company

Today I had a ton of pesto pasta. I have been eating healthy for so long and exercising every day.

The past couple days my best friend and her boyfriend have been staying at my house due to unfortunate cir****tances. I love her and would do anything for her, but it's effecting me so much.

I had oral surgery on Monday, so I haven't worked out today or yesterday because I'm still in pain. But the company is in my house is making me so stressed out. They fight, they are messy, and they come into my house with soda, pizza, ice cream... etc.. tons of bad food!

I am used to my own space, not having anyone here putting unhealthy food in my fridge. Like how dare they! Maybe I am over reacting, but I mean, they know what I am doing, they could make better eating choices while in my house. I just find it completely rude. I don't want to hurt my friendship with my friend but I don't know what to do... I find myself eating more with them around because of being stressed. I haven't ate anything unhealthy except for the pasta. I had maybe three bowls total today. Tomorrow I plan on only a liquid diet. I hope it works. I don't know what to do...I don't want to see them on the street but at what point do I say I can't do this because it's effecting my life in ways that I am not willing to mess up??

If you read this whole rant, thanks. Maybe it's all I needed was to write.

You need to set boundaries. It is your house. YOU are in charge.

Tell them,"No junk food in the house, do not leave a room without first cleaning up any mess you have made, no fighting in MY home."

If you don't say something to them, you can't expect them to stop engaging in their rude behavior. They are uncouth, not psychic.

You are doing THEM a favor, they should be bending over backwards to make you happy.

Don't be a doormat. If they don't like your rules, they are free to leave.

I agree with goodkel completely.

You need to understand that the one who is unhappy with the situation is you; therefore, it's up to you to change it, and it does not have to be nasty and negative.

I would sit down with them, very calmly, and lay out your expectations clearly and precisely in as nice a way as possible.

While you say you do not want to damage the relationship you have with your friend, the truth of the matter is that the damage is much more likely to occur if you don't address what is bothering you immediately...

I have to tell you that throughout my life I have stepped up more than a few times and have taken in someone in need, and having done so I will tell you that I now have one basic rule that I live by, and that rule is that I no longer open up my home to people because it just usually ends badly.

I have taken in elderly parents and nursed them through to their deaths, and would do that again without hesitation, but as far as opening my home up to anyone else, it's simply not something I would really consider doing with anyone I value a relationship with.

Here's the thing---the only person who's eating you get to control is your own.

I see nothing wrong with your asking your friends to not bring into the house things that you shouldn't eat, but...ultimately, it's up to YOU to not eat it. You're pre-op now, so now's a good time to start working on this. The world's not going to change when you have WLS---people around will continue to eat crappy foods.

How long do you anticipate them living with you? Is this a matter of a few days, or a more long-term thing? If it's just a few days, and if you "love her and would do anything for her", just suck it up. If it's going to be long-term, establish some ground rules RIGHT NOW.

It's very generous of you to offer them a place to stay but it's also important to take care of yourself.  Start by setting down ground rules.  First thing, an exit date, a firm one.  Give them a week, thirty days, whatever you feel comfortable doing.  No one should expect to stay with someone forever no matter how good of a friend they are.  Then tell them what you expect them to do while they are there, clean up after themselves, not bring friends over, not go in your room, not to fight, whatever you expect.  Then tell them that you appreciate if it they didn't bring junk food in your house.  I tell people who stay with me that drugs and alcohol are not allowed in my house.  That is my boundary.  You are allowed to have boundaries.  You are paying the bills.  When they have their own place they can call the shots.  If you are uncomfortable talking to them about it then maybe write things out and give it to them so they know.
I value my space and I don't give it up willingly or permanently.

Can I sit on the bench next to LadyTazz?  

Your house, your rules.  A warm place to stay is one thing, taking over your life is another.

Fish and visitors smell in three days.  ~Benjamin Franklin

When I am a guest in someones home, I cook, clean, buy groceries, and wash the sheets and towels we used prior to leaving. I also never stay with anyone longer than three days, I don't want to smell like fish LOL.

your the best house guest.

i have company who likes to come to the country often - - they know me.   i'm a neat freak (can't discuss hair in sink/drain what have you at ALL) ...., i provide the food & libations.   you take care of your ****   your **** in my way - my cows can have their way making new beds.

I completely agree with all of you. Thanks for the advice. I wish I could "LIKE" all of your comments.

I didn't want to sound like a nag so the only rule I made was clean your hair out of the drain and put the toilet seat down before you flush... lol

but I will deff have to make more rules.

I agree with everything everyone here has already said. You are doing this to help your friend, how well do you know the boyfriend? That has always been where my problem came in trying to help a friend. The boyfriend starts whispering what he believes should and should not happen and things go down hill from there. Whatever you do state your rules and stand by them...