I change my Mind

The finances are certainly a huge obstacle. But they could be overcome.

You are in far greater danger of dying from morbid obesity than you are of dying or having long term complications from surgery.

But the bottom line is, you are not ready to move forward. That's okay. When you're ready, you'll be ready to overcome any obstacles, and you will find ways to make it happen.

okay so here i am one of the ones that did have complications after suregery!!! OMG!!!! i had a blood clot and a ulser after surgery and yes it was rought at times but you get through it. buddy you need to wake up and realize that god is with you everyday in everything you do and hell the risk of walking down the street is higher. with all the drunk drivers and crazy road rage people driving you better stay home in your bed cause you MIGHT get hit by a car!!!! people who know me know i am not usually this nasty when replying to a post but dude you need a reality check! with that attitude you will stay fat and tired. god put the thought in your head for a reason now take it and run with it. you really need some help and education on the surgery. if not dont be hanging around asking for a "feel sorry for me cause i am fat" speech.

The hardest thing to overcome is fear. I see that you are afraid because of the stories you have heard. I heard the same stories. I think we all did. Stories from people who think they are helping you but in reality they are only hurting you.
 
Yes there can be complications with any surgery. I, myself, suffered a big post op bleed and needed a second surgery so they can and do happen. I'm still here, alive and kicking. If you are going to develop a bleed post op, it will most likely be while you are still in hospital and will be quickly and easily caught. You are closely monitored until you leave so don't let the fear of a bleed stop you.
 
I am not a devout person but spent my youth in church and I believe that God gave us the tools to be the best we can be. We only have to use what God has given to us. WLS is only a tool.

Nobody can talk you either into or out of surgery and YOU must be ready. If you are not, that's fine too but don't write it off completely. Stay on this board and read and lurk. You will see for yourself there are not that many complications post op. As someone else said there are ways around the money issue and if you really want it, you will find a way.
 
Best of luck and stay well. When you are ready, you will know.

Your post made me curious more than anything about this one central question: why did you post this? If you decided to not have the surgery, why could you not simply be content with your decision and go about your life? Your post is fraught with misinformation and fear-mongering. It's ok for you to opt out, I respect that but your reasons are faulty to say the least and this sort of post serves no one who is looking for valid, trustworthy information so that they can make the best informed decisions for themselves. I wish you all good things in your life as you continue to strive toward getting your weight off and remedying your health issues due to morbid obesity. But I don't support self-pity and ignorance in the process, choosing WLS or not - Maureen

I was wondering the same thing, Reenie. What was the purpose of this?  Seriously..and now he probably isn't even going to respond to anything that has been said here.

Attention.

All I can say is good luck to you in whatever you decide. I agree with some that you have to wait until/if you are ready. To all the others, go stuff it. No one asked you to trash him or make him feel horrible. I imagine he already does.  Living that far away from a surgeon can't be easy. Did one of you ever stop to ask yourself if he has the support structure you do? Probably not. Easier to make someone feel like crap just to make yourself feel better. Here is what really irks me sometimes on this board: You can trash someone from here to kingdom come if they say something you don't like. In the same breath, you ask for someone to help you. Get off it and get over it. Surgery is not for everyone. Some people with certain co-morbidities have a higher risk of not making it through the surgery. I have met 3 people, 2 women and one man, who decided NOT to get any WL surgery because they would rather live what life they could than take the 1/50 risk of death on the table because of their weight/health status. I guess some people need to get their one little stab in. Do you remember the people who spoke behind your back when you were fat? The ones that did it and you really got your feelings hurt? You just joined their club. Hope you enjoy life on the other side. 

H

Nope, I never made fun of him because he was fat.  I do think he is letting his fear get the better of him AND using Jesus as an excuse for his martyrdom.

Heather, none of us are trying to trash him.  We are simply speaking the truth in reality.  The decision to have weight loss surgery is a very personal one and wasn't easy for any of us.  But when you come on here as he has and say the things that he has you are going to provoke quite a reaction from those of us who have fought our way to be where we are today!!!  So we know without any doubts that his attitude right now is a total cop out!!!!  It doesn't help anyone to simply say bless your little heart, well you're probably right....just keep on feeling sorry for yourself.  He has to want to help himself before anyone else can help.    We are NOT like the people who spoke behind our backs about being fat.  We are trying to encourage him to make choices to better his health and that includes whether he chooses to have surgery or not.  Fear can paralyze you and keep you from making choices that are better for you.  When you speak of co-morbidities.....making the surgery more risky that is something only he and his doctors would know.  Not for any of us to decide that's for sure.  But let me make this perfectly clear....I had weight loss surgery 18 months ago and yet I still come to the OH website EVERY DAY for inspiration.  The people here have helped me through many a day that I was struggling or just depressed.  We have all been on this journey together so please don't YOU come on here and begin to trash those of us who have fought this battle and are winning when we try to encourage someone who is little paralyzed with his own FEARs and afraid to even take the first steps......

I think the biggest issue is why even post the message like that.  What is to gain unless he is trying to get people to change his mind.  Yes, it is a very personal and important decision to make and most people on the site have made the choice.  And the ones that change their mind, well problably don't post any longer.