Daily Atheist Devotional #195 (Atheist Terrorist Edition)

thatann
on 1/26/11 6:35 am - Syracuse-ish, NY
Aww, Ralph is cute! Plus you know I can't deny you anything, so...okay. Ralph is in. What should we do, just assume he was on the ark? (either as one of a pair or several dinosaurs, still waiting for divine clarification on that.) Maybe *****ie can get on the God Phone and GET US SOME ANSWERS!

After the final no there comes a yes
And on that yes the future of the world depends.
~Wallace Stevens

Terry B.
on 1/26/11 10:31 pm - Martinsville, IN
I think Ralph was a loner, But since I have not studied my Bible enough to have a quote for every question I do not have the wisdom of ***** to tell you the answer.  Of course, this IS Jesus we are talking about and His Dad was awful proud of Him, and may have given him Ralphie as a pet just because He asked!   (Injecting a little Christian humor here!  )  If God allowed those 2 ****roaches to get on the ark then why were unicorns left off?  And why mosquitos and crocodiles and not griffins ??  OHH my poor head, this is getting way too deep for me ... 

 

I am only one, But still, I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.  And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do
the something that I can do. 
  
    Edward Everett Hale
  
                    Onederland 1/26/2010    
    
 

thatann
on 1/27/11 1:23 am - Syracuse-ish, NY
Crocodiles because purses, ****roaches and mosquitos because they hired a PR firm. The unicorns and griffins stayed away because they were afraid of crocodiles.

There! I made it all better.

Now...can you please explain to me WHY *****IE IS STILL TALKING TO ME?? She excommunicated me last night! I thought I was off the hook. But today she's back...did she forget what she said last night? Please explain.

After the final no there comes a yes
And on that yes the future of the world depends.
~Wallace Stevens

Terry B.
on 1/27/11 1:30 am - Martinsville, IN
Thanks for the explanation, I will sleep better tonight.   So far as ***** goes I imagine God called and said to talk to ThatAnn today.??   In my opinion He likes you more than her...

 

I am only one, But still, I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.  And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do
the something that I can do. 
  
    Edward Everett Hale
  
                    Onederland 1/26/2010    
    
 

thatann
on 1/27/11 1:33 am - Syracuse-ish, NY
I just hope God never emails her, because no one should have to read her terrible grammar and textual usuage of U and UR and various other language atrocities. It would hurt God.

After the final no there comes a yes
And on that yes the future of the world depends.
~Wallace Stevens

Terry B.
on 1/27/11 1:49 am - Martinsville, IN


E Mail from God

 

I am only one, But still, I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.  And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do
the something that I can do. 
  
    Edward Everett Hale
  
                    Onederland 1/26/2010    
    
 

Lady Lithia
on 1/26/11 8:07 am


~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost! 
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
giraffesmiley.gif picture by hardyharhar_bucket

spunkie
on 1/26/11 7:25 am
I am so sorry that you can not comprehend ur examples.  Let me try to help you.  The Bible is written on a 6th/7th grade reading level and I guess that's just to hard for you huh??  The Bible is and ALWAYS will be the infallible word of GOD!!  and also the TRUTH!!  Again, I really do feel sorry for you.  ur picture makes you look so intelligent but like the old saying goes......never judge a book by its cover!!


For example...Luke reporting that Jesus told his disciples the apocalypse would happen during their lifetimes. Oopsie! That's a big **** up, huh??  nope another misinterpretation on your part it was a prophesy the Bible clearly says you will not know the day nor hour the Lord will come. 
 
Which part of Genesis is correct - the one that says Noah took TWO pair of animals on the ark, or seven? HOW CAN BOTH BE TRUE??? Oh, and also -  what's up with the bit about how eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge will kill you, yet Adam and Eve LIVE?  Noah DID take 2 of every animal on the ark and he also took an additional 7 to offer as a burnt offering to God.  Adam and Eve did die.  They died a spiritual death.   oopsie.......guess you missed that one huh?

You know the earth is older than 6,000 years, right? And Jesus didn't have a pet dinosaur, despite what you and Sarah Palin seem to believe. - nope the earth is just around 6000 years old.  dinosaurs  were around in old testament.  try reading Job.  oh never mind I forgot you have no comprehension skills


Try again Cupcake....ur still WRONG!!!!
thatann
on 1/26/11 8:16 am - Syracuse-ish, NY

THE BIBLE is not infallible...I just proved that and will do so again, since you need to hear things over and over and over, apparently.

But before I begin, let me just say that before you mock *my* education and reading/writing skills, you MIGHT want to try mastering the difficult task of spelling out "you're" instead of typing "ur" as you keep doing. I'm sure it's because you don't know when to use your vs. you're - or maybe just because you're catacylsmically stupid.


Now, back to Bible study. You didn't want to take Luke's word for it that Jesus was WRONG about the apocalypse happening during the apostle's lifetimes? Okay...how about....MATTHEW! Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

Now let's board the ark! Genesis 7:2 - Of every clean beast you shall take to you by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
And here's Genesis 7:9 There went in two and two to Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah. HMM! SEEMS WE HAVE AN ERROR, LORD!

They died a "spiritual" death? Really? That's the best you've got? Because if you SAY the bible is the word of GOD, then *****ie old sock...YOU ARE CHANGING THE WORD OF GOD.
"But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die." That's what the bible says. Now...you're editing GOD?

I've read Job. Now you try reading a ******g science textbook...maybe pop into a museum sometime. There are these things called facts, you see. Scientists use them to prove the earth is older than 6,000 years....and to prove you're a bonehead.

Please, don't make me smack you with the bible again.
 

After the final no there comes a yes
And on that yes the future of the world depends.
~Wallace Stevens

GreaterFool
on 1/26/11 8:40 am
Having been on both sides of this argument, I can tell you that each of these things are easily explainable with the right interpretation.  Of course, the right interpretation takes quite some mental gymnastics, mixed with selective ignorance to acheive, but there you go.  I guess I tired of mental gymnastics ;)

6000 year old earth, though, is one I am fortunate I never had to defend, as my flavor of fundementalism wasn't quite so literal.  It also helped that I never felt the need to read the scientific info about evolution, after all, my sect wouldn't mislead me, would they?
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