Not ONE! Not one SINGLE ONE ...
Not one.. Not one single one... Not one single itty bitty teeny baby, toddler or school grade one...
Not one feisty, funny, silly, monstery, heroey, fairy, witchy girl or boy
Not one parent with children in tow ...
Not one trick or treater in whats left of cold, ice and snow...
My street is quiet... sooooooooooo quiet and all the lights are on ... the neighbors, old farts like us are on the porch and on the decks awaiting the kids from the streets over to come... but not one single trick or treater came on this street of old farts like me... SIGH
IT IS DARK AND I DECIDE TO COME IN ... DD AND DS ARE OUT ... DH IS SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE WHERE I LEFT HIM WITH HIS FRIEND AND OUR NEIGHBOR BILL...
THEN ALL THE SUDDEN I HEAR A STRANGE RUSTLING IN THE BUSHES ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE ...WEIRD ... I SAW NO ONE GO BACK THERE ... THE RUSTLING COMES AGAIN AND THE HAIR STANDS UP ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD....
I WENT CHECKING IN THE DARK AND THE COLD AND THE DARN ICY GROUND...THE CLOSER I CAME THE MORE TO THE REAR OF THE HOUSE THE RUSTLING WAS HEARd... A FUNNY NOISE...rustle ..shhhhhhhhh....rustle ... WEIRD
THEN AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LOUD NOISE ... I SCREAMED AND ALMOST PEED MY PANTS ... TWO MEN A TALL HUSKY WAREWOLF AND A CYCLOPS JUMPED OUT AT ME FROM THE BACK OF THE HOUSE ...IN THE SHADOWS THEY LOOKED MENACING .... I RAN AND TRIPPED OVER MY PIGEON TOES IN THE WET GRASS AS THEY CAME AFTER ME ... THEY WERE MAKING WEIRD MENACING SOUNDS AND THERE WAS A CLAW-LIKE CLUB IN THE WARE-WOLF'S HAND ....they extended their arms as if to grab me... I SCREAMED AS I FELL...
I GOT UP QUICKLY... A MESS OF MUD AND SCRAPPED KNEES... NOW I AM SCARED SENSELESS AND FEELING THREATENED... I GRABBED THE SHOVEL LEFT ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE AND STARTED SWINGING WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND NOTICED THE MEN AS THEY STOPPED DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS ... I STARTED GOING AFTER THEM SWINGING AND SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAMING AND CALLING OUT FOR MY HUSBAND AL... THESE MENACING MEN WERE MOVING KIND OF SLOW AWAY FROM ME AND THEN TURNING AND GRABBING AT ME ... I WAS AFRAID THEY WERE BURGLARS FISHING FOR A WEAPON OR SOMETHING YET THEY WERE MOVING KIND OF SLOW ...
I NOTICED ONE OF THEM HAD A FUNNY SHUFFLE TO HIS GAIT AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF I WOULD TAKE THAT ONE ON FIRST WITH ONE GOOD WHACK OF THE SHOVEL THEN DO A FULL SWING AND TAKE THE TALLER ONE ON BY CLUBBING HIM ACROSS THE HEAD IF HE TRIED TO GRAB ME ...I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR A MINUTE I AM LIVING MY VERY OWN HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE IN MY OWN DAMNED YARD AND I AM SCREAMING AND NO ONE IS COMING TO HELP ME ... I CALLED ON MY PANAMANIAC INNER BIATCH AS I PULLED THE SHOVEL ALL THE WAY BACK AND GOT READY TO LEAP AND STRIKE JUST AS I HEARD THE VOICE OF MY HUSBAND COMING FROM BEHIND THE CYCLOPS AS HE PULLED HIS MASK OFF AND SAID "CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN BABE ITS ME ... ITS ME .Al ... IT IS US AL AND BILL" .. LAWD ... I ALMOST CLUBBED DUFUS AND REAL HARD TOO...AND SEVERED BILL'S HEAD IF I HAD MY WAY ... JEESUS PLEASUS ... CAN IT GET ANY BETTER??? AND BILL'S WIFE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON AND HER AND ALL THE NEIGHBORS NEXT DOOR AND IN FRONT HAD A GREAT LAUGH AT MY BEING TRICKED ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT ... I should have known that shuffle a mile away too ... now I need a sip of Chardonnay .. that **** scared me ... fer real ... gotta love 'em .... now I have to plan a comeback... I am going to get AL good ... but right now ... I have to recover...my nerves are shot...
Forgive the typos ... I can't check ... my hands and my eyes are jittery... I am in for the night... the real trick or treaters never came ... I had my basket of quarters ready...
And the real trick or treaters never came ... cause just a couple streets over it is dark and the crews are still out trying to restore the mess left in the wake of a winter storm in October when ALL the leaves are still on the trees ... and there is ice on the ground and it is brrrrrrrrrrrrrr COOOLLLDDDDDD... unseasonably so...and just a couple streets over ...the power ... is still..OUT ... go figure...
Not one feisty, funny, silly, monstery, heroey, fairy, witchy girl or boy
Not one parent with children in tow ...
Not one trick or treater in whats left of cold, ice and snow...
My street is quiet... sooooooooooo quiet and all the lights are on ... the neighbors, old farts like us are on the porch and on the decks awaiting the kids from the streets over to come... but not one single trick or treater came on this street of old farts like me... SIGH
IT IS DARK AND I DECIDE TO COME IN ... DD AND DS ARE OUT ... DH IS SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE WHERE I LEFT HIM WITH HIS FRIEND AND OUR NEIGHBOR BILL...
THEN ALL THE SUDDEN I HEAR A STRANGE RUSTLING IN THE BUSHES ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE ...WEIRD ... I SAW NO ONE GO BACK THERE ... THE RUSTLING COMES AGAIN AND THE HAIR STANDS UP ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD....
I WENT CHECKING IN THE DARK AND THE COLD AND THE DARN ICY GROUND...THE CLOSER I CAME THE MORE TO THE REAR OF THE HOUSE THE RUSTLING WAS HEARd... A FUNNY NOISE...rustle ..shhhhhhhhh....rustle ... WEIRD
THEN AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LOUD NOISE ... I SCREAMED AND ALMOST PEED MY PANTS ... TWO MEN A TALL HUSKY WAREWOLF AND A CYCLOPS JUMPED OUT AT ME FROM THE BACK OF THE HOUSE ...IN THE SHADOWS THEY LOOKED MENACING .... I RAN AND TRIPPED OVER MY PIGEON TOES IN THE WET GRASS AS THEY CAME AFTER ME ... THEY WERE MAKING WEIRD MENACING SOUNDS AND THERE WAS A CLAW-LIKE CLUB IN THE WARE-WOLF'S HAND ....they extended their arms as if to grab me... I SCREAMED AS I FELL...
I GOT UP QUICKLY... A MESS OF MUD AND SCRAPPED KNEES... NOW I AM SCARED SENSELESS AND FEELING THREATENED... I GRABBED THE SHOVEL LEFT ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE AND STARTED SWINGING WITH ALL MY MIGHT AND NOTICED THE MEN AS THEY STOPPED DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS ... I STARTED GOING AFTER THEM SWINGING AND SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAMING AND CALLING OUT FOR MY HUSBAND AL... THESE MENACING MEN WERE MOVING KIND OF SLOW AWAY FROM ME AND THEN TURNING AND GRABBING AT ME ... I WAS AFRAID THEY WERE BURGLARS FISHING FOR A WEAPON OR SOMETHING YET THEY WERE MOVING KIND OF SLOW ...
I NOTICED ONE OF THEM HAD A FUNNY SHUFFLE TO HIS GAIT AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF I WOULD TAKE THAT ONE ON FIRST WITH ONE GOOD WHACK OF THE SHOVEL THEN DO A FULL SWING AND TAKE THE TALLER ONE ON BY CLUBBING HIM ACROSS THE HEAD IF HE TRIED TO GRAB ME ...I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR A MINUTE I AM LIVING MY VERY OWN HALLOWEEN NIGHTMARE IN MY OWN DAMNED YARD AND I AM SCREAMING AND NO ONE IS COMING TO HELP ME ... I CALLED ON MY PANAMANIAC INNER BIATCH AS I PULLED THE SHOVEL ALL THE WAY BACK AND GOT READY TO LEAP AND STRIKE JUST AS I HEARD THE VOICE OF MY HUSBAND COMING FROM BEHIND THE CYCLOPS AS HE PULLED HIS MASK OFF AND SAID "CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN BABE ITS ME ... ITS ME .Al ... IT IS US AL AND BILL" .. LAWD ... I ALMOST CLUBBED DUFUS AND REAL HARD TOO...AND SEVERED BILL'S HEAD IF I HAD MY WAY ... JEESUS PLEASUS ... CAN IT GET ANY BETTER??? AND BILL'S WIFE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON AND HER AND ALL THE NEIGHBORS NEXT DOOR AND IN FRONT HAD A GREAT LAUGH AT MY BEING TRICKED ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT ... I should have known that shuffle a mile away too ... now I need a sip of Chardonnay .. that **** scared me ... fer real ... gotta love 'em .... now I have to plan a comeback... I am going to get AL good ... but right now ... I have to recover...my nerves are shot...
Forgive the typos ... I can't check ... my hands and my eyes are jittery... I am in for the night... the real trick or treaters never came ... I had my basket of quarters ready...
And the real trick or treaters never came ... cause just a couple streets over it is dark and the crews are still out trying to restore the mess left in the wake of a winter storm in October when ALL the leaves are still on the trees ... and there is ice on the ground and it is brrrrrrrrrrrrrr COOOLLLDDDDDD... unseasonably so...and just a couple streets over ...the power ... is still..OUT ... go figure...
RNY 2/5/07 no regain having implemented lifestyle changes....
That stinker got you good! Here are some prospective pranks to get him back:
1. Get a big bowl/pitcher of ice cold water. Pour it over the shower curtain when he is all soaped up. This KILLS my Boyf.
2. If you have a handheld sprayer on your kitchen sink, wrap a rubber band around it, so when he turns on the water he drenches himself. Gets my Mom everytime.
3. Drop his toothbrush in the toilet. Let him discover it in horror. He will have to go to work with fuzzy teeth and buy a new one. If you do this- hide yours, as retaliation is a *****
4. Slip him some ex-lax chocolate. This was done to me. I KNOW it's bad.
5. Take him snipe hunting. Google it.
Have fun with your revenge!
1. Get a big bowl/pitcher of ice cold water. Pour it over the shower curtain when he is all soaped up. This KILLS my Boyf.
2. If you have a handheld sprayer on your kitchen sink, wrap a rubber band around it, so when he turns on the water he drenches himself. Gets my Mom everytime.
3. Drop his toothbrush in the toilet. Let him discover it in horror. He will have to go to work with fuzzy teeth and buy a new one. If you do this- hide yours, as retaliation is a *****
4. Slip him some ex-lax chocolate. This was done to me. I KNOW it's bad.
5. Take him snipe hunting. Google it.
Have fun with your revenge!
Kristen
"Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation." - Walter Cronkite
"Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation." - Walter Cronkite
LOL ... too funny ... but I am not a practical joker though ... I have to strategize.... I think I may have had this one coming LOL although they did it again later on when my son came home and they got him real good LOL ...
About a year ago I added another ferret to my litter by just slipping him into the pen and not saying anything ... kind of just snuck him in there because I had not planned on getting another but I just could not resist the little critter that called my name when I went into the pet club to get some food for the others already at home. My DH was perplexed ... the little buggers were busy climbing and running and romping in and out of their toys and tunnels and DH was seriously trying to count and could not figure out what was going on LOL ... it took him a few days to figure out that our ferret family had grown .... and I was not even joking or pulling a prank ... I was just sneaking another ferret into my litter LOL... which was easy ...
About a year ago I added another ferret to my litter by just slipping him into the pen and not saying anything ... kind of just snuck him in there because I had not planned on getting another but I just could not resist the little critter that called my name when I went into the pet club to get some food for the others already at home. My DH was perplexed ... the little buggers were busy climbing and running and romping in and out of their toys and tunnels and DH was seriously trying to count and could not figure out what was going on LOL ... it took him a few days to figure out that our ferret family had grown .... and I was not even joking or pulling a prank ... I was just sneaking another ferret into my litter LOL... which was easy ...
RNY 2/5/07 no regain having implemented lifestyle changes....
My heart was in my hand .. and I was not thinking straight ... I should have at least recognized my DH from his gait... but then he never dresses up for Halloween ... they planned this and got the costumes on sale when they were out earlier together LOL ... they got me good ... really good ... I am still strategizing my payback LOL
RNY 2/5/07 no regain having implemented lifestyle changes....
We didn't get any Trick or Treaters either. I didn't buy a lot of candy though, so it wasn't a big waste.
The kids have compared notes and figured out the best neighborhood is the one next to ours by the elementary school. My stepdaughters went there and came home with two BIG bags of candy. Full-size candy bars, mini bars, pretzels and (OMG) Smarties.
I've got to get them out of my house! One of my co-workers is putting together a care package for her son's army unit. We'll definitely be contributing to it.
Most Active
Recent Topics
