Part One of a Three Part Question. (Read this first.)

Don't drop the charges and let the prosecutor know the P.D. called you.  Actions must have consequences. 

Could you go after him in civil court because of your out of pocket expenses (new car?)  He ruined his own future when he chose to drive without insurance and left the scene.  Geezuz he could have killed your hubby.  I'd go after him with everything at my disposal.

What *exactly* has he been charged with?

In my jurisdiction where I prosecute there are two tiers of traffic related charges, there are criminal offences like drunk driving and dangerous driving that will result in a criminal conviction and possible jail time plus fines.

There is also a lesser tier of charges known as regulatory offences - these offences carry a record, but it is not permanent (usually lasts 3 years) and the conviction is on your drivers abstract rather than being a criminal record. This type of record will impact on your insurance, will impact your ability to get a job that involves driving and may involve a temporary suspension of your license. These charges also carry 'demerit points' against your license and fines up to $2000.

Males don't finish development in the part of the brain that assists with impulse control and long-term decision making until they are in their mid 20s. I'm not saying this excuses his behaviour, but it gives some context about how he could have made a bad decision, and now feels remorse for his actions. This is part of why courts are not so hard on young people, because it is expected that they do not have the same ability and experience in making well thought out, long-term decisions.

I think it is overkill to saddle a young person with a criminal record over fleeing the scene of an accident, if there is no other criminal element involved (meaning, the car was not stolen and he was not using drugs or alcohol at the time of the accident) and where no one was injured - this seems to be the case in your situation. A criminal record will make it difficult for him to have a normal life and is more likely to lead to more criminal offending. That said, I also don't think that he should be able to just walk away with no repurcussions.

I would approach the prosecutor for the case and see if there are alternative charges that might be pursued in this case as a plea deal, something of a traffic/regulatory nature rather than a criminal charge. I believe this is a reasonable compromise for all involved.

Males don't finish development in the part of the brain that assists with impulse control and long-term decision making until they are in their mid 20s. I'm not saying this excuses his behaviour, but it gives some context about how he could have made a bad decision, and now feels remorse for his actions. This is part of why courts are not so hard on young people, because it is expected that they do not have the same ability and experience in making well thought out, long-term decisions.


I had someone recently tell me that a 24 year old man that shook a 2 year old so hard that she had a brain bleed and died, that the man was not responsible, and gave me the above argument.

I am not familiar with the studies on this but I have raised 2 sons, a grandson and somone else's son and their decision making process and impulse control were well developed by the time they were 18-20.  They all knew the difference between right and wrong and knew that any decision they made had a consequence.

I guess I should look up the studies before I totally disagree but right now I'm not buying it.  I have a 12 year old grandson that would not shake a baby and would call for help if left with a baby that was crying or whatever.  He has pretty good impulse control right now and I suspect it will also be well developed by the time he is 18.

It's something that has been well understood about neurobiology for over 5 years now, I can cite some studies I am familiar with but unfortunately I don't have access to the full articles. Basically it's a change in the idea that at age 18 that people are suddenly fully adult in thier thinking and decision making and should be as capable as a 40 year old in making decisions that weigh long-term consequences. The things is, adolescence, as far as brain development is involved, stretches well into the 20s, typically later for guys and earlier for girls. There are physiological changes in the brain that can be observed that are related to impulse control. This can be further affected by mental disorders, being born pre-term, changes in hormones and neuro transmitters, or any number of other factors both genetic and environmental. Please note that I'm not saying that youth should be something that completely forgives what has happened, but it should be considered as a mitigating factor, something that makes his actions more understandable and less culpable than someone who is older and wiser. There are reasons why we have separate courts for young offenders and why first time offenders are given more opportunity for diversion and court alternatives and lighter sentences.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1196/annals.1440.010/full

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959438807000414

Hmmm.  Interesting questions. 

Why would a public defender be calling you?  Was it you that put the charges there?  I suspect not.  Did the proscecutor tell them to contact you?

 If you consider dropping the charges, I would meet the "kid" before doing so in order to make my own decision about whether he made a terrible mistake or has been charming the PD.

Did I miss the part about an apology and financial compensation to you?

But, that's just me.  


tee

 I used to be a Probation/Parole Officer, and this PD is just doing what all defense attorneys do.  She is trying to get her client off ...period.  AND ...if you drop the charges, she doesn't even have to do anything -- the case is gone.

I was an officer who handled felony probationers (ya kow? rape, murder, meth labs etc), and I can't count how many times PDs would call me and feed me the "awww come on, please drop/lower the violation charges or the violation warrant, s/he is a good kid...s/he just ...(insert excuse here)...do ya really want to put him/her back in jail?"

25 is by no means too young to know that when ya hit a car all you have to do is stop and exchange insurance information.  He wasn't "too scared" there's some other reason he didn't stop.  And yeah -- maybe this is the first time it's happened, maybe not -- we can't know b/c perhaps the last people dropped the charges, too.  I think he should have a criminal record ... that's what happens when you break the law - that's why we keep track of these things.

Short answer.... "absolutely not" would I drop charges sight unseen. Let the lawyers and insurance companies handle this. You were wronged, NOT him.

At 25, he's a man. A rather stupid man, but NOT a child. He totals your car, takes off and then only after he is caught does he become a "nice, clean, but scared KID?" according to the PD? Um, Nah. Press charges, or he'll be more likely to do the same thing again. Having just gone through something similar but nobody was caught. Our insurance is going up, our car had to go into the shop for repairs for a week. So sorry, not likely to be real generous in a case like this.

He wouldn't have to worry about criminal charges if he hadn't run--and 25 years old isn't a kid. I wonder how many other times he has done this?
The public defender had no right to contact you--that is just his lawyer, paid for by your taxes. Have you told the prosecutor?