Engaged , Happy And Yet so Sad...P O

So Happy but Yet so Sad...He knows I had Wls But dosent understand all the little side effects from Wls P O.. Like when i accidently eat too many carbs, yea I get carried away when it tastes so good. I go into the sleep mode for a few hours, I havent been following the rules 100 % .. Yet I have lost that last 20 lbs to my goal the last 3 months. I am happy there. I dont like being called lazy..I have had 9 heart surgeries. I have slowed down alot after 9 heart surgeries.then on top of that I go into a sleep mode when i eat too many carbs.
 I fell in Love with him because he eats pretty healthy without having had Wls. He eats pretty healthy most of the time.

I just finished moving into a new place of my own.I have been cooking , cleaning for 2 places His & Mine, for the last 2 months . I am exausted. Injured my right elbow. thats still healing.

Wondering If any other P O married people end in divorce after Wls. Is this name calling the start of a break up? He is  not overweight. 



I am happy I found someone after loosing alot of weight, but it hurts that now he is calling me lazy. I hope this isnt going to end up in a break up. Nobody is  perfect but I dont want this to get out of hand as i know can happen easily. Thanks for your input, Peace Wendy

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but if he is calling you names such as lazy, then he is not what is in your best interest...

Love is patient and kind, it is supportive and lifts you up. 

If you marry this man, you will live to regret it as it's only going to get worse.

His tearing you down is a major flaw in his character.  Recognize it for what it is and do not sugar coat this.  You deserve better.

But... I think you already know this at some level which is why you wrote this post to begin with...

.

Being in the midst of a divorce, I can tell you that if he's calling you lazy at this point, nothing good will come from it. Even if he stops saying it, he will be thinking it, and I don't see how you can really grow as a couple.

Pre-op, I, along with maybe a lot of people, settled or were tempted to settle in our relationships. You don't have to do this. You deserve someone who will build you up, support you, and love you for who you are and everything you have been through. He does not sound like a candidate.

You've been through almost a dozen life-changing/saving surgeries. You've invested way too much into your health to put up with an asshole. I think you already know what you're going to do and you're here for some support. I say do what makes you happy even if that means being by yourself until you find THE person that is right for you. This douche isn't it.

I'm not going to give a big preaching to, because I've been in the position of talking to girlfriends til I'm blue in the face about being respected, wanted, loved unconditionally, etc. It doesn't matter if you get banged over the head with rationalities and truths, only you have to see it and decided if you're going to settle for that kind of treatment.

But, I will tell you this. Take yourself completely out of yourself for a minute and then go back and read your post word for word. Do this very carefully like you were not even the person that wrote it. Then, think about what you would say to a fellow poster or your best friend, if they wrote this or asked you for advise. What would you tell them? I think you'll get your answers all on your own.

If you are cleaning and and cooking for him and you too, had *9 HEART SURGERIES, and he calls you lazy? SERIOUSLY? Anyway, like I said, go back and read what you wrote. Hopefully, you'll see what we all see too. Good luck to you and I hope whatever you decide, that ultimately you are happy.

I won't go so far as to say get rid of this guy, but if he's calling you lazy, I'd proceed in this relationship with caution.  If the name calling escalates, I don't see how it can bode well for a future together.  The world can be ugly enough; I want my home to be a safe harbor.

Actually what i posted is only about 25 % of all the work i have done with him and for him. He farms so i have helped carry hay, Always lots of work to do on a farm..etc etc...It's just when i go into these sleep modes when i eat too many carbs, I'm not paying attention. He calls me
L-A-Z-Y.. I am considering a time out for now. thanks

One other comment to what everyone else has said ---- it is VERY common for WLS patients to have some amount of rebound weight gain.

If he calls you names now, what do you think will happen if you gain 10% (or more) of your weight?

You deserve a man who loves and supports you ---

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1)  What name will not be okay to be called?
2)  How hard do you have to work to be thanked for your hard work?
3)  Why does he not understand about carb comas?
4)  Why are you not being thanked and appreciated for cleaning his house?  Cooking his meals?
5)  What are you getting out of this relationship?
6)  Where are your boundaries?  How mean does he have to be for you to say enough?
7)  Is his eating healthy (and all his other good attributes) enough to sustain you?

I am ending my 26 year marriage to a verbally and emotionally abusive person.  WLS did not cause it:  it opened my eyes to the abuse.  I came to some startling realizations after ending my addiction to food. 

If you find that you need to break up with this man, console yourself with this... you saved yourself from untold misery. 

The biggest key to the answer to your question is the title of your post, "Engaged, happy and yet so sad."  Something inside you somewhere is screaming at you to pay attention.  Please listen to your inner self.  You already know the answer.