Hi just here listen to love songs borned

just listening to love songs and reading the message board. My man is out playing in a bar some were in islip. The reason I didn't go is because I have to work tomorrow a 7am. And when I go with him I don't feel confortable I take my dad with me. I really don't have any friends my best friend moved up state and has 4 kids.We talk every day but it is not the same. My future husband doesn't really hang out with me when I am there anyway. We fight all the time about it. He feels all I want to do is stay in the corner. And he wants to see the other band and met other band to play a other bar in the future. But you don't understand he play heavy metal and they mosh pip. You get kicked and punched out sometimes I don't like to be that close. Sometimes I don't even know why I go. It is not so much that I am checking up on him. It is just it is hard to trust man in bars. And he plays out even more. I don't know if I can take it anymore it is causeing all of problems. I try to trust him. He never gave me a reason it is just maybe sometimes the things that he say to me. I take my dad for support.Please help gina

Gina, Maybe you need to find a man who you CAN trust. Also one who can respect your needs and not just worry about what he wants. You deserve the best - don't settle for someone who doesn't love and respect you. I see that you'll be having the surgery soon. You'll need support because you'll be going thru many changes in your life. Maybe you shouldn't committ to any lasting relationship until you discover who you are thru the transitions this next year. I'm sorry to hear your best friend moved away - it's hard to not have that person right there to support you through this. Good luck. Gail

Hang in there and listen to your heart. Your instincts will tell you what to do with the situation and your future with him. Good luck and God bless. Ramona

Gina, {{{HUGS}}} Maybe I'm old but I tried to read your profile and that red background about pulled my eye's out of their sockets...phew!! Sounds like you have a great Dad - if he goes to places that play Metal music w/mosh pits with you!! He's a keeper!!! I'm not so sure about your fella. You will be experiencing some massive changes in the coming months, and that blossoming self esteem that is getting ready to come to full bloom will not tolerate abuse!! He may not hit you but words can wound forever! Verbal and emotional abuse are just a damaging as a fist. Sounds like you've got a good support system with your Dad, chances are he will be the one you need to lean on in the months ahead. Take care! Happy thoughts, Va Was/Am/Wannabe 232/163/130 -69 pounds -68 inches

Hi Gina, Doesn't sound like the two of you have mu*****ommon. Maybe you should not "settle" and wait until you do find a man who enjoys the same things you do. Which doesn't seem to be heavy metal and mosh pits. I can relate to the best friend moving away too. mine moved away when I was in 11th grade. It was really tough. Keep in touch with her even though she's far away. I am still friends with my friend even though we've lived far apart for almost 30 years. She's still the best friend ever. Hey I am originally from Selden, Long Island. My mom and brother still live in Ronkonkoma. I was actually born in Islip

That reminds me of an old saying, "Hug a muscian's girlfriend~ she never gets to dance." Good luck to you. You will ultimately make the right choice for you. -SD

I must be the odd one in the bunch I swear I am like a social butterfly inthose situations I don't know I think it is because it was the one place that I never felt my size was an issue all my friends love me for who I am no matter what the outside is showing at the time.

That's wonderful Sunny!! I love it!! Sandy

You need to keep your options open about your future. If your always fighting and his lifestyle isn't quite compatible with yours, and your not really sure that he's a Trustworthy man, Perhaps you need to move on. People will treat you the way you let them. Men, speaking as one, do not change, they just get to be more like themselves. Distilled as it were. If you're getting hints of areas where he should change now, those will only get more pronounced as he gets older. This is only my opinion, I'm no Dr. Phil. Best of wishes to you- Dx

Gina, Wife of a band member here. In fact since I can remember most my friends have been in bands. I also used to live in a mosh pit before kids Sometimes people get hurt but I never did...I was carried out of one before by a friend that was worried, of course this is before women really got in the pit. Part of being in a band is meeting other bands and forming friendships. It really is like networking in any job. As for the trust issue if he has given you no reason not to trust him don't worry. I don't know who told you stories about men in bars but my husbands mind is on the music and not the chicks that are there. When we first met he lived almost 800 miles from me and I can say I never really worried about him meeting someone else. MOST guys are not into groupies and if he was he wouldn't want you to go with him in the first place. Does the other guys in the band have girlfriends or wives that go with them? I am the odd duck because I love meeting other people and loved going with him or friends to talk to the other bands. There are a few dogs in every bunch but for the most part the guys are pretty faithful. I used to hang out with Heavy Metal, Death Metal etc guys and like I said other than a few getting some action wasn't on their minds as much as playing was. Good Luck to you Tara