Some people are blessed!!

It seems easy for someone who had been able to lose weight with certain surgery to counsel less fortunate individuals. But, please have some empathy and don't  forget the years without that successful surgery!!!

Dear Chabela,
I was 56 1/2 yrs. old when I underwent RNY; I was put on my first calorie-counting diet at age 4. I have lost weight on every diet and diet-pill known in the West in that time; and, I have gained it back - and more! There is no way I have forgotten my LIFETIME of living with obesity, then morbid obesity.

Since my childhood, I have lived with the depression that my identity as a "fat girl" was linked with.

I have watched others who had their RNY with the same doc around the same time as me go through the exhilaration and triumph of being transformed into glamorous beauties only to gain back almost half their weight within 5 years.

I coach precisely because I do care and it does break my heart to see or hear about another "WLS failure."

Yes, some people are more fortunate than others. On the other hand, some people make their luck. In your case, it seems that you have been content to let others' feelings mean more than your own.

For example, you posted that you were afraid to go ask your surgeon for your medical records to send to another surgeon for your consult, so you are in a holding pattern. You also posted that your hubby does not want you to get another surgery. And now it seems you actually give a rat's ass about what people on an online message board think about you. See a common theme here?

People like you are ripe for the picking by "life coaches" and such. You will be their client for YEARS because you want someone to tell you what you should do. You probably have a lot of useless, time-sucking "friends" in yoru life, too. Time to clean house, I say.

When you are ready to take charge of your health and life is the time you will be ready to succeed.

BTW, I think the band sucks and that you were sold an inferior product by an inferior surgeon. It is NOT you fault the band failed you. What YOU do after the band failed you is completely up to you.

You owe it to yourself to get a consult with a surgeon who can do more than install a band or do a RNY. To find such a unique creature, visit the surgeon list at www.dsfacts.com. Call one of those closest to you and see if they do a variety of surgeries. (Lost of docs say they do the DS just to get you in the door and then really do not do it). Ask that doc which surgery they recommend for YOU, based on your anatomy, your eating habits, etc. Then think about yourself and what it would take for you to be successful.

Best of luck to you.

Nicolle

Dear Nicolle,
Your  straightforward reply is very, very helpful. You'r very intelligent, assertive and sensible person. Thank you. Love, Chabela

For the record, this life coach works with each new client in a structured 12-week Foundation Program that teaches how to master their own self-sabotage mechanisms. It is designed to produce confidence in one's own ability to be the world's foremost expert on one's self! Once completed, that's it! I deplore coaches, clergy or therapists who need to make themselves indispensable to their clients/ parishioners/ patients.

I rarely work with clients who have completed the Foundation Program; and do so only if/when they contact me to help them through a very specific, finite situation or challenge - not to tell them what to do, but as a sounding board/ support resource to make it safe for them to search their own solutions and strategies.

My articles, blog posts and videos are full of practical information that anyone is free to employ in their own successful WL program. I am delighted to freely share what I have learned and experienced through not only the 7 years post-op but my lifetime (all 62+ years) of dealing with weight, diet and "living from the neck up!"

Sometimes a little wake up call is in order. When someone comes here 5 years post op saying they haven't changed any of their behaviors, they don't want to exercise, they don't want to hurt their doctor's feelings by asking for medical recordsfor a new physician... somehow the message needs to be put out there that weight loss is part surgery and a lot of personal motivation. Do you think we'd be doing favors by patting the person on the head and reinforcing that it's not their responsibility to get through this journey?

I'm not a head patter, never have been. You have to want weight loss enough to get out there and do what is necessary.

Thank you, your words remind me of my brother's who says that WLS is for weak people.

WLS is NOT for weak people! 

As a matter of fact, I counsel weak people NOT to have WLS because they will not be as likely to advocate for themselves, they are more likely to listen to their surgeons when the sugeons are giving crap advice about diet and nutrients, they are more likely to believe anything they read and grasp at straws! 

Has your brother ever been more than 100# overweight?  If not, he doesn't know what he is talking about!

Good grief!

BTW... I'm not blessed because I am at goal, I busted my butt to get here. I worked on my head issues, I exercised like a fiend, I kept calories at 600 a day. I worked hard, blessings have nothing in the world to do with it.

God didn't do the work, *I* did.

Congratulations, WLS gave you the strenght to be a different person.