Communicating with Doctors (and when it's okay to kill your husband.)

When you talk to your doctor, take someone along who WILL interrupt you if you prove yourself to be full of **** when said doctor asks questions.  Case in point...

Went to the ortho dude yesterday with my spouse, who has one of the most screwed up spines owned by an ambulatory person. 

Doctor:  How long can you stand still before it hurts?
Hubby:  About twenty minutes.
Me:  Less than ten minutes.
Hubby:  No, I'm good for about 20 minutes.
Doctor (to me):  It's really hard for any of us to judge another person's pain.
Me:  Fine.  But...although he doesn't MEAN to, he is giving you inaccurate info.  But the correction can wait until the next appointment.
Hubby:  Yeah...about 20 minutes.
Doctor:  That's not a lot worse than last time, so...good.


Later that evening...
Me:  Hey!  You said you missed the opening of Two and a Half Men and I've got it on my screen right now...wanna see it?
Hubby:  Sure.
Me (four minutes later):  You look uncomfortable, here, sit in my chair.
Hubby:  Yeah, a little  Thanks.

Four minutes.

Four minutes without pain is different than 20 minutes without pain.  In his defense, he maxes out in a grocery store at 20 minutes, but he walks around during that time.  But for standing still, he gets nowhere NEAR twenty minutes.


Lesson...when we have impairments, we accommodate and then forget about them.  When we weigh 300 pounds we learn to immediately look for tables instead of booths...and if someone asks if we are having trouble getting out and about, we say we are not.  But we are not because we have made an accommodation and no longer think about it.

When you go to see a doctor, take someone who will interrupt you and tell the doctor what behavior you are displaying.  It could be very important.

AMEN SISTER TRANSLATOR!

I have to do the same. He gives me "the look" and then I look at the doc and say, "He turns mean when it starts, so 10 minutes. Another 20 later and THEN the pain is so bad he can't catch it."

SIGH

Men. They have to be so brave. Even in the face of a non-existent knee set up (only hurts sometimes), but of course, doesn't support at all!, the broken ribs from Knoxville (6/1), still hurt. Neck damage from last Sept. He just stopped doing PT, so that hurt less, but now neck doesn't turn.

Don't GET me started.

Wait til you take ME to your doc appt! I just went with someone who is not well spoken on a good day, doesn't hear or interpret questions correctly, so I had to jump in and translate everything.

You say, " Do you want lunch now or in an hour?" "She says, Ham please and I lost 286.4 lbs and kept it off!"

Yeah, so you know in talking to me, almost impossible to keep me on target imagine ME being the one to have to do it! LOL

We need a "Loved One's Translator Club"

 you are so right. 
my DH is exactly the same. His motto is "Never admit anything"

 Well said!  

 My hubby is the same way too!

 Well, I'm one of those people too, so I don't think it's entirely gender related.  I have so many questions in my head when I go to the doc, but when I get there, it's like a TOTAL brain freeze, and I can't remember anything, or I don't want to seem like a wimp.  I used to have a VERY difficult time taking some nerve meds for severe anxiety, because to ME, I felt like I needed to "woman" up and deal with it.  

When I began the process of getting the DS, I called on my most opinionated loud mouthed friend to be my "surgery" buddy.  She understands my problems with short term memory and the anxiety I have, so she just speaks on out while I'm sitting there going hmmmmm....welll......LOL  I can get vocal when provoked however..........then she knows to let me run......

I've spent a lot of time sitting behind a pateint vigoroulsy shaking my head no or yes in opposition to what the patient was saying only to have the doctor totally ignore me.  I've taken myself into the hallway to intercept the doctor on more than one occasion to "clarify" what the patient said that was not only wrong but WAY wrong.

Never met a single doctor who listened to a damn word I said.

I hate doctors.

I also wish I had someone who cared enough about me to go with me to a doctor and make sure I don't lie/confabulate/exaggerate.  But I don't.

Great post.

~Becky

My mom does this. She's had COPD for close to six years now, and on oxygen 24/7 for about five years. She's gone from being able to walk my legs off to riding a scooter at Wal-mart, but at her last pulmonologists' appointment she said, and I quote "I can do anything I could six years ago." This was on the Monday AFTER she told me she didn't go to church the day before because she just couldn't walk up the drive from the parking lot.

I understand fully. My hubbie went in for his usual diabetic check and when his A1C was high the doctor began to quiz him, he, he, he. Of course he got his exercise (20 min. walk every 2-3 weeks), yes he monitors his blood sugar and takes his insulin properly (don't get me started there), no he rarely ever eats anything that is not approved. When I objected to that he told the doctor "I only eat what she fixes". WTH! I fix one meal a day and frequently he adds things, he refuses to lower his carbs and will not allow me to switch him to whole grains. The meals I don't fix and his snacks? Unreal. I wanted to kill him right then and there. This was 3 months ago and I still spit and sputter.

My dh is probably the worst historian I have ever seen and that includes alzheimers patients! I feel as if I have to go to all his appointments and most times I would rather stay home. If I don't go he will have not gotten something important and the doctor is acting on a fairy tale. It helps to know I am not the only one. Go ahead and kill if needed. I will vouch for you.

I had to be the one to translate for the doc when my husband was sent in about his sleep disorder.

The doc would ask a question, DH would disavow any knowledge, and I'd fill the doc in. Consensus? He has narcolepsy. Thanks to my recitation of his symptoms (and those of his family members) he was given a sleep study, which proved it beyond a doubt.

So yes, always bring the person who knows what the hell is going on!

In my house my husband is the one who has to be there to be sure that the doctors get the correct information about me.  But, the difference between me and your husband is that I KNOW to listen to my spouse about stuff like this.  Everyone involved knows this, me, my husband, my doctors, the nurses, the reception staff. 

I just do not pay enough attention to the stuff I do, I guess.  (I think people like me and your husband are VERY lazy... and, we have a touch of A.D.D.)

If you are like me,



take someone like my husband with you
...