XPOST: Love/Hate Relationship with my body
I don't think this is ever going to go away, no matter what I weigh. I can NEVER be happy with how I look! 
When I had my band emptied, replaced after the hernia, and emptied again a year later (too tight), I ate like a pig. Actually, I ate like the person I THOUGHT had been killed off by WLS and I put weight back on. I thought I had the old "emotional eating/stress eating/food as comfort" thing beat. While I have put on more than I am comfortable with, I still have had tremendous success with the band, but I find it harder to celebrate my success.
My poor little band is trying so hard to keep me in check, and I just keep fighting back. Newbies: harken! When you hear that WLS is "just a tool", remember it. Because it's the truth.
I swear that every ounce I gained went right on to my thighs and butt and I see everything from the waist (the Mason-Dixon line) down as horrifying and grotesque.
I know that I have to get my ass back to support groups, which I haven't gone to in, literally, years. I am trying to get back to the gym more (this pic was taken after workout this morning) but it's hard in the winter when it's 18 degrees, 8 degree windchill, and my arthritic old knees are killing me. But I AM trying.
I just want to hear that I am not the only one who can't seem to nudge the "I hate myself" insanity out of my head once and for all!
When I had my band emptied, replaced after the hernia, and emptied again a year later (too tight), I ate like a pig. Actually, I ate like the person I THOUGHT had been killed off by WLS and I put weight back on. I thought I had the old "emotional eating/stress eating/food as comfort" thing beat. While I have put on more than I am comfortable with, I still have had tremendous success with the band, but I find it harder to celebrate my success.
My poor little band is trying so hard to keep me in check, and I just keep fighting back. Newbies: harken! When you hear that WLS is "just a tool", remember it. Because it's the truth.
I swear that every ounce I gained went right on to my thighs and butt and I see everything from the waist (the Mason-Dixon line) down as horrifying and grotesque.
I know that I have to get my ass back to support groups, which I haven't gone to in, literally, years. I am trying to get back to the gym more (this pic was taken after workout this morning) but it's hard in the winter when it's 18 degrees, 8 degree windchill, and my arthritic old knees are killing me. But I AM trying.
I just want to hear that I am not the only one who can't seem to nudge the "I hate myself" insanity out of my head once and for all!
Banded 10 years & maintaining my weight loss!! Any questions, message me.
(deactivated member)
on 1/4/12 10:48 pm
on 1/4/12 10:48 pm
Hey Bette ! For what it's worth .. I see thru the plain Tshirt and bulky sweatpants outfit and see a Cutie !!
And yes you look WAYYY younger ,more hopeful , WAYY more healthy and with a mischievous glint in Ur eye lol ! I think U too know that U are looking good
at least on SOME level lol.
Yeah i can absolutely relate about the
in seeing any regain .
Its AWESOME that Ure exercising , showing up for Urself and dealing with
I can't STAND that guy !
And yes you look WAYYY younger ,more hopeful , WAYY more healthy and with a mischievous glint in Ur eye lol ! I think U too know that U are looking good
at least on SOME level lol.Yeah i can absolutely relate about the
in seeing any regain .Its AWESOME that Ure exercising , showing up for Urself and dealing with
I can't STAND that guy !
You have done a fabulous job. I hope you can find some peace and self-acceptance!! Be kind to yourself!!
Laura
Laura
Laura in Texas
53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)
RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis
brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco
"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."
(deactivated member)
on 1/4/12 1:39 am
on 1/4/12 1:39 am
Ok, your picture of your Mason Dixon line made me chuckle. I think as women, we'll never be completley satisfied with our bodies-look at all those thin women that develop anorexia or bulemia.
You have come so far, and rather than living in denial, you've done the important step of getting back in to the gym and focusing on getting on track.
You are still a great inspiration to me.
You have come so far, and rather than living in denial, you've done the important step of getting back in to the gym and focusing on getting on track.
You are still a great inspiration to me.
You rock Bette..and you are a total success.
I'm adopted ( which is important only because ) and I carry a lot of weight in my butt , hips , and thighs...the women in my family all have super thin legs...I have been jealous my whole life.
They have always been jealous of my boobs...no one is ever happy lol.
You have curves..and a great shape.
As Michelle said, you are an inspiration to me..and so many
I'm adopted ( which is important only because ) and I carry a lot of weight in my butt , hips , and thighs...the women in my family all have super thin legs...I have been jealous my whole life.
They have always been jealous of my boobs...no one is ever happy lol.
You have curves..and a great shape.
As Michelle said, you are an inspiration to me..and so many
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