Who are you?

On the DS board, someone questioned the wisdom of using her real name online.  I sent her a PM with a photo of the front of her house. I don't know what her response will be, but I'll send her a link here.

Thing is, you don't REALLY have to post your full name to be "findable."  I know this for a variety of reasons, one of which is that I have "an admirer" who will not, after 40 freaking years, just leave me alone or drop dead.  And I know it because I have a lot of cops and lawyers and even a couple of judges in the family...so I hear stories.

On boards like this one, we tend to get comfortable...or even cranky.  We keep giving out "clues" as to who we are.  If someone is looking for you...and you don't mention any more than your first name, you may think that you haven't told people who you are.  But that is not the case.  You may be mouthing off at people who you think cannot find you...and THAT is likely not the case.  You may think that people here are NOT above taking that information--and it IS public information, because, in many cases, you made it so--and stepping over a line and contacting you or your boss or your spouse or your kids.  Armed with info from here, they can even find previous legal problems and your old bankruptcy case and your old traffic ticket.  Some of the people who find those things will just snicker.  Some may be an entire bubble off plumb and you may find one of them in your driveway.  You just never know.

You may have told people about where you live...your surgeon's location may be all they need.  You may have identified a popular location NEAR your home in casual conversation.  You may have mentioned a professional license or certification or credential and armed with that...and the name of your state...people can find your address.  You may  have "played" some innocent game about what your "hooker name" would be...and given anyone who is interested the name of your street.  Many, many more examples can be found, but that would take HOURS.

Deal is, some people don't mind using their real names and having anyone *****ads on this site know where to find them.  Others do.  If you fall into the latter group, do not assume you are here anonymously...most of us are not.  Unfortunately.

Sue

Good post. Sorry you have to deal with a wing nut in your own life.

Thank you for posting this as it really made me stop and think!

Another friend of mine, whose son is a police officer, spoke to me recently about removing my date of birth year from Facebook as well, and explained the reasoning.

I think you're right.  Some of us are just way too trusting and, sadly, may not even realize it until something like what you've been dealing with happens... 

I am the Ghost who walks....well limps like a gimp after the gym yesterday.

If anyone bothers you let me know and I'll batter the ******s.

I have given out lots of personal details in the time since I've been here. I just don't give **** if people use them against me but I do go ballistic if I see stuff used against other people.  Does that seem ******g daft?

Recently I sucked it up and posted pics of my hideous flappy, skinny, wrinkly post weight loss body.  I thought long and hard about that and decided it was worth the hassle.  Preop I really wanted to understand the extent of skin laxity I'd be left with but only had doctored plastic surgery web site pics to go on.  I was a bottom and thigh heavey woman pre op. I found limited pics even here.  I hope that whomever sees those dodgy pics gets the information they need to make an informed decision on surgery.  In retrospect I'm pleased with my results even though I am a mess under my clothes.  I wish I'd had the presence of mind to plan in plastic surgery when taking out my loan but we live and learn.

Around here and on all forums you need to be aware of how precarious your situation may be as you've shown Sue. Scumbags like me don't have much to lose in being transparent but I applaud you for flagging this issue. I hope everone does a bit of a risk assessment in relation to this.

I haven't been very careful so I bought a shotgun and a Rottweiler.

I am also in the process of getting a concealed weapons permit and I live with a cop.

Too little, too late??

I wouldn't spill your pint!

I alughed out loud at this one, but---

while it probably does protect you physically, it won't help people who want to screw with you on-linr. It amazes me when people post their credentials, etc.---things that can help stalkers locate their professional ties and potentially use it to scrrew them over.

I am not an axe murderer or even a stalker, but someone mentioned that she was a teacher in my area so I checked out her credentials on the public license site (which also gives her full name)and she got all freaked out and blocked me. Very easy to find info on professionals.

Also, some of the behaviours of people in all fields on these boards is deplorable but medical and educational professionals using crass language and giving incorrect advice based only on their opinion (backed by poor attitude) really makes me hope they won't be responsible for my care irl.

.

 I did this and I'm really boring. . . sad really.  I did find out that there are a lot more people out there with my full name than I would have guessed.