Is it pathetic?

Having WLS only makes you lose weight - it is no guarantee of a happy and fulfilled life with a fantastic partner and perfect children - in fact, it will bring you a whole new slew of issues to worry about (possible saggy boobs - which you are already stressing about - and skin issues), how to deal with the extra attention etc!

If you are not having therapy currently, you should definitely consider it - to work through your failed one-sided relationship and to deal with the emotions etc that will come along with losing weight.

If you want to talk about being single before and after WLS come hang out on the Singles Board where you'll get the real "skinny" :

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_singles/

Bravo Kelly, MM and Kim! 

You said it all-I met the love of my life and married him at my heaviest.  I was always very confident and loved myself first....and apparently it showed because this normal weight, gorgeous man that I decided I must have is mine!! 

Only the size of your ass and jeans will change with surgery.  Put yourself first, find things about you that you love and let the world see what is on the inside....the rest will take care of itself.

Not only is it not pathetic, its smart to do something to make your life healthier, happier and more fun while you are young enough to enjoy it.  I am filled with regrets I was MO for 20 years while my son grew up and there was so much I was either embarassed to do or was physically unable to do.

 Make sure your picker is feeling self confident and worthy before you take the relationship step.

No, it's not pathetic, you're normal.  Isn't that nice to hear?

Being thinner is no guarantee that you'll find someone.  I couldn't get a date when I was obese and I still can't get a date now that I'm thin.....

Being lonely sucks, but being stuck with the wrong person is ten times worse.  

Take your time and be picky. 

Sending you best wishes for love and happiness. 

 I'm sure there are a lot of people saying they're just wanting to live a healthier life that secretly are hoping for the fringe benefits of landing a man, getting a  better job, eating lunch at the "cool table" with that clique you watch from afar.  We can have one goal, but the selfish desires are there, too, and to deny they exist is ludicrous.  

Now, these all may still not happen despite weight loss, for many of us realize that our weight isn't the core of our issues afterall.  Do yourself a good self-check to make sure you're not harboring other reasons that your hopes and dreams don't come true.

Thank you all so much for your advice and support. It means so much to me! You all have made very valid points. I do have a therapist who I see weekly. Sometimes it's not so easy for me to talk to her about certain things because I think well she's never been bigger, she has no idea what I am going through... which is why I am so grateful to have all of you guys.