*update* how to handle a b**ch at work

So Blessed - You are absolutely correct. Many bosses, including the ones where I work, tend to believe that he who complains is the problem. I know you don't mean to but you are putting your boss in a bad position, and human nature dictates that he be resentful of you for that.

A friend of mine was being bullied at her job and filed a complaint with her boss.   The boss told her to take a few days off because she was so upset.  Next thing you know, the spineless boss had gotten together with the old biddies at work and trumped up a bunch of lies so they could get rid of her.  They sent her an e-mail and told her she was no longer allowed on the premises and that they would pack the contents of her desk for her.  She went up the chain through the corporate office and even though the boss had violated THEIR OWN POLICIES by firing her, they still stood behind him because he was useful.

These people don't care about being fair.

there is NO upside in having a round table discussion here.

you brought concerns to your boss, if he's uncomfortable with handling - you have 2 choices:   drop it or escalate above him.

i would drop it & my interaction with her would be in written format, copying your boss on any & all things.    this would also include declining a baby shower @ the office.

If you have that meeting,  be prepared for for her to pull a classic Erica Kane maneuver.

 "Wow, I feel like I've been blindsided.  I never knew that mauigirl had a problem with me.   We talk all the time.  I thought we were good friends.  I was even going to throw a shower for her here at work.  I am so shocked and hurt.  I can't understand why she doesn't like me."

Then the crocodile tears will start.

She will do everything in her power to turn it around and make you the bad guy to save her own behind.

I am in agreement with the folks that say tell your direct boss you will work this out yourself, then avoid this woman in any manner except business.  If your direct boss is calling in a higher up boss then it is going to become a bigger issue than you really want!   I had a similar problem with a co worker that kept telling me she knew all about the bosses income and had read my work profile and notes in my personnel file.  I did not complain, I just went in and asked my employer to please lock up my personnel files.  Of course he asked why and I said the other person had told me things he had written in it that had not been shared with me.  He terminated her the next day!  Good luck with this issue.  If she asks about a shower again tell her No Thanks, firmly.  You do not need to give her a reasson.

Hi All,

Thanks for all your comments. 

After much thought, I sent both of my supervisors and email this morning advising them I would like to handle this on my own and that I believe confronting the matter will only make the situation worse for me.  I told them I would rise above this and continue to do my job as I have the last 12 years and that the only thing that matters is that they are happy with my performance.  I closed with apologizing for wasting their time with such petty nonsense. 

We shall see what their response will be.  What a mess.  I need to learn to keep my mouth shut until I have had time to cool down.

The next time office ***** discusses something you know should not be I would simply walk away and if she asks why I would tell her I felt that conversation was violating protocol.  As far as the baby shower thats a mess I would simply tell her it wasn't necessary.  If your jobs are not connected stay away from her I mean be polite but professional and only talk to her when needed.  Also keep in mind that the "boss" knows what she is capable of and if she is telling you these things chances are she is telling others so eventually it will catch up. 

Good for you MauiGirl.  This will be so much less stress on you.  You'll see.

Take care!
Shae