THE STRESSFUL BOUNCE OR DROP .... my testimony

Can you beleve it? Yes I did say twenty- 20 -twenty pounds. 

No****er weight I'm talking real body fat folks. It comes complete with any combination of neuralgia; spasticity; incontinence; vertigo; dysphasia; cognitive dysfunction and many other options. That's right folks, I can easily gain that much body fat in such a short period of time, plus all the perks.   

We hear it on the boards all the time how 'everybody's different'  . Well there are some things that are just common to the species and are relatively the same for us all. Then there are others *****ally are different. It may be due to inate factors or external forces but it causes our bodies to act in ways that are unexpected.

Where weight loss is concerned, I can gain fat in the presence of a sustained calorie deficit. I can watch myself expand throughout the day and wake up the next morning unable to fit in my clothes. I can as easily gain 2-3 lbs a week as a newbie can lose the same. Its not just me. There are many of us on this site dealing with problems of metabolism. Mine are both inate and medication related.

Seeing Martita's DD Candice swell as she did pierced my heart. I have been there. Thankfully not as serious but disturbing nonetheless. Like Candice has learned, I also have a condition that requires medication to control. It is chronic and degenerative, causing leisions on the brain and the spine. It can be managed but not cured.

Between the disease process and the medication side effects, daily living can be physically and emotionally challenging. I wake up in the morning unaware if I will lose control of any given body part or function this day. I go to bed at night unsure if I will be awaken by spasms or assaulted by neuralgia. I open my netbook unsure if I will be able to see this day, hour, or minute.

I want Candice to know you can and you will get through this. Your issues will differ but you will learn to work them into your life. We get through it because we must. We handle it because as long as we are blessed with this life we must live it. We learn to cope because we wish to enjoy this world's daily treasures and the company of people we love.

Hell no, I will never be a Pollyanna filled with sweetness and light. I curse this disease every time I land flat on my face or become lost and confused in my own town. It is what it is. Candice, like me you will find your way in small steps.

This is from my OH web log after a nasty bout of swelling last summer. It started as an ms flare and lead to a medication reaction. Months later I learned there were actually two medications that triggerred the swelling. I learned this because once again I was swelling.

August 2010

WIPE OUT: Not Easy Come But Very Easy Go Damnit !!!

Its right back to being fat. No, not bounce back weight.  I did not eat my way away from goal.  I had an MS flare and took oral prednisone for a few days.  That usually means 2-3 lbs a week weight gain for a month or two.  

Bad enough I think but this time I've got swelling too.  Twenty pounds worth.  I've taken "THE ANTIDOTE", however it is incomplete.  I'm not even close to back to the body I had two weeks ago.  I made it to goal and it was not easy come but damnit it was very easy go.  


Pretty normal looking chick right?  

    

Chango, presto and... 

Bride of Frankenstein?  He wouldn't have me.   

   
Taking "THE ANTIDOTE" 7/15, 16, 17 so why am I getting worse?  

Sexy legs?  NOT.  My legs at goal next to my swollen legs.  

  
My normal legs.  Can you believe this is two weeks later?


Check out my tummy.  So much hard work gone. 

My tummy at goal.   I've been working on tightening up these abs.
 
Look at me now.              Damnit I look pregnant.  Once again I'm Winnie the Pooh shaped.  

A week before I made goal I looked like this.  
 No shapewear!


Today I look like this, fkcu! Check out that gut.

 
No muffin top.  An entire bread basket hanging over this waistband.  Still no shapewear but I could use some now.  

Now I've got to loose the excess.  First any fluid retention and then the fat gained. My thyroid levles are low.  That means loosing weight will be even harder than usual.  At present I'm rolling between 5-10 lbs up.  

I took that "skinny" picture on 6/25  when my daughter and I went out for Thai food.  The "GOAL" pics were taken on 7/2.  Today is 8/1 and its all been WIPED OUT.

I don't know where I stand as the weight gain may not yet be over.  So much hard work.  Five hundred and eight days to get there.  Why oh why does this **** happen to me?  I am soooo not a happy camper right now. 

I copied and pasted this for Candice but I did not read it. Seeing the detail is too unsetling. My Dear, you may have moments like this; or, you may want to embrace each memory even the bad ones. It will likely be a combination.

Here I am again this week. Padded with added fat after the swelling caused by medication has subsided. Again it started with an ms flare but thankfully this time the swelling was far less severe. I've been bouncing in a 20 lb range since thi**** back in mid April. I still had 3 lbs to go from my previous episode. With determination I will drop the remaining 8.7 lbs and be back in all of my clothes with my weight in the 130's.

OH HOW I HATE BELLY FAT - MAY 2011
 THIS IS WHATS LEFT AFTER YET ANOTHER EPISODE OF SWELLING. BARELY SQUEEZED INTO WHAT WAS ONCE A LOOSE SIZE TWO CARGO PANTS. UUUUGH!

CHUNKY MUNKY - WHY OH WHY DOES FAT KEEP FINDING ME I ONCE HAD A BOOK MARK THAT SAID SOMETHING LIKE I TRY TO LOOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME. I THINK THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A PROHECY.

This is a frustrating repetative cycle for me. I wish I could say its all good but the fat comes on very quickly and it is stubborn to leave. For many the weight drops right off as soon as the hormones involed return to normal. I've never been so lucky but I hope you are. Either way you will keep a healthy weight with determination

We are not unique in our struggle with illness. Millions endure what we put up with. Some days we carry it with grace. Some days we are all **** and vinegar. We will manage, get through, persevere, make life work, etc. Nothing in life should be given license to dispatch with our joy. Even during the low moments, carry that joy in your heart. Don't let anything steal that joy.

                   MSW   SENSIBLE EATING - RNY ROCKS!!!  
  

 I   MY RNY 

      

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                                   WEIGHT. GAIN. MUST. DIE!!!