Jealous friends?

u can go to Chili's 6 weeks out, I ate the childs grilled chicken but next time I will order some soup.
They really warned us about this happening, so far it hasnt happened to me but it might!  I am a lot older than you though, so its not like I am a threat to get a guy they want, lol.

Talk about your health getting better to them.  Tell them that now you can bend over and tie your shoes.  They have no clue how hard this process is. 

Hi Rebecca,

You should really have a heart to heart with both of your friends.  Many times we misinterpret someone's thoughts, feelings and actions.   For all you know, they may be at home thinking that every since you had your surgery, you no longer want to hang out with them.  The easiest way to clear it up is by having a conversation with them. 

I actually did have a heart to heart the one time I did see them and they had nothing to say unfortunately. They were never supportive of me even having the surgery in the first place. They didn't understand that it was for my health and they said I was "taking the easy way out" which was definately not the case and even after telling them the work and all of the problems I have had so far they still didn't understand. Sad to see when people let their true colors show.

Wow, that sucks. 

Have they done something similar in the past?  For example, belittle your decisions, haven't been there when you needed them, or ignored your feelings?   If so, dumping them as friends is probably the best decision for you.  It's a form of control.  Do as I say, or I'll punish you by withholding my love and support.   When you have a friend (or family member) who is willing to end a relationship with you because they disagree, let them go.  No need to keep negative people in your life.

If on the other hand they have been great friends to you before you had surgery, try to forgive them and work it out. 

 

 

Yeah they have done things in the past like that which I just brushed off until now, like them not being happy for me when I got a good job, got accepted into grad school, got a new car...things like that they never have been happy about. Dumping them as friends sounds like the right decision.

It is very disheartening when people can't see past their own insecurities and celebrate with you on your victories.

I've lost 2 very close friends, both being obese, since losing weight. They think I took the easy way out instead of embracing my size, and fighting for "size acceptance". I told both of them I'm ready to fight for my health, and future life. They both were angered by my choice to have surgery. They both scolded me for my decision and choice.

You know what I finally told them? And I quote : " Jealousy is like a bad cold, and I sincerely hope you get well soon."

And, how ignorant of them to complain that you can't eat at Chili's. That place is a toxic waste plant of some of the unhealthiest, and largest portions of many restaurants.

http://frenchcuisine.suite101.com/article.cfm/health_magazine_grades_worst_restaurant_chains

Chili’s – Slipped from C- last year. “Monster burgers and 2,000-calorie starters." Multiple award winner including the winner of ETNT’s “Worst Chicken Entrée" with their 2040-calorie Honey Chipotle Crispers with Chipotle Sauce and “Worst Starter," the 2710-calorie Awesome Blossom. Also “Worst Dessert" with their 1600-calorie “Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream." 2009 looks like another banner year for Chili’s, winning “Worst Mexican Entrée of 2009" for their 1730-calorie Chicken Fajitas with The Works (Ranch Dressing, Guacamole, Sour Cream, Cheese, and Pico de Gallo + 4 tortillas) and “Worst Burger of 2009" for the Bacon Triple-The-Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing at 2040 calories, 4900 mg of sodium and 150 grams of fat. It’s good to excel at something. Right?
Read more at Suite101: Health Magazine Grades Worst Restaurant Chains: Denny's Drops From B to D-plus, Baja Fresh Scores a D-minus http://frenchcuisine.suite101.com/article.cfm/health_magazin e_grades_worst_restaurant_chains#ixzz0jLrJItXF

It really is and it honestly breaks my heart to see my two closest friends of 7 years act like this. They have some similar things in the past but nothing that bothered me this much...it just took this to make me realize that. I wouldn't even want to eat at Chili's if I could...why open it back up and be in that atmosphere that got me to where I am today? I get that I will eventually have to eat out but for as long as I can, I won't.  I couldn't sit there and eat some nasty soup while they chow down on those 2000 calorie burgers that I can't eat!

Going out to eat doesn't have to be all about the food. It SHOULD be all about the friendship, and you could eat that "nasty soup" and get YOUR pleasure out of being with your friends.

Looks to me like there are two sides to this story.

You are an exceptionally beautiful girl!  At least when you were obese, your friends may have thought the playing field was level. You had the beauty- they had the bods.  Now they see you have the whole package and it throws their sense of reality for a loop.  As sad as it is to admit- many years ago when I was a curvey but normal sized girl- I would always have a fat friend to hang out with.  I do not know if this was by design or not, but I do know the boys paid much more attention to me and I held the most control in the friendship. Your friends may have felt this way also and now they feel somehow betrayed by your weight loss and jealous! When they compare themselves to you ( as most all girls compare themselves to others) they may feel like they come up short.  
I would try and be patient with them as they redefine their perception of you andalso I would  work on building other close friends at the same time.  It seems to be a common theme that people who lose a bunch of weight sometimes have to "restructure" some of their relationships.  I hope those girls will prove worthy of your friendship! 
Congratulations on your 45lb weight loss! Way to Go!!!!
Renee

Well seeing as they were never supportive of my surgery in the first place saying that I was "cheating or taking the easy way out"  that was a side. Also, them not respecting my wishes, not to go out to eat where I'm not ready for that enviroment mentally. They weren't happy with ANY other suggestions where we could of shared our friendship and were only open to eating out.  So you are right there is another side, two friends scared to see the fat girl blossom into something much more and possibly take some of their limelight. Thank you for all of the positive feedback from everyone who understood.