WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE FAILING PRE-OP

Good for you doing the weight loss on your own, especially so much! I'm impressed- that has been tremendous work on your part!

As you were told 3+ months ago, you do NOT have to do any pre-op dieting to get WLS.  Your surgeon's requirements are outside of the standard of care for bariatric patients.  FIND ANOTHER SURGEON.  And while you're at it, you should be looking at the DS, in particular because you are SMO, older and African American - you already have 3 strikes against you for being able to succeed with a lesser surgery.

AND you live in CA, where insurance companies can't force you to lose weight pre-op either.

Your failure to lose weight pre-op is not your personal failure - it is a medical condition.  But until and unless you do something about finding another surgeon/surgery, the odds are that you are going to continue to fail.

I'm working on losing some regained weight and it's only coming off like a half pound at a time.  I will reach goal eventually. 

If you are losing at all you are not failing!   Please don't put that label on yourself. 

When you have your surgery, the rest of the weight will come off so fast you'll be amazed.  Focus on doing the best you can right now.  No one on this message board is perfect.  We all struggle with something.

I'm struggling pre-op to change my bad eating habits.  I try not to be too hard on myself since tons of self criticism tends to lead to more overeating for me.  I keep reminding myself, "progress, not perfection".  The fact that I am gaining more mindfulness over what I eat and what my bad eating behaviours are is a good step in the right direction.  I'm not sure if I will get approved for surgery given the current state of my eating behaviours.  I'm still eating junk food sometimes, I still eat some evenings after dinner just to relax and unwind. 

What's your definition of "failing"? Have you given up trying? If not, you haven't failed anything. You know what's more important right now than losing weight  is learning, and identifying reasons why you over eat what your emotional triggers are. If you can start making some small changes, then do that. Even if it's something as small as cutting down soda, or cutting down fast food, or taking a 15 min walk in the evenings then you've made positive change.


Honestly, not gaining weight is a huge win in my  book. A lot of this process is mental. Re-frame what you consider "failure" and "sucess" and you might feel a little more motivated because from where I sit, you are a success.

You can do this. You are a strong person, you just have to believe that.

To paraphrase Rocky in the movie "Rocky Balboa": " It's not how many times you get knocked down,   it's about how many times you get back up and continue fighting."

And according to my friend Stephanie S., :"Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt, and never say it's your last attempt until you have succeeded!"

VERY WELL SAID...... I will be continuing my fight even if I never get surgery. I have not been able to reach the marks I have wanted to be at as of this date.

"Apollo 13":  "Failure is not an option."  (sorry,  my son and I are big, big  movie buffs) 
You WILL succeed, you know that right?  You know the problem of boredom. That's a big step in moving forward. My problem was my horrible eating habits.(still is at times- I'm still learning 2 years after my rny)
For every slip up isn't failure.  It's a  learning experience that will help you to learn how to handle a situation, a particular food, etc.  You know the routine.  You WILL get there because you haven't given up on your dream.

 I LOVE Apollo 13!  and so many good quotes.

"it's like trying to drive a toaster through a carwash" 

 you are pre-op? does your surgeon want you to lose a certain amount or what?