XPOST Wednesday B*TCHFest: B*tch ahoy!

 





















For you NEW KIDS, HERE ARE THE RULES: 

"B*TCHFest"  is provided as a public service to those of us who have gripes and grievances but who (whom?), for whatever reason, lack a regular forum in which to air them. You are welcome to voice any problems - large or small, important, mundane or ridiculous -  that currently have your panties wadded, your shorts frosted and your gears ground. Don't hold them in and risk future medical issues, wrinkles and/or those pesky gray hairs.

ANY and ALL issues that are plaguing you are open for you to voice; there are no "sacred cows." They say that "feelings aren't facts", so if you're feeling it, it's legit to you. NO ONE is allowed to flame a poster for something he or she writes, however commiseration is not only welcomed but encouraged. Please, no personal attacks against other OH members (at least, not by name) and  ABSOLUTELY NO SURGERY WARS!

I'll start you off with a few gripes of mine, and you all can join in at any time! No limits - come back as many times as you like!

WARNING! Adult content ahead! Posts may (and probably will) contain "adult" content and language. I know that MINE will. Rated TV-MA.



Dear, delicious, Dunkin Donuts sausage, egg and cheese wrap: you usually agree with me, with your pleasant protein load, low carbs and your small size. Why did you pick today to misbehave? You've been sitting down in my tummy for almost 5 hours and you refuse to move along. GET GOING!

Why, when you order things on line, can't the vendor tell you whether or not they will be shipping via UPS? If I want my pkg to go to my PO Box (safest method) their computer should be able to TELL ME that I CAN'T whenI place the order, so I don't have to drive all over the county trying to figure out where the damned thing is!!

To the ******** who egged my door on Halloween: **** you. You think that's gonna make me WANT to give you candy next year? Nope. Maybe your get an ass full of BBs next Halloween. On the other hand, the eggs gave a a reason to finally scrub down my front door, which was getting a little grimy. But still **** you.

To the local TV station that has been referring to this week's unusual autumn snowfall a "winter storm" - it's not winter, you fucktards. The mere fact that it snowed does not make it winter. 

But...but...but... we had a winter storm watch and a winter storm warning...it MUST have been a winter storm right? Just a very, very, very confused one.

How much snow did you get?

My *****es...

1. Brrrrrrrrr - when will my body get used to the lack of insulation and relearn simple temperature regulation?

2. Achooooooooooo!

3. Took something for #2 and the de-snotting effect hasn't kicked in yet, but the "can I have a nap now?" side effect has.

4. My Kindle won't charge. How am I supposed to curl up and feel sorry for myself about #2 and #3 if my Kindle battery dies?

5. My iPhone doesn't need the excuse of not charging. It charges perfectly well - and needs it incredibly often.

Thanks. I feel better now.

 We got maybe an inch. MAYBE. Of SNOW, I mean.

Cut myself shaving this morning.  In a place you don't want to cut yourself.  Let's just say that everytime I pee it hurts like hell.

Errrr...... why were you shaving way in there ???

Love that hot zombie babe avatar. very cool

TG for *****fest. Here goes:

1. Friend who has been living with us for FREE for two solid months and has yet to give us a dime: whatever your impression of our financial situation is, we are not made of money nor does it grow on trees. We have two children, not three, thank you very much. Had we wanted a third child to support, we would have made one from things we have around the house. Henceforth, cough up some cash or get out. I happen to know you have turned down jobs. News flash: beggars can't be choosers.
The 'groceries' you occasionally bring in the house don't cut it. Captain Sugar Crunchy cereal, chips, and heart attack con queso are not food , so that doesn't help me feed anyone, which you should know, considering you have been enjoying my delicious and creative meals for some time now.
I have a ******g stack of medical bills two inches thick, despite have two insurances. I don't need to support you.
I never want to hear about how your wife does things. If she is so great, why aren't you living with her?
1a.  Your wife and children and dog descended on my home like a swarm of locusts. Your wife drank like a fish and hit on my husband. Your middle child posted snotty things on FB about staying here, and no one cleaned up after themselves. Hello wet towel on the carpet. Next time, Hotel 6 it. That way they can charge you for cleaning services.
2. Dear husband: this is YOUR friend. Why do I have to be the ***** Oh, that's right, because you don't want to bother. Okay, I will be the ***** Don't say I didn't warn you.
3.Employer: **** you. If I wanted to kiss ass 24/7, I would be working somewhere with much better pay.

     

 I, for the moment, have nothing to ***** about but wanted to say that I thoroghly enjoyed all the other *****ing.  Rock on!

 Hey, anyway I can help is okay with me! 

 Dear Evil Spawn that calls itself my son, I know you are two, you don't have to constantly prove it to me. I am your mother, not a slave that was put on earth to please you, and I don't care that you are under 3 feet tall, I will take you down if you scream in my face again just b/c you didn't get your way.