Just out of curiosity.. (parents of teenagers..?)

Before you had considered weight loss surgery (or even now after you've had it, or are planning it..), if your teenager (given they had co-morbidies and were obese or morbidly obese..) came to you and asked if they could have it, or wanted to ask a doctor about a particular surgery, or expressed just any interest in WLS for themselves.. how do you think you would react?

I had the VSG back in August.. 3 days before my 16th birthday. I'm extremely lucky that my parents supported me getting WLS... (my primary care doctor, not so much.. my endoocrinologist is the one who made the refferral, after i asked her about it.) I know a lot of people whos parents would not approve..

Would you approve? Or at least keep an open mind about it? Or absolutely not..

I'm really just curious. I've been looking around online.. Its damn near impossible for teenagers to get WLS under their parents insurance.. I'm lucky my family had medicaid at the time.. they're one of the few thatwill cover it for teenagers, in certain states anyway... I think more insurance companies should allow it.. and more parents should educate themselves before absolutely saying no.. 

I'm four months out today, er, yesterday.. its past midnight, haha. But I've lost the equivalent of a small child.. I'm off of more than half of my medications that iwason pre-surgery (including an anti-depressant... weird how that works out, huh? :)) and Ithink this is quite possibly the absolute best decision I have ever made for myself... ever.

Thoughts?

 I'm 25 and when i was 17 I went to a doctor and he said I was to young and that I couldnt make a life changing decision like that. I was put back on my moms insurance and i'm getting sleeved the day after Christmas. Congrates on making the decision while your young, cause when you have a family you can have fun with them. 

I think about this alot.  My 18 YO daughter is obese but probably does not qualify at this point.  I do think if she does not make changes she is heading down the same path as me.  I was 52 when I had my surgery and wish I had done it so much sooner but I am not sure I was ready for the necessary changes at 20. 

Due to the long term malabsorbsion of vitamins issue I would encourage her to try on her own She has never been on a diet.  I have only encouraged her to make healthy choices. But once she was older I would certainly support WLS.  I would probably encourage her to do VGS due to malabsorbion of RNY.

 Hi Ash.

I have four kids.  My oldest is 14, and overweight.

I do think about the day SHE MAY ASK ME to do something about her weight.

However -- she's grown up with TWO parents, a grandmother and an aunt whom all had weight loss surgery.

I think that may have scared her away from the option, the four of us combined have had enough side effects to make her rather be fat.  

That said, I would consider a different type of surgery for her -- or any of my children -- my hope is that the options will be better by the time we are THERE, if at all.

Ashely,

Great topic to discuss.

I'm on the fence about  this one . Torn between yes and no .

I have a son that is 16 yrs old and I am very watchful of what he eats.   I know what is healthy , I know exercise is important .  Like the old saying goes its easier to give advice then take it yourself and that is where I fall into with my son.

I dont allow him to sit down with a bag of chips to eat,  I dont allow him to drink pop all day , I dont allow him to go back for third or fourths .  I dont allow night time snacking unless I approve he has to ask first.

I dont let him just sit and watch TV or play video games.  He has to join at least one sport in High School to keep him active and it helps him to keep grades up and out of trouble kill three birds with one stone lol.

I forced him to join football back his freshman yr in high school and next yr he will be a senior and a starter and just loves it.  He does wrestling now, he is going out for baseball this spring.

I have a very very active son and he burns off what he eats and is in excellent shape.

My biggest fear as a parent for my child to be overweight and unhappy during his teen yrs and be made fun of .  I made damn sure that didn't happen to my son and it worked. I won that battle . My son is 6'2 weights 175 , with nice muscles and is 100% excellent health.

I think if there is a medical reason for the surgery then yes , but if it comes down to the parents allow that child just to sit down and eat a bag of chips, or a large pizza, or they just let that child sit on there ass all day playing computer games or video games then no . 

I think then the whole family needs to go and get counseling and nutritional help before they put a child through surgery .

at 16 or 17 I dont think the child is old enough mentally or responsible enough to go through WLS.  Yes, there is a few that is more mature for there age but not many.   I know for a fact I wouldn't with my son he isn't responsible enough to handle something as drastic as WLS. Look at us we are all adults between 20 to 80 yrs old and look how we struggle  and have trouble handling things.  If we cant handle things how is a 16 or 17 yr old going to handle it ? 

Also I think the child would fail at home with the surgery if the parents dont change there ways also.     How is the child suppose to eat right , get exercise if the parents are still doing the same thing as before the surgery . 

The parents have to change first and if the parents change , start eating healthy, start doing family exercise,  make the child get away from the computer and the dang video games get them into sports then the child should lose weight on there own and not have the surgery .

I agree.. If there is a medical reason, yes, but if the child is able to lose the weight on their own and they're just lazy, then no. That's ridiculous.. I have a friend that wanted to get a VSG, but she got denied, because well, that's just it.. She got herself that way.. Then eventually devoloped a few co-morbidies, but she's capable of losing iton her own.. she has never tried. ever. So they wouldn't approve her.

That's one of the things I liked about my program that I went through..I understand why people would be completely opposed to teenagers having WLS. It isa lot to deal with. So they had the psych consult and had family involved in the whole process

"Also I think the child would fail at home with the surgery if the parents dont change there ways also. How is the child suppose to eat right , get exercise if the parents are still doing the same thing as before the surgery .

The parents have to change first and if the parents change , start eating healthy, start doing family exercise, make the child get away from the computer and the dang video games get them into sports then the child should lose weight on there own and not have the surgery."

However, my family didn't change their ways,..I have threeyounger brothers, all with their own health issues.. One of them NEEDS to gain weight.. My parents are divorced, both have full time jobs.. Basically.. not many healthy meals are served, family exersize doesnt exist, my family spends too much time on the computer (myself included..) and my brothers play videogames religiously. But that doesnt' necesarily mean I'm going tofail, does it? I cook for myself, when my family doesnt. I got a gym membership, i walk, i dance, its all falling into place with me. My entire life (up untill my parents divorce) i was the most active kid in the world.. on ridiculously strict diets, metformin from the time i was 9 years old, played 3-4 sports a year.. at one point i wason 3 soccer teams at one time.. i would go from one game tothe next,andhave 3 games on any given saturday.. and still thatwasnt enough, and icamehome and did aerobics for an hour.. and i still wouldnt lose weight..

That being said, like said before, medical reason: yes. If simple things cuold be changed and thechild lose weight on their own, definatley not. But just because the family doesnt change, i don'tthink that necesarily means the teenager would fail.. In a lot ofcases yes. and Who am i kidding? if my entire family changed.. itwould make things sooo much easier. But I haveno controll over that. I do have controll over how i eat and exersize and take my meds,this this and that.

I guess it all goes back to the maturity of the one considering WLS.

That is a difficult question to answer. I have a 16 y/o son, but he's not over weight so it isn't something that I've had to think about. I suppose we'd have to sit down as a family and discuss all of the options. It's such a drastic change even at my (old) age, that I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable letting a teenager make that decision. I also think it would be hard to face the fact that your child is in a position to consider WLS. I have to say, I'd probably feel as if I had failed somehow as a parent if my child were in that position. I'm the obese daughter of an anorexic. I've made it my goal with my kids to make sure that food is NOT the focus of their lives, regardless of the fact that it has been mine and was with my mother. So, I think if my child were obese and considering WLS, some major family counseling would probably be in order. And then we could move on from there.

I'm really glad that it has worked out well for you, and you really seem mature enough to handle the decision that you made. I wish you nothing but good luck and health in the rest of your life's journey!

Ashley, you have been blessed to be able to have the surgery at such a young age and to be responsible enough to realize the life changes that comes with it. My daughter is 16 and is obese. She has diabetes and PCOS as well as other issues. I would like for her to get the surgery at 18 but I dont know if she will be responsible enough. She is smart for sure and can understand what is required but I have to wait and see if she will be responsible enough to commit to the changes. I am hoping that once I have the surgery and she sees all that is involved that she will be ready to commit in a few years.

Thank you. I know I'm really lucky.

I'm just curious.. a lot of people on this thread have said they'd wait till their children were 18.. Why? Thats what my mom said at first too.. but she agreed to go to a consultation to learn more.. and realized, that'd just be two more years of damage being done to my body.. as it would anyone else.. Is it emotional maturity or wanting them to fully make the decision themselves, or what?

First of all congratulations on making a life changing decision at such a young age and good question!  I think I would have to wait until my child turned into an adult (legal age in my province is 18), then let them make the decision, if they were mature enough to have a VSG.  You certainly sound like it at 16 and I'm sure you will have great success.

All the best to you!