Calling my secretary to ask if I had Surgery???

I fully understand the OP problem with this individual going to such great lengths to find out if she had surgery. What I don't understand is everyone's reasoning to not want anyone to know they had surgery? Maybe I have not had the same experiences that everyone else has had but I don't have a problem telling anyone if they ask. I am only a couple weeks out but even before surgery, I didn't wear a banner that said "hey, I'm having WLS" but if the conversation came up, I'd tell them. Now post op, again, if the conversation comes up, I'll tell them. Everyone has been very supportive, I'm sure the day will come when someone will say something like it's the easy way out but that's their opinion. I did this for me so other's thoughts are theirs and have nothing to do with me. I did a lot of research and planning, I know for me, I made the right decision, it is too bad if others don't feel the same way.

I hope I don't get flamed for this as I have ran across many forked tongued people on this board. I mean no disrespect to anyone for not wanting to tell, just wondered if there were reasons I had not thought of.

no flames.

i also don't equate non disclosure w/being ashamed.

my family knows & is supportive - the rest see my dedication to exercise & proper nutrition.....all that's true.   i just enjoy my privacy - if someone is really interested, they can go on a run with me:)

if that were me I would either say, its none of your business what I have done, its personal. Or to save an over and over again hiding it, just tell them!

That is precisely why I was honest with my coworkers.

Just my opinion- but to hide it from people, to me, some how makes it seem like I am ashamed. Which, I am not.

I chose to get my life back via modern medicine.
I'm proud of that decision.

Being an open book works better for me...in all aspects of my life.

It was pretty brazen of her to call your secretary!

That said, I think you are assuming that people would gossip about you or be the food police.  I have told absolutely everyone at work and in my personal life about my surgery.  I think it would be very hard to keep it secret.  Plus, some people want to know about it because they are considering surgery or have a loved one who is interested.  I think it's good to be open and honest about it because doing so has the potential to help others.

I haven't had a single person react negatively to my surgery.  No one has ever said anything to me about my food choices or that I took the "easy" way out.  I don't know if people talk about me behind my back, but if they do, so what?  I don't care and I can't control what people talk about anyway.  If they don't talk about my weight, they'll find something else to talk about -- my hair, my clothes, my hair - anything.

It's up to you what you do, but I think it's going to be hard to keep it secret especially since you did tell 4 people at your work.  One of them may spill the beans or even just raise their eyebrows if someone brings the subject up and says you deny having surgery.

Just my .02.

Three out of four people that I told at work were upper management. I felt I had to let them know because of the length of time I'd be out for surgery and should something go wrong they would not be shocked that I was in the hospital in the first place. Now, two of them responded with are you ready for the physical and mental changes your about to go through? They also drilled me to see if I had done my research and I had. I was really disappointed that I had to defend my decision to them, even if they were my superiors. Most of my immediate family was against my decision and I was alone in my early stages. Now that its over and my family sees my progress they are fine, so are my superiors. (mostly worried for me I think). For these reasons, I kept it to myself.

I totally understand why you want to keep it to yourself. That would upset me too, that's sweet your secretary thought on her feet!  I don't think there's anything you can do about it.  Regardless if they're wrong or not, many people are very judgemental about the surgery. I have the same issue with people in my family. I only told my mom and totally regret it--it's only caused me major grief and we ended up no longer talking. I truly think unless someone has been obese and researched it, they won't be empathetic.

Thanks for understanding, so sorry about you and your mom. So sad.

How bold are you, Janet?
If you've got the balls to do it, call her out on it.  Give her a call or meeting request and tell her that you don't appreciate going behind your back asking about things that are none of her business.  Threaten to go to HR, for that could be teetering along the lines of harassment, or at the very least, creating a hostile work environment.

Now, for the work thing, yeah, it will eventually come out, and when it does, you have a lie in your history now that you've gone and publicly denied it all.  It may make you lose some credibility with your peers.  I'm not saying it's right, but it is what it is. 

Everyone should keep in mind that if they want the office to not know what you're doing, don't tell a single soul about it.  Everyone has a friend or two that they confide in, and it's not always jsut you.  The other risk is that without telling them, that you leave free reign for them to come up with whatever explanation they wish to explain your rapid weight loss.  Before you know it, a fund could be started for the sake of your children after you die of some fatal disease they've conjured up.

Typical nosey office person... you could make up a good rumor about yourself.. say you dont eat anything of a certain color any more... mondays you dont eat red food, tuesdays green lmfao... or find some crazy diet and say you are follow that... even if she thinks she knows or somebody tells her its not the truth if it doesnt come from you. My favorite answer was 'physician directed weight loss program' and leave it at that...