Because I am Goofy Like that .... snippets

On days like today I encourage myself ... I embrace joy over misery ... because misery is right there trying to mess with me and I refuse to let it in ....

I just had a flashing memory of an angry ex ripping all the letters my mom (RIP) wrote me from home overseas when I came to America and over the years ... I love to treasure my things ... I had them all in an awesome chest that I covered in satin and embroidered myself  ... I made certain my chest always smelled of soft lavender and rose with a whiff of baby powder.... it was my mom's smell.  One day over 25 years ago... the angry ex threw my chest and my letters that I had sorted chronologically and they went flying all over the floor ... I tried picking them up salvaging as many of them as I could ... he started stomping on them and on my hands in the process ... he hated my hands because I could make things ...

Those letters meant a lot to me ... I felt my heart ripping in my chest when he started tearing at some of them ... I picked up the pieces and taped some back together ... some I couldn't but I saved the pieces anyhow ... I was so busy saving my moms words to me in letters that I no longer felt that blows and the shoves coming my way ..... that was over 25 years ago ... but when I remember ... I remember with a twinge of sadness that is quickly replaced with joy and gladness because up until the year of her demise in 2000 I collected all her letters that came after both before and after that incident ... I kept the ones I could salvage and the ones I could tape ... and in a very special compartment in a heart shaped bag that I made I keep the broken letters torn to bits that I could not put ever put together ... but their essence remain ... because my mom wrote them ... and I committed them to memory ...

Those thoughts came to mind as I was just sitting at my desk about to have my lunch ... a knot tied my throat and tears smarted my eyes ... and I almost let misery in to toy with my mind but I turned it around....  I remembered my mom with a smile ... my mom that artsy fartsy woman that people say I look so much alike although my skin is so many shades darker than hers ... she loved arts and she loved crafts and taught my sisters and I to sew .she did hair too and boy could she rock a frock ... I forgot all about misery for the beautiful memories of that awesome woman who I had the honor to call mom made me sooooooooooo happy in spite of all else... in my life I was blessed with an awesome woman for a mother who even in death I can remember with love .... and despite this challenge of years gone by ... I still have her love and her letters...

Then I sat thinking ... which today are my happiest moments? was is when I got my RNY, was it when I met my awesome DH of today, was it when I got this or when I got that? and the answer came to me as it always does ... my happiest moment ever was being blessed to be a mother...grava 3 para 2.....

What a goofy thread ... that serves no purpose ... but for some reason I felt good after writing it...

Thanks for allowing me to share ... snippets of my journey...  I take a picture a day for my empowerment journal ... A PICTURE A DAY KEEPS THE POUNDS AND THE INCHES AT BAY ... it is working for me.... 


I love love love love to see before and afters ... I would love it if others would come on my thread and share but if they don't care to or want to that is okay too....

My awesome big Size Small leather coat .. XMAS gift from DS ... I wore it to quick stop at the store after the Noche Buena mess I was a not about to do good china again ... so he and I ran out to get paper plates and disposable cups and forks for Xmas brunch ... he snapped a pic of his mom sporting her coat ... that I have to hear every 5 minutes that he gave me this awesome coats as he bums this or that off me LOL ... what a goofy guy I have for a son...
 
and here he goes ... hey ... my baby already has a receeding hairline like his grandpa ... hmmmmm no wonder he has been keeping his head shaved LOL ...
 
and my DD...
 
I love my two goofy grown arse adult children... I love my family and friends and cyberfriends ... heck .. I am just a love filled goofy sista ... now there is a difference between love and like LOL

Your mother is certainly looking down here with pride on what a beautiful daughter she raised, and at the beautiful grandchildren you gave her.

I'm glad your ex is long gone and you have a loving hubby now. Its hard to get to a place where you don't let the abuse and ugly baggage from the past pollute the present, but you are clearly in the better place. I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas and new years with your beautiful family.

 Thank you my beautiful sista... best wishes for you on yours too.  I am so sorry I am just responding I came home and crashed don't know if I picked up a bug in the office but is so not like me to miss the gym and dinner and everything else ... Thank you much for the support and encouragement always.

I always love reading your posts and seeing your pictures. Beautiful as always, you have beautiful children too. Wishing you the very best in the New Year.

Wishing you the best in the coming year too Samantha ...thank you so much for awesome support and encouragement always. 

Marta, I LOVE reading your posts. You are such an inspiration. I am at work trying not to cry reading about your mother. You know good mothers are underrated. You have been truly blessed to have had such a wonderful, loving, caring, and creative mother. It is obvious that she has passed those traits onto you. Unfortunately some of us don't have mothers we can talk about with the kind of love that you talk about yours with. I caught myself picking up one of my mothers evil traits today and texted my sister about it. Parents are strong influences on us and thats a good thing if the parent is loving. But I vowed to not be a mother like my mother is but to be a really good mother. A mother like yours was and a mother like you are. My daughter is a teenager and an older friend of ours was saying how much she loves her mother and how wonderful her mother was. I couldnt help but wonder if my daughter felt the same way about me. A few weeks later my daughter told me that she tells all of her friends how great a mother I am and that all of her friends wish they had parents like me and her Dad. I was blown away. I thought I would have to wait until she was out of the teenage years (you know, the years where they hate their parents) before I would be appreciated. But thank God she appreciates me now. Ok, I am going to go to the restroom dry my eyes and pull myself together so I can finish my last hour here at work. Thanks again Marta. You are a true inspiration and I hope one day I get to meet you in person.
Lisa

 What an awesome daughter you have Lisa and how awesome you must have felt knowing how she feels about her wonderful mom now.  Congratulations.  Thank you so much for you kind words always.. . you inspire me too...

 Awwww Martitalinda,

I had someone destroy some of the last words my Mom had written to me and it haunted me for a long time. But then I realized her words were forever in my heart just as your Mom's words are too.

Hugs,
Kathy

 Isn't it awesome that what we commit to heart remains and no one can ever touch it? I am so sorry this happened to  you.