Do Americans Hate Fat People? Fight Prejudice Against the Overweight

This week, September 26 – 30, marks the first-ever “Weight Stigma Awareness Week." It is sponsored by the Binge Eating Disorder Association, itself one of several new groups focused on eating disorders. The awareness drive arrives as the nation jiggles with fat. With over a third of adult Americans now weighing in as obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, attitudes toward obesity are rapidly changing.

There seems little question that obese people face plenty of prejudice. Weight discrimination in the U.S. skyrocketed by two thirds over the past decade, according to the medical journal Obesity. Weight bias abounds in the workplace, doctors’ offices, and schools, researchers found.

Many Americans think fat people “are lazy, unmotivated, lacking in self-discipline, less competent . . . and sloppy," write Yale researchers Rebecca M. Puhl and Chelsea A. Heuer. “These stereotypes are rarely challenged," they add.

At my weight clinic, I ask around about this. Turns out, everyone has a story to tell.

•    One woman recalls a recent meeting about a major deadline at her office. The boss turned to a severely overweight worker. "It will be good for you to collect everyone’s work," the boss said. “All that walking will allow you to work off some of those extra pounds!"  To the overweight worker, it was a public shaming. She was distraught, and eventually filed a discrimination grievance.

•    A man recalls a scene at his rheumatologist’s office. He has worked hard, over the past 18 months, to drop 60 pounds.  But at 323 pounds, he still has a long way to go. However, his body has stubbornly refused to drop more weight for the past six months. (Such a pattern is not uncommon, clinic doctors report.  Sixty pounds is a big drop, and the body—not to mention the brain—needs time to adjust.) Although the man was happy he hadn't regained any of the lost weight, his rheumatologist was upset. "He looked furious. Gave me the hairy eyeball, furrowed his brow, and made me feel like the biggest failure ever," the man says. "He yelled at me. ‘You’ve just got to get more weight off!" he adds. “I was half in shock. I felt like saying, 'Hey, you're a medical professional. How can you be saying this to me!’ Surely he has an inkling of how hard this is!" Click here for tips on combating fat prejudice in health settings.

•    Another patient mentions the balance scales often used in doctor’s offices. Most only calculate weights up to 250 pounds. "Do you know how embarrassing it is, if you outweigh the scale?" the patient asks.

I have strong memories of my mother and brother hiding food from me as I was growing up. "Don’t leave it where she can find it!" they’d say. "She’ll eat it all!" Although my family meant to "help" me stay away from fattening foods, the hiding made me feel illegitimate. I felt as if I "didn’t deserve" the foods that others were allowed to eat; as if I were the family vampire—somehow defective, inferior.

I recall a conversation with my ob-gyn several years ago. "Are you trying to commit suicide by gaining all this weight?" she wanted to know. The question, kindly meant, made me feel sick.

It’s true that the agonies I’ve gone through attempting to lose weight have made me cry on many occasions. There has been, as the Bible sometimes puts it, “much gnashing of teeth," and even tearing of hair. But honestly, suicide is has never been an objective of mine.

What is true is that losing weight has been murderously hard. What’s true is that, if weight loss could be attained by strength of effort and willpower, I would have been rail thin 40 years ago. What is true is that obesity in America has managed to defy the best efforts of our $59.7-billion diet industry, and a growing army of medical and public-health professionals.

What is true is that weight is an emotionally freighted subject. Fat people tend to be emotionally fragile. Even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to devastate someone with an insensitive joke or an offhand comment.

If you want to help a fat person, try being encouraging. A large body almost never means that a person is lazy or lacks the “willpower" to lose weight. A large body means that something within is out of whack. Click here for Fitbie’s suggestions on combating weight stigma.

“If I lose weight, how will people know how that I am in pain?" So lamented a patient to Deannie Jennings, director of the clinical programs at my weight clinic. Deannie repeats the lament often, because it seems to express a message often sent by what she calls the “language of obesity."  Inside the fat, someone is probably in pain, and in a morbidly obese person, the pain may be close to intolerable. So, the next time you see an obese person, try offering compassion. Who knew? We fat people have feelings, too.

Have you ever experienced weight stigma, or seen such prejudice in action? I’d love to hear your stories! If you keep a blog, help fight weight prejudice with a post for the Weight Stigma Blog Carnival on Wednesday!

Most of us have felt some kind of reaction from other people to our heavier weight. I just couldn't believe the way some of the medical professionals acted.

It's ironic that medical students are taught: "Do no harm."

I think many cultures have a prejudice against obesity, and I certainly felt ashamed when I was heavy. I have traveled all over the world, and often I was the only overweight person in sight and got stared at. Americans truly are an obese society.

I know some people manage a healthy self esteem when they are fat, but it wasn't me. My family is especially prejudiced, and routinely have made me feel miserable. But then, now that I'm a size 2, some of them still like to criticize me. Whatever floats their boat.

Thanks for the heads up- awareness of the problem helps, and I liked Fitbie"s suggestions.

I have heard that Fat prejudice is the last acceptable prejudice and I believe it. America should open its eyes, we have an ever growing obesity rate, child obesity has become a growing epidemic, so to America i'd say people in glass houses should not throw stones.

When I got married my Maid of Honor was morbidly obese, the woman at the bridal shop was appalled that I would even consider her, she acted like I had shown up with a goat or something more ridiculous than that for my bridal party. She even said "Remember honey, your going to have these pictures forever." Oh so ok, let me go find a skinny woman who looks better in pics off the street for pictures?? WTF?

Needless to say I did not give that Bridal shop anymore business.

These are all very familiar scenarios in my life.  Unfortunately, "Fat Hatred" is not confined to
the USA.  I've traveled to other countries and have gotten the same mocking glances and
obnoxious comments as I've heard here.  It is not just here.

I'm sure some of our brothers and sisters from the UK, for instance, would be able to affirm
this.  After all, there was a very popular program on BBC called "You Are What You Eat" which
made entire shows out of putting food consumption under a microscope.  Yes, Fat Phobia
is alive and well all over the world.

Not to be mean and I hope no one takes this the wrong way because I don't want to sound mean or nasty.  But I find it so ironic: Fat people hating fat people.  I think half of America is considered overweight.  How can you be overweight and tell someone else they are overweight. I was one of the lucky ones.  No one but two family members ever said anything to me.  Heck, I'm still considered overweight according to their height/weight chart. lol  I have always been the one who never cared what people thought about me.  I think people need to be educated.  It doesn't matter if your overweight or underweight, there is underline issues somewhere.  Everyone has feelings and everyone should think of other people.  Yet, I've always been told that the ones who make fun of people or make hateful remarks are just trying to boost themselves up.   I know this may be wrong and please don't take it the wrong way.  After I lost my weight and still had to go see my doctor, I felt so out of place.  All these people in there either just had the surgery or was wanting it.  It wasn't like shame on them or anything.  It was more like shame on me for taking the time away from someone who needs his help.  Both sides of my family are heavy.  It breaks my heart because I know some have issues and some will tell you they like to eat.  lol  But boy, they are active.  You can hardly get time with them. 

 I can't even begin to tell you how weight has effected my life in relationships. The most recent problem I had was a month ago, my brother got married. My brother told me and my sister by telling us we each had to lose a hundred pounds in a year because we had a wedding to be in. A month later the bride decided that me and my sister were not allowed to be in the wedding because we were too fat and she knew we wouldn't be able to drop the weight and she didn't want fat bridesmaids. The kicker of it all is that when the bride tried to deny what she said, she told us that it wasn't because of our weight and then continued to tell us that she already had a fat bridesmaid. The humerous part of it was that the "fat" bridesmaid was a size 10. And with me being a size 24, as you can figure, I was pretty upset. 

Growing up big was never easy. I remember gym class in 8th grade. It was the first day of swimming class and I remember having these swimsuits we had to wear. It was just a one piece bathing suite, but I was the only big girl in the class. I just remember the boys and girls whispering to eachother and pointing at me. From then on out, I made excuse after excuse not to go in the pool. When I finally told the teacher what was going on, he just laughed and said maybe it was good for me to know what people really thought of me.

 
Another recent story of mine is from about 6 months ago. I had applied for a ton of different jobs and at the time I had enough confidence to do something out of my norm. So I applied for a job near the Canadian boarder in MN. It was for a summer bartending job. I had got the job, but when I got there, it was nothing like the advertised craigslist posting. (My suggestion, find jobs elsewhere.) But after about two days of working there, I quickly realized that my size was not welcome there. The closest grocery store was an hour and a half away. And the only gas stations were ones at bars along the way. But while I was there, the locals quickly started commenting on my weight. I had one guy come into the bar one day and as I was serving food to some people, I passed by him, to which he said "maybe you should be serving the food and not eating it." As I served him his second drink, he kept commenting on how the floor is old and it can't support heavy people like me. The only people that didn't comment on my weight were the vacationers. I had been up there 5 days.  The days I didn't work I was in my room sleeping and distancing myself from everyone. On the 5th day, I finally had enough and told the manager I was leaving. As I explained why, he told me that I should have told him I was overweight when I applied for the job. He told me that he wouldn't have given me the job and put me through that if I had. I was so appauled with everything. I speed out of there so quickly. 

I have tons and tons of other stories, but those are the most recent/memorable ones. I grew up around obese people so for me, I never understood why people discriminated against others in that way or anyway for that matter. 

We have all endured many a humiliation over our size, I have 47 years worth of stories I could tell but the fact is that it is like that in other countries too.  I went to Brazil in 1987 and I was the largest person everywhere I went, they stopped, pointed, made rude comments, laughed.  It's the same everywhere.

I did make a discovery though that is worth mentioning. When I went back in 2006, there were morbidly obese people every where in Brazil!  I sure wasn't alone that time. When i drove from the airport to my ex's sister's house all I saw was McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, and pizza shops every where!  In the grocery stores, huge frozen/processed food aisles now... none of that was there before.  So, I guess I have never seen a stronger example of how it happens.

One great thing on my second visit there...
They have drunk driving laws now too thank God.

I don't know which is worse; staring or ignoring.
I have been treated as if I am completely invisible when waiting for assistance in many places of business, especially in a social environment. I don't understand why some people mistreat others and act as if someone is completely nonexistent. It's as if we're all on an American Idol stage with every other person being a judge and deciding whether or not we deserve to be accepted as another human being or overlooked because of our size.

I have often longed for an organization to support those of us who are metabolism-challenged; I know Oprah and other news shows have raised awareness with features, but what has anyone actually done to help those of us who do not fall into the Barbie Doll category?