ever feel like u don't belong no more?

Obese or "normie" we still need to consider the feelings of others.  Stop and think about how you want to present something and try to keep it as non-confrontational as possible without giving up your own opinion or point of view.

Like my dear old Okie Momma used to say "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!"  And goshdarn it, she was right again!

I know there are times you just want to rip people's heads off and use it for a bowling ball, but that's not really a good career path!!

Good luck--I know it's tough.

It may help you to get into counseling. It did help me. I learned to deal with the different feelings from losing the weight. It's not only our bodies that change but our entire outlook on life changes.

Sometimes we go from being willing to accept anyone or anything to have friends and loved ones around us to comfort us. As we lose weight we are less accepting of their needs and demands. Sometimes we realize that we have needs and demands of our own. That we are people in our own right. We should be treated as well as we treated others, and that others should be treated as well as they treated us...

Counseling was a great help to me, I hope if you go its as great a help to you too. No shame in getting counseling. It's a great "safe" person to talk to about how you feel. A neutral party.

Good luck!

There are a couple of possibilities. Valerie mentioned one - that folks are used to you being a doormat. I have a different one - I used to handle stress and anxiety by eating and no longer can. This has caused me to show more stress and be more irritable.

Only you can identify what's going on in your life. If it's the first, then it's OK and folks will have to get used to the new you. If it's the second, consider therapy or medication to help you learn to deal.

Either way, good luck!

 I have always found that the perfect formula that has worked for me all or most of my life pre and post op is always treating others in the same measure that I would like to be treated.  It is very doable when considering that I can only control me and my reactions to any given person or situation.  I choose not to let anyone mood or action dictate the course of my day and I pattern myself accordingly.  I have long realized that some battles are not worth fighting and others are and I pick those very strategically.  I always embraced the wise as serpent yet harmless as a dove approach to my life problems and situations ... including workplace and home.  Throughout the years I had to work on my very anal perfectionist nature and being a control freak LOL ... so I learned very early from my life experiences how to strategically and effectively drive the car from the backseat ... it works for me and for my home and for my workplace... 

Just work on you and your reactions which are the only things you can control ... love yourself and be charitable with yourself then you will realize how easy it is and how nice it is to approach others in the same manner of love and acceptance...

Do not settle ... be nice yet be assertive .. set boundaries.. don't react unnecessarily and chose all battles strategically ....

Don't be a punk nor be a doormat ... being nice and assertive have nothing to do with that ... sometime we just have to take our dove-hat off and take a stern GET A GRIP approach to a problem ... I have done it too ... I have an ignoramus inner biatch residing in me that I have to temper at times LOL....

Enjoy life and enjoy your journey ... every part of it ... life is so short that we have to make the best of each day...

I love this saying given to me by a friend and I try very hard to live by this.... this very same saying helped me yesterday when my mind wandered to one of my dark places of the past...

 ..."there is misery and joy in equal parts in this world. Misery will find us if we make ourselves a target. Joy is just waiting for us to acknowledge it. I find joy every day in all parts of my life and I just let it happen to me. Misery is there but I'm sure as hell not going to invite it in"..... 

 Wise , Sage  Beautiful Woman.. you are a Gift!  

Lawd sista don't say that LOL I fall so short from being a gift LOL ....I am just one goofy mess ...trust I make my fair share of mistakes some of them whoppers ...  but I am a blessed mess nonetheless ... as long as there is love and forgiveness and new beginnings in our hearts we just can't go wrong ...  or so I would like to think ... life has bounced me around enough and I have been through so much to realize that tomorrow is a brand new day and a miracle that is not promised.... so I am going to live it up ... today...

Thanks so much for all your replies....

I think another reason is me getting off track with my vitamins since the end of October!!!  This week i have been on track with them everyday and hopefully I will start to feel better!!!  I need to get back on track with protein drinks as well but they can be so darn expensive!!! and its hard when your on a budget! ugh... I really don't have any means of support here because people just don't understand.  I'm due for my 2yr apt this Feb so will def talk to my doc then but if I continue to feel like this or worse I'm going to contact my pcm and see about medication maybe... I used to take meds but stopped 1 week before surgery because I convinced myself that with the surgery i didn't need them no more... maybe i was wrong....

don't get me wrong I have people who love me and all but i still feel so alone and I'm tired of that feeling....