Questions- fears- in need of clarification before I start my journye

Hello Everyone!

I am new to this site and I am hoping to get some feedback from those who have had the surgery or about to embark on this journey.

My very supportive boyfriend and I just attended the information session at the hospital in which I would be having surgery. If I chose to have surgery I am to have the R-N-Ybypass surgery.

Before attending the info session, I was excited with the thoughts of having the chance to be healthy, feel energize and lets face it- thinner.

I left the info session, scared out of my mind and doubting the surgery. I have tired so many things to lose weight and have not been successful- I even did Crossfit workouts and managed to not lose but tone-- i stopped going due to lack of weightloss- i lost motivation.

Anyways - I am petrifried - I realize this is major surgery and I know the hospital has to be upfront with their stats- they had had 3 deaths out of 550 surgeries- this scared my boyfriend and I. How am I to push forward trying to not focus on the fact that I could die during this surgery :(.

I am also taken aback from how much the changes will be- no more chocolate- no more coffee- many many changes- will I ever again be able to enjoy a peice of cake - say at my wedding?

I am also struggling with having to take 20-30 mins to eat 1/2 cup of food the rest of my life... How do you do it? What do you use for motivation- What about the sipping on water and not being able to drink with a meal?

I am looking for any comments- suggestions- how you dealt with these changes- are you still struggling with them? How is life after surgery?

Please help- I have a year waitlist unfortunately but I have time to think about it... the funny thing is when I think of it today- i keep focusing on how well and good i will look if i do have the surgery- plus i have so much weight to lose (150lbs for goal) that the surgery is my best option...

Help :) Thank you!

Chanelle

Chanelle,

In all your research put your reason for having surgery at the forefront. Personally I took over 10 years to finally go through w/it and I don't regret the wait. I ended up having the gastric sleeve which wasn't even available when I first started researching and overall this was the best option for me.

I would be lying to you if I said that your life isn't going to drastically change and you will have to adapt to your "new normal". Currently I am 2 weeks away from being 4 months out and at most meals I can only eat around 1 1/2 to 2 oz. That seems strange preop but for me it is heaven! I am no longer a prisoner of food or constantly making good choices and starving! My knee arthritis is gone, I have more energy, I can do more things and I finally feel normal! Those are my motivatino for having to chew slower, take longer eating my meal as well as not being able to drink and eat at the same time.

Eventually you get use to your new routine. I workout 5-8 hrs a week, I am able to keep up my high protein and low fat, low carbs & and low cal requirements. I have a long way to go but I have also come a long way in such a short amount of time. There are adjustments that have to be made but for me they were worth it. I know RNY is different but w/the sleeve I can eat anything--coffee, chocolate, etc--and I don't have any food intolerences.

Best of luck to you!

First things first, you could die. But remaining fat could kill you, too. Only you can decide what the risk are. And, 3 deaths out of 550 isn't terrible. Find out, from you doctor, the exact ature of these deaths.

No more coffee? Weird. I drink scads of coffee every day. I will tell you that in the first year or so, it's not wise, But after a while, not so bad.

The real deal is giving up on alcohol. It is a big deal even if people deny it. But the truth is, you should give up on it anyway. Google NASH.

The rest of the "information" is for the first part of the surgery. Now cake at your wedding is ifffy, Some will dump on it, some won't. There are plenty of alternatives.

The fact is, you can live without most of this stuff. It is going to take your brain a while to get the concepts. You can do it but it will take time. I amnot sure this is the best place for good information, but take what you can and leave the rest. You have time to sort grain from chaff.

Relax and good luck.

tee

While your concerns are certainly valid, I will also add that many of them may turn out to be completely unfounded.

For instance, since practically day one of my surgery, I have been able to drink normally.  I do not have to sip, sip, sip.  I also eat normally.  It does not take me any longer to eat post-surgery then it did pre-surgery; however, I've also never been one to gobble my food either.  By most standards, I've probably always been a relatively slower eater.

If I want chocolate, cake, or anything else, I have been able to eat it.  Granted, I don't eat a lot of this type of stuff, but if the mood strikes, I will indulge on occasion.

 

The not drinking with my meals does not bother me because I was never one to really drink with my meals anyhow. 

The only issue I've really had with my RNY is I have to keep a watch that I don't become constipated; however, I take a shot of Mirilax most mornings and this does the trick for me.

My life since I've had my surgery is absolutely fantastic.  I feel great, look great, and I'm healthy and happy.

Like you, I think most of us have the fear that we could die as a result of the surgery, but for me, this was not a major concern because I was convinced that I was for sure going to die without the surgery.  I have no doubt that had I not had the surgery and continued to gain weight, it would eventually have killed me.  Let's face it, there really are not a whole bunch of old, healthy obese folks walking around happy...

Wishing you a successful journey whichever way you choose to go!!!

Is it more important to you to have a healthy, normal-weight body for the rest of your life or to eat a piece of cake at your wedding?

 I had open rny in April of 2005 at 40 years old and 283.5lbs, nearly 7 years later I weigh 142lbs and after two rounds of plastics have a body better then when I was 20.  I eat at a normal pace, drink with my meals as needed, have some chocolate when I want it and honestly feel better then I ever have.  I need the dumping rny causes to keep me on the straight and narrow, I would rather live on ice cream if possible, but I can't because it makes me sick as a dog.  I left the hospital off my diabetes meds, I picked a doctor I trusted and knew even if I died I would have been at least trying to help myself.  It's been a miracle to me.

Consider your eating and how each surgery will effect it and then choose what will work best for you.

 What got you to go to the meeting in the first place. Cake or lack there of is not the end of the world.  You appear to be looking at all the things you wont have insteand of what you gain which is ultimately health.  3 deaths in 550 surgeries if my math is correct thats about a half a percent.  If you drove to the seminar you were probably at greater risk of dying.  If you are  wound up this early you are not ready for surgery and need to do some more research.  You have started out well you have someone who supports you but you are far from the point of no return.  My sister had RNY 7 years ago she has had birthday cake at every birthday since.  In those seven years she has regained 20 pounds and stayed there still down 140.  It is meant to be life changing but not life ending.  If you're getting married and planning on having kids you have the potential of dying.  No surgery should be entered into without caution but your risks of dying from obesity or its side effects far out way the risk of surgery.  Your not stuck on a half cup of food the rest of your life.  There are folks that I have spoken with that are very active and consume 4000-5000 calories a day.  If you are not willing to do some of the work to make the surgery a success then you should not proceed until you realize it is going to take some work. So does being thin and healthy without the surgery.  

The changes post-op are easier because of the surgery.  i had many of the same fears and concerns,  The difference between now and then is i have the tool (rny) in place. 
I cannot beleive the difference.

It requires work, yes,  but I know what i expected post-op to be and what it is, are 2 totally different scenarios.     please private message me and i will send you my phone # and we can talk.  i will be 4 months out on the 9th. i am down a total of 60lbs and feel great.

 Chanelle,

You are good to be doing your research.

I am VERY impressed that you understand the changes that need to be made to have a successful WLS.  ANY WLS.  We have to change the way we eat permanently, if we don't we WILL gain the weight back.

It isn't an all or nothing thing though  At 8 years out  I am able to eat anything, & never really had problems with dumping.  If I eat an entire box of cookies (and I can) I will dump, but it doesn't kill me.  I can follow the rules and be fine or break the rules and regain, it's my choice.

In your year long wait I would recommend going to concealing and really try to understand why you overeat.  It will make the life changes much easier.

Take care- 

Pup