles, a few moments walking in my day really helps me refocus, wls support group and staying connected with those friends, and just getting out more. For two years i was afraid to leave my home. Now i love getting out as much as i love those rare days when i get to stay home and tear into another project around the house. (hurry warm weather! i need to get the living and dining room painted!) I am rarely bored now, and look forward to the occasional slow days! I still focus on food a lot. But it is more to prepare for something that will support my lifestyle than it is to comfort myself.
My brother was diagnosed with rare and aggressive form of cancer and it was by far the biggest challenge so far. Depression and hopelessness run amok! But i used the tools i am learning. I reached out and talked with people. I journaled. and mostly just learned to be present for family. I hope these suggestions help. I know i have the life i always wanted to have now. I just didnt realize it was always right there waiting for me.
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