Are they lost?
I lurke here an awful lot. I have online support, I have offline support. I have many friends who are post op and choose to not seek support with in this community because people with savior complexes and the cheerleaders are very ofen overwhelming for people who are feeling a bit insecure, and those people come off as if they are superior to some people.
The if you build it they will come theory applies here. You have built a support system and people have joined. They will bring their friends, and their friends will bring their friends. It will continue to grow. So why not focus on the people who's attention you have and let their word of mouth carry your message?
Your post will be perceived differently to different types of people. Personally, anybody who feels they need to save me obviously sees me as a victim. A lost soul? No thank you.
I personally look for people who will accept me regardless of my flaws. People who can inspire me to be better, with out taking me up as a flawed cause to fix.
I understand the intent of your post. I see that you want to help people. Thats why we're all here, isn't it? To share, support, inspire? Perhaps you should reflect a little on why you have an empty feeling, why all you have done for the community doesn't feel like enough. And sometimes, we just have to accept that some people don't fit into our idea of what support is.
There is something out there for everybody. It is an individual choice. Remind yourself of where you were when you first stepped into the world of WLS. It can be very overwhelming. We walk a fine line between inspiring people and preaching to people. Again, its all in how its perceived.
The if you build it they will come theory applies here. You have built a support system and people have joined. They will bring their friends, and their friends will bring their friends. It will continue to grow. So why not focus on the people who's attention you have and let their word of mouth carry your message?
Your post will be perceived differently to different types of people. Personally, anybody who feels they need to save me obviously sees me as a victim. A lost soul? No thank you.
I personally look for people who will accept me regardless of my flaws. People who can inspire me to be better, with out taking me up as a flawed cause to fix.
I understand the intent of your post. I see that you want to help people. Thats why we're all here, isn't it? To share, support, inspire? Perhaps you should reflect a little on why you have an empty feeling, why all you have done for the community doesn't feel like enough. And sometimes, we just have to accept that some people don't fit into our idea of what support is.
There is something out there for everybody. It is an individual choice. Remind yourself of where you were when you first stepped into the world of WLS. It can be very overwhelming. We walk a fine line between inspiring people and preaching to people. Again, its all in how its perceived.
On July 1, 2011 at 7:37 AM Pacific Time, michelle202 wrote:
I lurke here an awful lot. I have online support, I have offline support. I have many friends who are post op and choose to not seek support with in this community because people with savior complexes and the cheerleaders are very ofen overwhelming for people who are feeling a bit insecure, and those people come off as if they are superior to some people. The if you build it they will come theory applies here. You have built a support system and people have joined. They will bring their friends, and their friends will bring their friends. It will continue to grow. So why not focus on the people who's attention you have and let their word of mouth carry your message?
Your post will be perceived differently to different types of people. Personally, anybody who feels they need to save me obviously sees me as a victim. A lost soul? No thank you.
I personally look for people who will accept me regardless of my flaws. People who can inspire me to be better, with out taking me up as a flawed cause to fix.
I understand the intent of your post. I see that you want to help people. Thats why we're all here, isn't it? To share, support, inspire? Perhaps you should reflect a little on why you have an empty feeling, why all you have done for the community doesn't feel like enough. And sometimes, we just have to accept that some people don't fit into our idea of what support is.
There is something out there for everybody. It is an individual choice. Remind yourself of where you were when you first stepped into the world of WLS. It can be very overwhelming. We walk a fine line between inspiring people and preaching to people. Again, its all in how its perceived.
RNY 10/19/09 - Revision to VSG 10/13/14 - Dr Paul Enochs
I really appreciate the sentiment behind this post, but for me the "Start all over" part is what got me in this boat to begin with. It has a connotation of "It's all or nothing." The fact is we can't start over and our recovery does not occur in a straight line. Our recovery is a jagged path with peaks and valleys. The question is, when I'm in the valley, who will be there? Who can I trust?
I was online but felt that I couldn't relate to most people for the first 2-3 years post surgery, but then I met up with some great people IN PERSON with REAL PEOPLE at the Houston OH conference. So now I encourage all post-ops I know to make it to an event so they can connect. Even with that, I still didn't have a support group until I started one up on my own (BBGC North TX, with the amazing Kaitlin Nelson). A lot of ice is broken when the dirty parts of this journey are uncovered, commiserated on, and you are not judged for it. THEN we move forward. NOT starting over, but dusting ourselves off and continuing the journey.
I pray your continued success in finding and helping those who connect and relate to you best. And that others find their support where they need to find it as well.
I was online but felt that I couldn't relate to most people for the first 2-3 years post surgery, but then I met up with some great people IN PERSON with REAL PEOPLE at the Houston OH conference. So now I encourage all post-ops I know to make it to an event so they can connect. Even with that, I still didn't have a support group until I started one up on my own (BBGC North TX, with the amazing Kaitlin Nelson). A lot of ice is broken when the dirty parts of this journey are uncovered, commiserated on, and you are not judged for it. THEN we move forward. NOT starting over, but dusting ourselves off and continuing the journey.
I pray your continued success in finding and helping those who connect and relate to you best. And that others find their support where they need to find it as well.
I'm not lost but I am broken.
Let's see what happened:
Had surgery, doing great. 3 months later 72 pounds lost.
Then I got banned for life from OH, by a former moderator for no reason (I was personally invited back when the reign of terror was ending)
It hurt. It hurt a lot, but I put on a stoic face and said, it's ok. I'll be ok. I wasn't.
Six months after surgery, my surgeons PA said I wasn't losing weight fast enough. I was gonna screw up the surgeon's success numbers. Didn't go back again. Did she really say 'gonna screw up the surgeon's success numbers?' . I don't really remember, but that is the message I heard right or wrong.
In the meantime, Graves disease and fibro. Medications to treat both and I gained 50 pounds back. Still on same meds, but now my thyroid is again too low.
Do I want help to get back on track? I don't know.
Did I read this message as hope and encouragement. No, I didn't. I read it as pity and hey I can make a buck off the has beens, the failures, if I just reach out to them they will buy into my business.
Sorry if I read it wrong and imputed the wrong message from your words, but it just looks like one more way for a WLS failure to get hurt or ridiculed.
Tinkl
Let's see what happened:
Had surgery, doing great. 3 months later 72 pounds lost.
Then I got banned for life from OH, by a former moderator for no reason (I was personally invited back when the reign of terror was ending)
It hurt. It hurt a lot, but I put on a stoic face and said, it's ok. I'll be ok. I wasn't.
Six months after surgery, my surgeons PA said I wasn't losing weight fast enough. I was gonna screw up the surgeon's success numbers. Didn't go back again. Did she really say 'gonna screw up the surgeon's success numbers?' . I don't really remember, but that is the message I heard right or wrong.
In the meantime, Graves disease and fibro. Medications to treat both and I gained 50 pounds back. Still on same meds, but now my thyroid is again too low.
Do I want help to get back on track? I don't know.
Did I read this message as hope and encouragement. No, I didn't. I read it as pity and hey I can make a buck off the has beens, the failures, if I just reach out to them they will buy into my business.
Sorry if I read it wrong and imputed the wrong message from your words, but it just looks like one more way for a WLS failure to get hurt or ridiculed.
Tinkl
(deactivated member)
on 7/1/11 4:47 am
on 7/1/11 4:47 am
Tink I hate people feeling sorry for me. I would rather chew off my own leg than have someone pity me. That's why I make it a point to not talk about any problems on OH, I don't want sympathy. I'm thinking you are much the same way.
But I really didn't see the op as pitying. I even went back and re read it after your post cause I just love you and so totally respect what you say and think. And even when I re read it I didn't pick up a pity vibe. I got a sense that the op is interested in offering support to anyone who might like that kind of support, but not a oh you poor thing feeling. And trust me, my feelers are always out for people who want to pat my head and offer platitudes and cliches.
I could be totally wrong but I just didn't see this post as anything but a hand out to others.
And it is delightful to see you posting! Hugs to you!
But I really didn't see the op as pitying. I even went back and re read it after your post cause I just love you and so totally respect what you say and think. And even when I re read it I didn't pick up a pity vibe. I got a sense that the op is interested in offering support to anyone who might like that kind of support, but not a oh you poor thing feeling. And trust me, my feelers are always out for people who want to pat my head and offer platitudes and cliches.
I could be totally wrong but I just didn't see this post as anything but a hand out to others.
And it is delightful to see you posting! Hugs to you!
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