company

She's my best friend she knew when she brought candy and soda to my house last week when she was hanging out and I told her it's to hard having things like that in my house. But thanks

So, what exactly will you do when you one day have a husband and kids?  They cause stress.  Will you blame them too, for your bad eating in the future?  Will you force them to eat the same way you do?  Will you resent them if they don't?  These are serious things to think long and hard about.  You can't handle someone staying in your home for a week.  How will you take the rest of your life.  I totally understood your post, and still read it as blaming them for your eating too much and the wrong things.  Once again, take control of yourself.  They don't deserve to be chastized because their lifestyle doesn't match yours.  If you're so stressed out, then say so, and I'm sure they'll leave promptly.  You value opinions -- so here's mine.  You're overreacting to this bubble-burst, and need more tests like this before the real world really sets in.  Regardless of what's or who is in the house, you have utter and complete control of your own will.  Exercise that.

 I feel for you and for you situation and the stress it is causing.  It's TERRIFIC that you're recognizing what's happening and how you've "slipped" today with the pasta (a definite NO NO).  I think that's the key to long-term maintanence--recognizing what you did and then correcting it--not letting it define you but just moving past it and doing better the next day.

The reality of life is that it's incredibly stressful and you will CONSTANTLY be put into situations where you are challenged with really bad food being put in front of you.  Often, the two (stress and bad food) coincide and this is where it becomes really difficult.  I was approved for surgery in August and had to lose 20 pounds pre surgery.  I live with my husband and my two daughers (6 and 20 months).  My husband LOVES junk food and tends to cook high carb high salt and even high fat foods (he's the cook in the house).  Even with all of that stress (the kids AND the husband) and with the crapy food (candy, soda, pasta, chips, etc) I was able to lose 25 pounds and have kept it off for surgery.  It took so much self control!!!!  However, this is where you and I are alike!  I too would have a day here or there where things got stressful and the "bad" foods were put in front of my face--and I too would end up eating them.  I can only blame myself for not controling what I put into my mouth, but like you it totally freaked me out and made me wake up.  Then the next day I was back on track .

My advice to you (if you want it): Keep being aware of what you're eating while you have guests.  Keep a food journal that day and write down EVERY morsel that goes into your mouth for the next two weeks (at least).  Studies show that people who journal what they eat keep the most amout of weight off. Don't eat mindlessly--make sure when you do eat, it's at the table with the tv and computer off.  And then just breath, breath, breath.  They will be gone in no time and you can make up for the bad days when they are gone.  Just don't give up on yourself or on your diet--don't let the slip define you and don't put the blame on others because if you do, you will keep messing up--BECAUSE you'll see it as their faut and not yours.  Instead, realize what you did and change it tomorrow.  

One more bit of advice--when I had a bad day, I too went on liquids the next day.  I drank protein shakes because that really filled me up.  I'd add fruit sometimes or some Greek yogurt (low fat and high protein).  And I'd take a good walk (if I was able).  Most importantly, don't get on the scale the day after a bad food day.  Wait a day for you to lose the extra water and then weigh if you feel you must (I do just to keep myself in check).

I wish you the best of luck and I KNOW you'll be back on track tomorrow.
Sheri

Thanks so much Sheri! Yes today I was back on track and back to working out. Thanks so much for your support and advice. I do keep a food journal. It helps so much.  Good luck for you on your surgery on the fifth? it says. Will be keeping you in mind!

 Yep, it's the fifth!  Good luck to you on your upcoming surgery as well!!! 

KIT
Sheri

 This thread has given me a lot to think about. You raised two issues:

1. What to do when people you are helping, by letting them stay in your house, break your house rules?

2. How you react when there is a lot of junk food around, especially when you are under stress?

Well the answer to the first one is very simple: Enforce the rules, and make sure your house guests don't overstay their welcome.

The answer to the second one is more elusive. There are two camps. One group feels that you should be able to control all of the food in your home (after all, it is YOUR home). The second group feels that since you will be faced with lots of food choices for the rest of your life, even when you are under stress, you might as well learn to eat right anyway so that you can be responsible for your own diet under any cir****tances.

While I understand that it is YOUR home, and your own refrigerator, and your rules, I tend to agree with the second camp. The first reason why is because you did open your home to your guests, which temporarily made it their home too. You are no longer entitled to privacy in all matters pertaining to food. You lost that when you made the decision to have them enter your home.

Second, the truth really is that you are not an island. People take goodies into jobs all of the time. Family members have birthday parties. You will surely want to go out on dates once you are all skinny and gorgeous *smile* There are a million reasons why you will be in the same place as really, really bad food, for the rest of your life. If you are going to have WLS, it will become really important that you don't fall "victim" to the bad foods around you, because they will make you really ill.

Perhaps this is a great opportunity for you to practise co-existing with bad food while you stay on your program, in preparation for the WLS to come, and your life that will follow it. You say that your friend will be looking after you. Surely she will want to have her own food choices available while she does you that favor. You can't expect her to consume the diet your doctor will prescribe for you right after surgery, now can you?

I think it is time for you to toughen up and learn to stick to your program no matter what food you have around.

Lisa

 

Life is full of temptations and things you can't control. In your house or not. You have to be responsible for you. So what they eat pizza etc. what th hell does that have to do with you? You can go shopping and get your own fod too ya know. Stress will enter your life undoubtedly at some point even when they are gone. Then what?

Sorry I guess everyone who is judging me is perfect...

I give up trying to explain myself.

I really don't see anyone here as 'judging' you---you asked for advice, and they're giving it. I also don't think anyone here thinks they're perfect---for goodness' sake, ALL of us either have or need WLS!

But we don't think there's any such thing as a 'perfect' world, either, so you need to start practicing living in the imperfect one we have.

No dear. NONE of us is perfect. Thing is, when you post something in a place that's open to the whole world, you can't control the responses you get. Time to put on the adult panties and live with the consequences of putting yourself out there in this way.

I *do* feel for you. I'm a fiend about my personal space--so much so that I would NOT have a homeless friend in my home, much less her boyfriend. That's what mommies and daddies are for IMO. So please understand that I empathize with all that stuff.

But when you DO open your home, you can't control stuff like what they bring in to eat. It doesn't work that way. You're really expecting the impossible in that regard.

The good news is that if boyfriend, in particular, thinks you're cramping his style enough, he's likely to leave quicker :-).

The temptation to stress eat is going to hit again and again and again. You'll just have to keep making choices, right along with the rest of us.

But really, don't assume that anyone who disagrees with you here is thinking themselves to be "perfect." What a whiney thing to say, and how patently untrue. You aren't helping your case any with that kind of crack.