How Has Weigh Loss Changed You As A Person?
I'm courious if weight loss changes you as a person. Does your outlook on life or the world change? Does your personality change? Does your self image change? Do you do things you never thought you would do? This line of thinking/questioning all started with a dream I had that I wrote about in my blog:
In this dream that I had several weeks ago, I am at a party at somebody's house. I don’t know whose house, nor did I know anyone at the party. It is very crowded, there are lots of people. Generally in situations like this I am very aware and self-conscious of my large frame. I wanted to get through a doorway, but there were people standing all around it and I would have to squeeze through. I became very self-conscious, but as I was squeezing through, I realized I had no reason to be concerned because I had plenty of room. I looked down and my stomach was completely flat. It dawned on me that I had lost a ton of weight - I had simply woken up one day and all the weight was gone and I was, for lack of a better word, a "normal" human being. Then I came to the realization that all of my issues and insecurities had disappeared and my emotional eating problem had also gone away.
Typically when I am in a party situation I don't go up and talk to strangers. I don't make any kind of effort due to my shyness, but in this case I felt confident enough to go up and talk to anybody I wanted – even women. It was an incredible feeling to realize that not only had I gained self-confidence, but also I had lost the food addiction. That was basically the dream. It was just so perfect. I woke up thinking: "That is the person I want to be. I want to be the person who only eats when he's hungry, doesn't eat otherwise and is confident enough to do anything and talk to anybody."
I had the dream three weeks ago and I have tried to keep it alive inside me, although lately it has been harder to remember. The first week was great - I was happy, felt like I had no real emotional issues, I only ate when I was hungry - it was fantastic! The second week was a little more difficult. I am trying very hard to get back into the mental “zone" because the mentality I absolutely must have is to avoid eating for emotional reasons and just focus on eating to fulfill hunger. Once that is done I can go for a walk or do whatever else I want to... just not eat. I cannot explain to you how wonderful I felt in the dream. I felt like I had control over my body and mind. Having that much self confidence in a group of strangers like that was a very liberating experience.
In this dream that I had several weeks ago, I am at a party at somebody's house. I don’t know whose house, nor did I know anyone at the party. It is very crowded, there are lots of people. Generally in situations like this I am very aware and self-conscious of my large frame. I wanted to get through a doorway, but there were people standing all around it and I would have to squeeze through. I became very self-conscious, but as I was squeezing through, I realized I had no reason to be concerned because I had plenty of room. I looked down and my stomach was completely flat. It dawned on me that I had lost a ton of weight - I had simply woken up one day and all the weight was gone and I was, for lack of a better word, a "normal" human being. Then I came to the realization that all of my issues and insecurities had disappeared and my emotional eating problem had also gone away.
Typically when I am in a party situation I don't go up and talk to strangers. I don't make any kind of effort due to my shyness, but in this case I felt confident enough to go up and talk to anybody I wanted – even women. It was an incredible feeling to realize that not only had I gained self-confidence, but also I had lost the food addiction. That was basically the dream. It was just so perfect. I woke up thinking: "That is the person I want to be. I want to be the person who only eats when he's hungry, doesn't eat otherwise and is confident enough to do anything and talk to anybody."
I had the dream three weeks ago and I have tried to keep it alive inside me, although lately it has been harder to remember. The first week was great - I was happy, felt like I had no real emotional issues, I only ate when I was hungry - it was fantastic! The second week was a little more difficult. I am trying very hard to get back into the mental “zone" because the mentality I absolutely must have is to avoid eating for emotional reasons and just focus on eating to fulfill hunger. Once that is done I can go for a walk or do whatever else I want to... just not eat. I cannot explain to you how wonderful I felt in the dream. I felt like I had control over my body and mind. Having that much self confidence in a group of strangers like that was a very liberating experience.
The biggest change is just how happy I am. My husband tells me that all the time, but this week his sister said to me "you just seem so happy, and it's every time I see you...you're just a giant bubble of happiness" and that's honestly how I feel.
It's been a little over 10 months and I'm just a few pounds away from my goal. Yet I had a lot of other goals that weren't related to the number on the scale. I wanted to fit more comfortably in seats at basketball games, in planes, etc; I wanted to be able to ride bikes more with my hubby - we just did a 34 mile ride yesterday in the 95 degree heat; I wanted to become more stylish, more active, less self conscious.
I often say I wish I had done this sooner but reality is that I wasn't ready for it. Like an alcoholic or drug addict often must hit rock bottom before getting help, I feel that I had to become totally miserable being obese so I could more fully appreciate where I am now. While I'm probably spending a smalll fortune on clothing, I'm also saving a lot of money in landscaping costs at home and at our rentals because I'm able to do so much of it myself now.
I don't think I truly realized how unhappy I was at 280 and how much I was withdrawing from life. I have truly found my happy place and I walk around thinking throughout the day every day just how much I love my life and how happy I am. It's not about how I look, although that is what everyone comments on the most because it's still so new, but it's about how I feel. And I feel happy. It's improved my marriage because my husband loves to be outdoors and physically active and I'm able to be by his side exploring new things together. It's hard to put into words. Losing weight doesn't necessarily change WHO you are, but shedding that excess weight opens a lot of doors - it's just up to you to decide if you'll go through them or not. Everyone tells me that other than the obvious physical change, what they notice most is just how much more I smile.
Good luck to you in the journey - and do all you can to keep that dream alive. I truly believe that what you think about is what you manifest in your life. So just keep thinking about how good it felt to have that degree of self confidence.
It's been a little over 10 months and I'm just a few pounds away from my goal. Yet I had a lot of other goals that weren't related to the number on the scale. I wanted to fit more comfortably in seats at basketball games, in planes, etc; I wanted to be able to ride bikes more with my hubby - we just did a 34 mile ride yesterday in the 95 degree heat; I wanted to become more stylish, more active, less self conscious.
I often say I wish I had done this sooner but reality is that I wasn't ready for it. Like an alcoholic or drug addict often must hit rock bottom before getting help, I feel that I had to become totally miserable being obese so I could more fully appreciate where I am now. While I'm probably spending a smalll fortune on clothing, I'm also saving a lot of money in landscaping costs at home and at our rentals because I'm able to do so much of it myself now.
I don't think I truly realized how unhappy I was at 280 and how much I was withdrawing from life. I have truly found my happy place and I walk around thinking throughout the day every day just how much I love my life and how happy I am. It's not about how I look, although that is what everyone comments on the most because it's still so new, but it's about how I feel. And I feel happy. It's improved my marriage because my husband loves to be outdoors and physically active and I'm able to be by his side exploring new things together. It's hard to put into words. Losing weight doesn't necessarily change WHO you are, but shedding that excess weight opens a lot of doors - it's just up to you to decide if you'll go through them or not. Everyone tells me that other than the obvious physical change, what they notice most is just how much more I smile.
Good luck to you in the journey - and do all you can to keep that dream alive. I truly believe that what you think about is what you manifest in your life. So just keep thinking about how good it felt to have that degree of self confidence.
HW: 280 SW: 262.5 CW: 150
GOAL!!!! One week shy of my surgiversary!
LBL, TT, BA on 3/2/12 - Dr William Rigano
GOAL!!!! One week shy of my surgiversary!
LBL, TT, BA on 3/2/12 - Dr William Rigano
The physical changes are amazing, and have lifted the veil of misery I was living under - being out in the world as a "normal" sized person, being able to fit into airplane seats, restaurant booths, turnstiles, and all the rest. I now have an interest in traveling, which I never did before because I was so uncomfortable in my skin, and had a lot of physical discomfort as well. Unlike many people on this forum, I see myself as a thin person, in other words even though I'm amazed when I look in the mirror, I'm not surprised to see a thin person looking back. I no longer obsess about food. (In fact I recently threw away some Haagen Dazs that I had leftover from a birthday party, after it was in the freezer for a couple weeks. It was taking up room, and I didn't want it. Talk about amazing!)
That said, I am still fundamentally the same person I have always been. I'm a bit of a loner, uncomfortable in crowds, unable to initiate small-talk, dislike parties. I still have the same fears and insecurities (except about being the fattest woman in any gathering). I still tend to downplay my accomplishments at work. I still have difficulty making decisions sometimes, am still a procrastinator. In other words, basically the same flawed human being I was before, only thinner. Don't get me wrong, thinner is orders-of-magnitude better. But it doesn't solve all, or even most, of our emotional problems. Even though we think it will.
You might consider consulting a therapist who deals with weight issues, to help you deal with the things that change - and especially the things that don't - as you lose weight.
Good luck! If you decide not to go the therapist route, this board is almost as good, LOL!
That said, I am still fundamentally the same person I have always been. I'm a bit of a loner, uncomfortable in crowds, unable to initiate small-talk, dislike parties. I still have the same fears and insecurities (except about being the fattest woman in any gathering). I still tend to downplay my accomplishments at work. I still have difficulty making decisions sometimes, am still a procrastinator. In other words, basically the same flawed human being I was before, only thinner. Don't get me wrong, thinner is orders-of-magnitude better. But it doesn't solve all, or even most, of our emotional problems. Even though we think it will.
You might consider consulting a therapist who deals with weight issues, to help you deal with the things that change - and especially the things that don't - as you lose weight.
Good luck! If you decide not to go the therapist route, this board is almost as good, LOL!
Height 5' 7" High Wt 268 / Consult Wt 246 / Surgery Wt 241 / Goal Wt 150 / Happy place 135-137 / Current Wt 143
Tracker starts at consult weight
In maintenance since December 2011.
I think it depends on your definition of who you are. You will become more sure of yourself, happier with yourself, and probably more outgoing, I know I got really thick skin which has helped me immensely with doctors and at work.
That said. There is a group of people that totally change what they want out of life. I was happy with my husband, kids, job, homelife, etc. So none of that has changed. If you are unhappy with any of that. You may want to make dramatic changes. My God there are wlser that change husbands, jobs, states, etc.
I don't think you necessarily will want to change everything but there are slight changes as to how you act not necessarily you as a person. I'm the same person, but bc I'm happier w myself, I'm more outgoing and care less about what people think of me.
That said. There is a group of people that totally change what they want out of life. I was happy with my husband, kids, job, homelife, etc. So none of that has changed. If you are unhappy with any of that. You may want to make dramatic changes. My God there are wlser that change husbands, jobs, states, etc.
I don't think you necessarily will want to change everything but there are slight changes as to how you act not necessarily you as a person. I'm the same person, but bc I'm happier w myself, I'm more outgoing and care less about what people think of me.
Most Active
Recent Topics
