Engaged , Happy And Yet so Sad...P O

   Well said.  

Let me be sure I am understanding you, you have heart problems, you have been doing your house workd and HIS, cooking for both of you, all with a bad elbow and YOU are lazy?

I would be very leery of a man who called me names after I have cooked and cleaned his house when I am not even living in it.  Everyone puts their very best foot forward during courtship.  If he is doing this now, what will he do when you are his wife?

The name calling may or not be the start of a breakup for you.  I will just tell you that I would not tollerate that.  It is petty, cruel and mean.  What would he call you if you get sick and start to gain?

Name calling other than sweet pet names is a way passive agressive people take out THEIR frustrations on those that love them.

Do you want to live with a person who calls you lazy when you are working your rear off for him>  Do you want that for your children?  It is your call...

First of all.........why would u be cooking and cleaning for him??? He is a grown man! I didn't see anything posted about him cooking and cleaning for u. This is NOT the 1950's! If all he wants is a maid and farm hand, then I suggest he hire them and stop taking advantage of u!!!

Second of all.............calling u names is verbal abuse. That should NEVER be tollerated!

U might not have much of a choice of men before your WLS, but u do now. U deserve better! Remember.........PEOPLE CAN ONLY TREAT U THE WAY U LET THEM TREAT U! Do NOT accept treatment like this from anyone!

If it were me I would call off the wedding immediately and keep the ring as payment for all the free labor he got out of u!

You are cooking and cleaning at two places and he is calling you lazy???? Why isn't he cleaning his own place?  It seems to me he is the lazy one. I don't mean to sound harsh but there is something wrong.  If he is doing these things now it is not going to get better after you get married. 

A lot of good advice up above, you better listen and listen hard. Think how you would feel if it was your daughter in this same situation. A man is calling her names. I think you should stop "working" for him for a while. Who did his "work" before you became his "girlfriend"? No, I had a girlfriend and she and her husband used to name call and their marriage did not survive. Not a good way to be treated, next might come a gentle slap and then a fist. I think you should talk to a counselor before you talk to someone about a wedding dress, and fast please!!!

here is where I have to ask you if you are out of your mind????? You clean his place?  Nah not in my world!  And help at his farm hell I can relate to that as we own horses . I would have blown him out of the water after he called me lazy **** 9 heart surgeries and you are so wonderfully active and eventually you run out of steam and take a cap nap and he said that to you. Now just think how hurt you are when he calls you lazy and trust me there are alot worst to be called as we all know so to me you got a preview of things to come.  No thank you I would have slipped that ring if there is one and said to him "Lazy is giving this back to you" Its called respect and appreciation and sorry I don't see that here.  This is someone who you could be falling asleep and waking up next to and gave you a preview.  No thank you.  Wendy you deserve so much better.  No go look in the mirror and say to the reflection Wendy you deserve better and do it.

My question to you is if you have or had a child, would you be ok with the things he says to you, saying them to your child?? Or even a friend. I have been with my dh for over 11 years now and he has never called me a name.

Lots of good advice here and I wish you luck!

But I could not help but smile because I thought of that commerical that is running on TV right now...the guy says "I hope you brought your umbrella cuz it's fixin' to rain cold hard facts up in here!"

Take care of yourself and don't settle!!

Calling you names is verbal abuse.

 No.  Just NO.  There are so many things wrong with your post that it's EVERYTHING.