As we approach Black Friday...

...this cynical old woman wants to remind you that, for most people, especially in this economy, it ain't worth it...and you didn't need it...and your kids will get over not having it.

As an atheist, I'm NOT a "Jesus is the reason for the season person," because there was a holiday celebration this time of year for YEARS before there was a Jesus.

And I'm not trying to deflate the economy any further because I feel like, if you've got it, spend it!

It's the rest of you I'm after...those of you who are FRANTICALLY trying to find a way to buy something/some things you just can't afford.  I'm not looking down at you, I've really BTDT...but in a better economy.

Yes, your child may actually face disappointment.  My sister was disappointed every year she DIDN'T get a pony.  (She may still be a bit pissed about that.)  That came in handy the year our mother could afford NOTHING for us for Christmas. 

Christmas of 1960, my mom--a factory assembly line worker at the time--was asked by her boss what Santa was bringing the girls and my mom had to say that the girls (we were 11 and 13) were aware of our financial situation and decided to give Santa the year off.  The last work day before Christmas, that boss called my mom to his office and asked where she was parked.  She told him and he told her to meet him there.  He opened the trunk of his car and handed her a "record player" (we had those back then...with an automatic record changer, eat your heart out) for my sister and a "portable radio" (they were heavy plastic with leaky batteries back then, but state of the art nonetheless) for me, that he said Santa had accidentally delivered to his house.  Mom cried and wanted to hug him but he was Black and she wasn't and somebody would have beat him up after work...so she just cried and thanked him.

So we actually DID get something material.  (I demanded an explanation because I KNEW she couldn't afford it...my sister was oblivious and probably still a little pissed about no pony.)

But the REAL part of the story (besides what a nice man Mr. Johnson was) is that while she was sad that her kids would be going without, she knew they COULD.  Back then, our parents...children of "the depression"...ALL knew we could live through that kind of thing.  They had.  They didn't die.  It IS easier when everyone else is broke, but it isn't fun either way...it's just survivable.  Knowing my mom, there would have been church in the morning and plans for red and green pancakes...we would have gone to her dad's house and played--and then fought with--our boy cousins who were close to our ages.  I don't remember more than one or two Christmas gifts from my childhood, but I DO remember seeing the cousins at the grandparents' houses.

While there were department store charge accounts (you paid them off at the end of the month, "revolving charge accounts" came later), there was not the wild array of credit cards that allowed people to put themselves into bankruptcy.  No one even THOUGHT about buying things that they didn't have the cash for.  Now, young folks need to learn that way of thinking.  This lousy economy is either here to stay or here for quite a while.  Those of you who have never gone without probably don't understand, at a gut level, that we can survive this.  And your kids can, too.

Enjoy the time with your families the day after Thanksgiving and leave the insane shopping to those who have something to prove to themselves.

I adopted my daughter from foster care - she was placed with just before Christmas 2005 at age 9 1/2, and had never known anything but brutal poverty. She had been homeless, had lived for a while in a tent, was ridiculed by the other kids on the occasions she did get to school because she had no access to hygenic things like a bath.

She had a coat when she came but needed a new one - I'd had her size in one she like transfered to our local store from another and they called me about it. I went in the bedroom to talk to them. When I came out she asked who it was and I said something about Christmas. She started telling me about places you could go to get help if you couldn't afford anything for Christmas. Broke my heart in 3 places.

Anyway, her Christmas list is always so short, and so sweet. If I went to the dollar store and dropped a $20 she'd be perfectly satisfied.

They may want, but they honest to goodness don't NEED all that stuff.

Agree. Entirely.

I've never shopped on Black Friday.  And whlie I am all for stimulating the economy -- I'd also like some stimulation.

Four kids, who expect gifts from my Athiest Santa -- still gets expensive no matter WHAT.

Well put, Sue.  And what a great story.

We have implimented an austerity program at our house.  I have a cell phone, the basic kind with no movies, animation, wi-fi.  We do not have TV cable or dish.


We do have an internet account that is basic and watch occasional stuff on the internet.

Even in every day life, it is amazing what we can live without and quite happily.

 We celebrate the new year and the time of new beginnings.

And the seaon of over eating and over spending (why, exactly )  honors who?

Yeah, I don't know, either.

t

well said, Sue.

It's rifle season....who needs black Friday??

Your mothers boss was a wonderful man....we should all strive to have a heart like him!

I stay at home with our daughter so we're on a TIGHT budget. She's only 17 months so has no clue about santa or Christmas yet. However, she knows LOVE and always will..the true meaning of the season.

Thank you!!! I have never done the black Friday thing. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels that we put too much stock into "what I got", and not enough into who we are with. Now, I'm not knocking spending, especially when you can afford it, but I just think that there are better ways to show the "spirit" of the season. The only people who get gifts from me are my 4 grandchildren. I refuse to buy the latest electronic gadget out there. Last year the Playdo and cupcake making kit was the biggest hit. This year it may be the Crayola Studio, cars play tent, wooden cars, and the like. Here's to a Merry Christmas! 

Yup.  I've been to parties where kids were expected to enjoy the expensive gifts they had just received but were having WAY more fun with me ...because I was a grown-up who paid attention to them...AND I brought lots of graham crackers, lots of frosting, and Christmas candies so we could make "almost-gingerbread houses."  Beats the crap out of electronics every time.  (And in the circles I travel in, that includes 7-years olds with Autism, and almost-40-year olds with Down syndrome and many others as well.)

Oh, yeah...and if anyone in your crowd is around two years old, there is NOTHING in the world as important as pouring stuff out of one container into another.    Well, maybe snacks and puppies, but pouring is WAY up there.