Are they lost?

Finnie, you are so right.  I'm a self made ***** and I do things for myself. 

It was just a gut reaction, because when I read your response, I thought, boy is she giving her the benefit of a doubt.

I guess it's just my mood lately.   I've been MIA because I can't reconcile the words I WANT to say with the few words left in my head. 

I'm having a few cognitive issues, I'm working on them.  I go from exhausted, to hurting, to not remembering a darn thing I did the day before.

I'm not usually that far wrong, but if I am, I will certainly apologize.    It can be a good cause, I would love it if she was sincere.  It just read like a much reviewed and changed sales pitch  to me.

Glad to see you again too, Fin.   I have the utmost respect for your radar.   You are generally spot on also.

Tink

Well sugarlips you are going to have to work a little harder on the ***** part cause you haven't made it yet. You are an honest person and you say what you think, so if that makes you a ***** budge over a little cause Imma join you on the ***** bench, I always try to say what I think too.

The thing is you don't have to change your mind about how you interpreted the op. Your opinion and findings are totally valid. They are based on what you believe. I saw it differently and that was based on what I believe.

That can be one of the best parts of on line communication, we all get to read the same post and come up with our own conclusions.

And the losing words thing, what the hell is that all about? I will be talking and reaching for a word, say the word mattress for instance, I can't get to that word but my brain will offer me a substitute with something that might tie in with mattress, like batting or springs or pad. It just ****** me off.

Pretty soon I am going to have to post in all emoticons!

Fini, I have been reading Maryellen's message over and over again to find what if anything I may have missed and where if anywhere there is pity or condescending tones or any other light other that what I saw originally when I responded this morning.

So I read her conclusion again .... and again after reading the entire message and her conclusions states clearly 'YOU ARE NOT LOST" please read the conclusion again ... it IS a positive message IMO....

I even took it apart for my OWN personal benefit ... MY OWN PERSONAL BENEFIT.... 

Her message says.... 


"I want to reach out to those that feel they are lost."  She wants to reach out to those who  "FEEL" a certain way ... In my personal life I volunteer with an Outreach Center that reaches out to a high risk community... we are there for support should they 'FEEL' they need us ... it is good to know support is there... I am glad Maryellen is a person as so many others are on here like you my dear friend who I can reach out to for support should I FEEL a certain way....

"I want to be part of their support and help them get back on track or start over." She wants to be part of a support system and I am fully supportive of being supportive to all people in general ... there are so many people having to start over each and every day ... my beautiful sista if you ever knew how many times I have had to start over ... I would run out of fingers if I had to count...

I hope some that reads this knows of someone struggling and needs a re-introduction to aftercare.   She hopes ... if she could reach but one person *****lates to what she is saying....

If not here or LIPO, search for some support.  if not on the Long Island Post Op Group she encourages search for some support anywhere one may find it... My dd is currently searching for support groups online with her recently diagnosed dermatomyositis .. a chronic autoimmune disease and THANK GOD AN OH SISTA REACHED OUT AND OFFERED HER SUPPORT WHEN I POSTED ... ANOTHER PERSON WITH THE SAME AILMENT.... I was encouraged by her message ... and I seek support daily in ALL aspects of my life....

You are not lost!  SEE....MaryEllen wrote this in her conclusion ... she says YOU ARE NOT LOST!!!! there is the message WRITTEN CLEARLY IN THE CONCLUSION ... YOU ARE NOT LOST! IT IS HER CONCLUSION .... !!! YOU ARE NOT LOST!!!! THE MESSAGE IS IN THE CONCLUSION ... YOU ARE NOT LOST!!!! YOU ARE NOT LOST!!!! YOU ARE NOT LOST!!!! 

We have all stumbled on our journey;  I don't know or can't talk for others but I HAVE STUMBLED SOOOOOOOOO MANY TIMES I HAVE... I HAVE!

pick yourself up, she encourages us to PICK YOURSELF UP ... and the words of the song started playing in my ear "we fall down, but we get up. for A SAINT IS JUST A SINNER WHO FELL DOWN ...BUT GOT UP....GET BACK UP AGAIN.......GET BACK UP AGAIN"

 find the path and start over.  FIND THE PATH .. WHATEVER THAT PATH IS ... MY PATH DOES NOT HAVE TO BE MARYELLENS PATH NOR YOUR PATH .... FIND THE PATH SHE SAYS.... WHATEVER ONE CHOOSES OR DOES NOT CHOOSE ... DOING SOMETHING IS A PATH ... NOT DOING ANYTHING IS A PATH ... DOING IT WITH MARYELLEN'S SUPPORT IS A PATH... DOING IT WITHOUT MARYELLEN'S SUPPORT IS A PATH....

I am AGAIN just inspired by this message ... and will copy the poem and share it ... because it encourages me on many aspects of my daily life not only weight related ... it will encourage my temporarily disabled daughter ... it will encourage my disabled husband and it will encourage my son and my friends....

I am not currently loss today but should I be tomorrow I KNOW WHO I CAN COUNT ON ...  I have stumbled sooooooooooo many times and I have been sooooooooo low so many times that I am grateful for all the support offered throughout my journey here and in my real life ... i am grateful that someone cares ... and I am also grateful for the life lines you have sent both me and my DD in our moment of recent distress...

I can see how someone might consider this pitying or a sales pitch but maybe because I spend so much time on your board my thoughts trend toward a more positive mind set and I see it as an open handed offer of help. You have been a very good influence on this old broad!

And stumbling, hell, most of my forward motion is due to stumbling. Without stumbles I would standing still.

Hello my love Marta...I have missed you so much.  Maryellen's message was positive.  See my post.  Many of the complaints come from long time disagreements so don't try to understand it.  You are one of my favorites because you always show respect to each and every person. 
Love you, Y

Funny thing -- the OP doesn't offer help to all.  She chooses only certain kinds of post ops to "associate with."

I don't know Beth maybe her way of helping is to let people know that there is help to be had. You help people who are struggling by letting them know that  WLS is not always what it is packaged and sold to be and that bad things can happen. That is form of help that many, many people need.

You don't necessarily list step by step how they can be helped, you just offer your experience and commiseration with theirs.

That is what I see the op doing. I don't know who she associates with, I don't know who is on her friends list. I just know that I saw a post that  - to me - offered help and didn't see a real problem with it.

Isn't there room on OH for both kinds of help? Who gains if we silence either kind of helper?

I am not qualified to offer that kind of help.  I am a peer - a patient - not a professional.   I have to be careful - as we all do.  I don't claim to be any sort of mental help pro or anything or have a plan to get anyone back on track.  I can't necessarily do that if I don't have my own **** together.  I don't claim to help anyone.  It's not my goal.

The OP is promoting a new business, and yes, that's my biased opinion because I know the history.  They sell products, self-help books, "motivational" speaker slots. etc.  (I don't claim innocence --- I earn passive income on protein/vitamins, also.  I harbor NO hate about that.  These are my people.)

But -- they've utlized an elitist idea about their community -- and who to should be helped.   "Debbie Downers" and those with negative experiences, or those with differing opinions are unwanted.  Those like me, should be silenced at all costs. 

I think you are more than qualified to offer help Beth. You have walked the walk. You know **** from shinola, you've been there, done that.

Cliches aside, you offer support and help to the people who are experiencing post op life with some of the same complications you have had. You are giving the people who struggle with regain, or never made it to some arbitrary goal, or feel like **** a voice. A voice is something wonderful when you have been feeling silenced and alone. What you offer is very valuable.

As far as the OP promoting a new business, yeah, I don't have a problem with that. Why should doctors and hospitals be the only ones to make a buck off the weight loss epidemic? Selling a product doesn't make the seller particularly suspect. As you say you earn a passive income on WLS related products, that doesn't make you suspect at all. Obesity is a multi-billion dollar industry, there are more than enough dollars being generated that anyone with a little drive and creativity should be able to make a living from it.

I know you have often said that people have tried to make you stop talking about your problems, and that would **** me off, I would just keep talking louder and louder, but I have to say that I have never seen anyone criticize you on OH (well not since Amy Williams left). The people who post to you here adore you. If you are getting bashed somewhere else I guess I would try to avoid that somewhere else if it were me.

For me Beth there is simply room for both kinds of post op experiences, yours and the happier sort. I know for a fact that there are people who hesitate to post their good news and good results on this board because someone who has not had the same results will get on the post and rag the **** out of them. So I see this door swinging both ways and both sides are getting hit in the ass with it. Maybe the only thing to do is accept that just as you have struggled post op others have not. They should accept your account as you report it and you should accept theirs.

Again, it's a big board with plenty of room for all sorts of people.

 I wish to hell that people felt comfortable sharing ALL results.

It kills me to see some of the emails I get -- "I didn't feel like I could say this.... but..."

We are all in the leaky boat together, you know!

I haven't struggled HALF AS BADLY as some of these folks on this board -- but damn it -- they deserve a voice.

Anyway.  /end rant.  I dropped a curtain rod on my FACE a whlie ago.  Fat lip ensued, and now I don't need botox.

Thanks for the kind words and motivation.