POSTPONING THE SLICER ...goofy, silly and chicken....

 ...OR TOTALLY CANCELLING OUT ... somethings are sometimes better left undone ... until due season... or the time is right or the mind is made up ... or when alert bells don't ring in ones head...

After consulting with my digital journal I think I made my mind up... and I am making a phone call...

I am calling and canceling or postponing or rescheduling my thighplasty and knee lift and hold out a bit longer..... I really don't want to get up off the cash right now in this economy ... I really don't want to deal with pain/drains right now ... I really did not have a problem with my gams as long as I wore my very own support hoses that held them together and all their loose and unhinged bits as nicely as I approved of them ... my loose skin homeostasis broke when I saw my zoomed in gams looking extraordinarily HUGE recently ... sent me off kilter ... oh no wait, that is so not accurate ... seeing my loose skin like a layer or water skin or jelly skin under me or trailing behind me when I sit on the couch or daybed after removing my support hoses really threw me off kilter ... hae you ever pinched yourself accidentally with your own skin? ouch! WTF?

I have been stashing all my extra pennies earned extracurricular at my shop and my tips and should have had this procedure done at the time of my brachio but decided I needed my arms to pull up the compression garments so I put it off ... after the horrible swelling and tightness and numbness that I still deal with in relation to the brachio I put off the thighplasty and knee lift indefinitely until the other day and I have a scheduled date next week ... which I am about to call about...

I have to  thank my empowerment journal " A PICTURE A DAY KEEPS THE POUNDS AND THE INCHES AWAY" for helping me make up my mind... 

In retrospect I could have lived with my batwings ... my uncle and kids and DH gave me the funds as a Christmas gift 10 months after my RNY when I had lost all my excess weight and was wayyyyyyy below goal .... I held on to the funds for over a year before proceeding.  In the interim I had an awesome insurance paid panniculectomy... When I finally had my brachioplasty I decided to cut corners...went to a different doc... paid a little bit less ... and came out with an f'd up bargain ... I got just what I paid for .. an half-arsed job ... I am so NOT knocking the surgery ...I really do not regret it ... but there are certain things that I could live without .... I have numbness and stiffness in my otherwise healthy arms .. I had GUNS prior to brachioplasty and now my arms are flat and tight in some places and loose in others ...with lack of sensation in some places and STILL swell hello? 2 years after ...

So I peeked in my journal....

With my batwings I had my guns ... this is before brachioplasty...


I could arms wrestle my son and WIN with my batwings and still do ... that is unless he and my DH figure out that I use totally cheating distracting techniques to get their minds off the task at hand to tackle them and win TEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEE they are soooooooooooooo dufus ..they could beat me any day really LOL...

Me arm wrestling with DS prior to brachio ...

I could hold my batwings in with just posture and position ... as long as I did not lift and wave my arms I was fine ...shoot once in church I was waving so hard I almost became a bat in full flight ... my wings were flapping and slapping me across the face in the process LOL ... and I saw them in full swing the first time I danced with Marcia at the OH Event in RYE NY in 2009 just a month before my brachio...


But back to my post .... I HAD A REALITY CHECK THIS MORNING WHEN I WAS POSTING TO MY EMPOWERMENT JOURNAL ... YUP MY DIGITAL JOURNAL ... THE PICTURE A DAY I ALWAYS GAB ABOUT... I WENT IN THERE AND SAW THIS PICTURE OF AL AND I WITH MY BIG BIG THIGHS AND DECIDED I HAVE COME A VERY LONG WAY ... FOR THIGHS THIS SIZE AND TRUST THEY WERE SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BIGGER ... I WAS ALREADY LOSING WEIGHT THERE...


To the collage I made today and the picture at the OH fashion show taken by the photographer with me in Marcia's hoses and not MY support hoses that really hold in my loose bits and pieces the way I wanna ... and me TODAY WITH MY SUPPORT HOSES ON ... and holding my loose thunder thighs just fine ...

So I figured why spend this cash in this economy right now on this want that is not a need? I mean the money has been set aside for that purpose only but I am a friggin chicken ... I really don't want to deal with cash, pain, drains, swelling, numbness and at the end of the day wind up not liking it like I do not like my modified brachio...

So I looked at my big legs ... and I have and will always have them ... big legs and butt ... no matter how much I slice ... it is my anatomy ... my DD told me my legs are rock solid ... my muscles are ... but when I sit without my hoses I look like a big jellyfish with loose skin spilling like water all out from under me... but I have to remember I am the queen of support hoses ... after all ... did I not share with you all my downside up pantyhose for the batwing control? months ago?


Well today I GOT A GRIP! CALLING AND NOT POSTPONING BUT CANCELING MY THIGHPLASTY AND KNEE LIFT FOR NEXT WEE****IL FURTHER NOTICE ... 

Today I came to work looking like this with my support hoses on ... packed knees and big thighs and butt in full control ... wearing an XS dress and I yanked all the blond hair pieces and extension out of my hair.... rocking a short do... this is me today...


and my do...

and a close up of your dufus sista...


AND IF THIS THREAD IS NOT GOOFY AND USELESS lol ... but I am thanking my digital journal ...A picture a day keeps the pounds and the inches at bay ... for helping me make up my mind ... and accepting myself ...big ears, tiny waist.. big butt...big thighs... A FRIGGIN BUMBLE BEE ... get a grip Martita... you are sooooooooooo awesomely weird LOL ... love ya!

Okay let me start by saying I love that short dark hair so much better then that long blond, it sat weird on your forehead I just didn't like it and you know I know a thing or two about wigs and weaves.  As for thunder thighs I know that one too, I wear two pair of tights to hold back the river of flesh if I want to wear anything remotely shorter.  I am scared to death of that leg surgery and feel like I have already had enough surgery that I will have to just live with my legs unless I hit the lottery or marry a plastic surgeon.  lol  You are amazing and beautiful and inspirational and with the right support hose no one is at all the wiser that your legs are anything other then perfect.  You rock!!!!

 Were you talking to my DD about my lace front? LOL she said the same thing ... 'mom, get that sh## off your forhead' LOL ... but I love my hair and as soon as I get sick of one do I rock the other LOL ...

RIVER OF FLESH... thats the perfect definition ... girl I was sitting all demurely minus my hose and looked to the side of me and wondered what the heck was that spilling all out from under me YIKES ... thank goodness for support hoses ...  and to think I run ... almost every day .... oh well ... SKIN ... I am leaving it be for now ...

I love to change up my hair too and I know you will be back to long soon also, I just think its the center part flat top thing I am not liking, not sure, but I know I will probably never see that one again anyway, on to the next one.  lol lol

As to the skin, it does sit like a puddle but atleast there are things you can do to contain it and keep it from breaking free and whacking small children in the face as they pass.  lol

I love the short hair on you.  It looks great, and it makes you look younger too.  You are rocking it! 

 I am loving your do too!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!! 

You look beautiful!  I pray I lose as even as you did...as for the short hair...not many women can pull that off and you certainly do!  

 I bet you will lose just as well or even better Paula ... sometimes posture/position helped a lot as a good concealer ... I used that a lot as a good remedy while dealing with my batwings before brachioplasty and I found LipoExpress.com and some awesome shaping/compression garments at the OH Conference in Rye NY in 2009 ... I bought 2 of those garments for the price of one at that conference and they helped a whole lot ... there are tons of other garments out there that help a lot with the loose skin ...but I love love love my support hoses more than all others for my saggy thigh/knee skin ... There are many good smoothing items out there that are quite comfortable and others not so much that we can use for the loose skin ... after all I figured if I can't/won't cut it at least I can tuck/hide it...LOL

I agree with Heidi, lovin your short-do.  If I was to do anything to fix my post-op body, it would be my own thighs, so I share your angst about that.  I kinda like the ghetto-booty I was lucky enough to maintain, although I'd like it lifted a wee bit higher.  I can live with my batwings, and my boobies are about the same as the women in my family that reached my age anyway.  I would really like to fix my thighs...one day when money and time come together.