OT- just need to vent about work.

So i started this new job I'm at in October, 2010 as a lab tech for an eye doctor's office. Before I was even there for 90 days I got "promoted" to being one of the doctor's assistants, there are people that have been there for years like 15 and 20 yrs and I know that even if they were offered the position they wouldn't take it but for some reason are hating on me. Everyone knows I had WLS, I use it as a testimony to hopefully inspire someone else, but I get the feeling that that's part of why they are acting the way they are, like I don't deserve it or something because I used to be fat. and I always dress up and look nice so I get looks all the time. I have 4 kids and my husband works in the oilfield so when he's gone for 2 weeks at a time I on my own, today my 3yr. old screamed for 3 hrs straight because she didn't want me to leave her, she's very attached to her dad and has seperation issues when he leaves.  So I called my work and told them the situation, I couldn't just leave her crying like that! Well I heard from one of my co-workers today that everyone was talking about me and saying that I should of just left her with the baby sitter crying and I shouldn't be in that position blah blah blah! I just feel so out of place and unaccepted, I know that happens but it's not just 1 or 2 people it's most of them and the bad part is that the doc doesn't stand up for anyone he just lets everyone talk and gossip there's no respect! I just feel so stressed and out of place, Everyday I'm there I have terrible gas and am extremely bloated from the stress, sorry this is so long but I just need to vent and want to know how some of you would handle this? I don't even feel comfortable going in to work at all.

Have a long chat with your boss, asap. They might have some insight as to what's up...possibly clueless too, so is a good person to get on your side. The people there sound like change, even in a newer employee does not go well. Some people just need gossip to survive, but that's a tough deal to have to work with regardless of why! Good luck, just remember keep doing the best you can do..you were promoted because you do a good job.

I realize the economy isn't the best right now, but it's really time you began looking for another job.

Keep in mind, you cannot change other people.  You can only change yourself and your situation, so brush up your resume and begin sending it out.  You will find a job once you begin looking.  It may take some time, but something will open up for you in a situation that is more suited for your needs.

It was suggested that you might want to speak to the doctor.  Since he is aware that gossip is happening and turns a blind eye to it, I would not suggest talking to him because I think it will have about as much effect as ******g in the wind, and it's going to place him in a position that he does not have the balls to deal with.  In other words, he is not going to appreciate you putting him in the middle on this...  which is, sadly, how I'm betting he'll view the situation... 

"Well I heard from one of my co-workers today that everyone was talking about me and saying that I should of just left her with the baby sitter crying and I shouldn't be in that position blah blah blah! "

Back home they used to say, "The more you stir "$#IT, the more it stinks."  Your co-worker is a $#IT stirrer.   She is keeping you upset by running back to you with gossip that may or may not have been said.  Did she stand up for you when the others were talking about you?  Please don't allow this woman to suck you into some foolishness.

If the doctor promoted you that means he is pleased with the quality of your work.  It also means that he feels like the people there before you are not as good as you are.  They are jealous.  Even if some people don't like you they are not signing your pay check.  The doctor is.  If you go to him complaining, he is going to see you as the trouble maker because then he will be forced to deal with drama in his office.

Do your work and go home.  You are not there for friendship.  You are there for your paycheck.  


 

I guess I forgot to mention that the Doc is aware of everything that goes on in his office, but does not enforce any rules even the receptionist who talks down to pt's, isn't disciplined!

I try to look at everything objectively and try to see it from everyone's view points.  My first comment would be, was it necessary to tell them the real reason that you called in sick?  Why give them any ammunition?  I assume you are entitled to sick days, floating holidays and vacation days.  Just call in and use one of those options. 

I would assume that there is resentment that you got a promotion after only 3 months when some of them have been there 15 to 20 years.  While I know that you mentioned that none of them would probably have wanted the job ... I think they probably would have still preferred to have been offered the option.  Now of course if none of them deserved it and they aren't hard workers, etc. that is another story.  While they might resent you from getting the position, at the end of the day, they need to get over it and move on.

With regards to the weight loss surgery, I think it is great that you talk about it, etc.  However, are you talking too much about it at the office?  Are they perceiving your talking about your surgery as "bragging"?  You mention that you "dress nice and always get looks".  Again, are they perceiving that as "you are better than them".  Are you telling them how many looks you get? 

Also, ho many people are in your office?  I assume it is a small workplace which typically is more Peyton Place than large companies, etc.  Is there anyone that you like at the office?  Try to form alliances with people that tend not to gossip as much.  Again, I am trying to look at it objectively.  Since I don't know any of the players, it would be hard for me to really know the dynamics of your office and what really is going on there. 

My advice to you is to limit your sharing of information with them.  Again, why give them ANY opportunity to trash talk you.  Just be professional in your job and courteous to your co-workers and hopefully in time things will improve.  Also, don't expect "The Dr" to step in on your behalf.  If there is a "ringleader" of the group that is making your work life miserable, confront them in private and respectfully.  Maybe if you have an "open" discussion with that person, you can both work on making some changes to make it a better work environment. 

I am very sorry that you are stressed all day at work.  We have also been going through a lot in my office.  We had 40% of our group laid off least year, and we are sort of in a hostile takeover situation so needless to say everyone is miserable.  Plus they keep making changes to HR policies that are not benefiting the workers.  While these things do suck, we just have to accept the fact that there are certain things in life that we cannot change and just have to go with the flow. 

I hope things get better for you at both your workplace and home.  Hang in there!