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I'm sure this is a sad time for you; however, I have become so jaded by the entitlement mentality of most kids anymore that I'm all for letting them get out on their own and learning some basic life lessons.
If the kid thinks they have it so bad at home, then get out. Go earn your own damn living, put a roof over your own damn head, and put your own damn food in your ungrateful mouth.
Like I said, I'm really jaded because not only have I experienced a child who thinks the world owes her and she has absolutely no gratitude for anything she has received but, instead, resents what she thinks shes entitled to, I have seen this same behavior among her peers and the children of people I work with as well as friends and acquaintances.
It's unbelievable...
Anyhow, I hope you can stand your ground and let her live the life she thinks is going to be so much better than the one you lovingly sacrificed to provide for her.
And, yes, I really am jaded...
DebsGiz.... oh I definitely know kids like that too (my son being one of them). But she wasn't like that. The problem is that she is artistic with an artiste` mentality and personality and my partner is a former Marine who still does a lot of stuff Marine style. He unintentionally made her feel like she couldn't do anything right and if she couldnt do anything right then why even bother trying. She made him feel like she was blowing him off and nobody likes being ignored. If she comes back there will definitely be some family counseling going on though because I can see both sides of the coin and I get stuck in between two people I love very much and I suck at negotiating truces apparently.
Have to tell you that I am smiling because my husband is retired army and, like your partner, he has a no nonsense approach.
When our daughter was growing up there were many times when I thought his way was simply too disciplined, while I was the push over. I justified and tried to reason everything out, generally giving into her, while my husband expected her to be responsible and toe the line.
I was the "good guy" and he was the disciplinarian.
She is pushing 40 now and guess who she adores? Not me.
She has gone so far as to tell me that while she hates me, she adores her father...
If I could get a "do over," let me assure you that I would be much more of a disciplinarian and much less of a push over because I did her no favors.
I let her grow up thinking the world revolved around her and, not surprisingly, she still believes this. My bad...
I understand what you're saying about feeling like you're stuck in the middle of two people that you love, and the one suggestion I would give is to suggest that you take yourself out of the equation and let them work it out between themselves because chances are they'll do a much better job of working it out than you ever could. It might surprise you actually, I know it certainly did me.
Wishing you lots of peace as your relationship moves into the next phase. My heart does go out to you...
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