Communicating with Doctors (and when it's okay to kill your husband.)

If it would make you feel even slightly better... I would 100 % support you in killing your husband.

Well, this was an argument in my house in the past year. My husband became ill and required multiple doc appts with different specialities. I INSISTed on going and I brought up things I had researched on my own. Hubby had a hissy fit that I didn't trust him. I told him it was I was interested in it and I would have loved for him to have given a **** about any of my doc appts, including when I did my pre op here for an out of country weightloss surgery. He said he trusted my decision and that I don't trust him

We had it out, I cried. He lets me go to appts and I trust him most of the time. lol.

NOt sure if we handled it well or not. For the record that was the only time I've ever cried in an argument. That is how rarely we argue.

But we must be on good terms, he makes the appts in the afternoons when I can do.

I think there is a genetic defect in the missing part of the Y chromosome.  Some men are able to overcome it, and some women have it anyway, but it is a frequent disability in men, and marriage seems to make it worse.

I have worked my way around SOME of these issues by calling my husband's doctors' offices and leaving messages about his situation and asking them to call DH.  For example, he never went to physical therapy after he broke his hip last year - insisted working on remodeling the house was therapy enough.  :eyeroll:  But he still can't walk nearly as fast as I can, and if he walks for very long, his hip hurts.  And then he was complaining that his hip was aching even at other times.  So I called his orthopedic surgeon's office and told his assistant that DH was having pain, and wouldn't admit it, so could the surgeon call him and ask him how he was doing, since it was about a year after surgery - pretend it was routine to call after a year? 

The good news - the surgeon called.  The bad news? DH denied being in "that much" pain, and the surgeon said well, maybe that's as good as it's going to get.  BUT - when my daughter decided to bail on her agreement to work out at the Y with me, I talked DH into taking over her membership, and now we're going to the gym together 3 times a week, and he's working out with a trainer to strengthen his hip.  Baby steps.

His yearly checkup?  He thinks his doctor's office calls him when it's time.  Nope, I call the doctor's office and tell THEM it's time to call him to make his yearly checkup appointment.  And the last time, I went to the appointment with him, and he ended up getting a pneumonia vaccination and booster DPT that I'm sure would NOT have happened if I hadn't asked if he was up-to-date on them.

He has had skin cancer.  I handle making sure he gets THOSE checkups by making our yearly mole patrol appointments at the same time, so I can point out funky spots on him, and he can tell the doctor about any spots on my back where I can't see them.  He sees it as getting revenge on me - I don't care, of course, and our dermatologist thinks we're a comedy team.

I'm still working on getting him back to an orthopod to look at his bone-on-bone knees, and his reconstructed wrist that he was told 18 years ago would only last about 8 years before he needed a fusion.  He doesn't want to hear that he needs surgery - so he gets around it by not going to the doctor.  Getting him to take NSAIDs for the pain - AND the inflammation that is making it worse?  Hah.

I have to pick my battles.

When my 17 year old daughter was little, she would look at her older brothers and say, "Boys are stupid.".     I couldn't agree more       

No one has answered the second part of your question.  I believe it is alway okay to kill the husband.  J/K  I've been married for 30 years and understand completely.  I had the same issues with hubby at a orthopedic doctor's office.  He would answer then I would tell the doctor the truth (or what my husband left out).  It got to the point that the doc would just look at me for the answer because hubby's answers were so full of b/s that the doc wanted the truth from me.

It used to be that the doc would ask a question and my husband would look at me like I had all the answers. Turns out I did have all the answers and now his doc just asks me directly. He'd never tell the whole truth. Not because he is lying but because that is how he thinks it really is.

I think that permission to kill your husband should be included in the wedding vows.

It is the fact that they know you can't kill them that makes them so difficult.