My Dear Beloved OH Friends I Have some very sad news
Tami,
My mom, my sister and my best friend all suffer(ed) from the same condition. Let me explain a bit.
My sister tried to end it all only once, to my knowledge, and was unsuccessful and my parents forced her to have therapy and medication even though she was in her very early twenties and didn't live at home. It worked to a degree and she died of mostly natural, unrelated issues at 29 on July 29, 1997.
My mother tried (unsuccessfully) to end things several times when I was little and my dad forced therapy and eventually she was better and survived the condition (fairly well****il she died of mostly natural, unrelated issues at 59 on July 29, 2004.
(I say mostly natural, unrelated issues because I think whether we heal of a certain condition or not has A LOT to do with our outlook and our state of mind. Both of my women were Bipolar so I'm not sure they had what it took to get better from their conditions and I'm not sure they didn't ignore the symptoms longer than the average person because they were depressed...one will never know.)
My best friend of 26 years, suffers from it and about once a month to six months I've got to talk her off "the ledge" and deal with some sort of cup-half-empty related issue. She's tried to end it all more times than I can count. I love her dearly and we've been through a lot, but it does get hard at times because I'm totally the opposite in my outlook and life.
I've personally only been through any major depression when the above people have died. Also, my daughter who was 1 week old and born 4 months early died on Jan 15, 2003 and I was obviously depressed for a bit then too. I'm not going to say that July 29th and Jan 15th aren't hard for me, but I get through them.
I say all that to say this: I KNOW your hunnie will hear you and watch over you and love you for the rest of your life and beyond. There have been many times I've felt their presence, had dreams about them and heard their voices in my mind responding to a clear thought I had. There are many other times I talk to them or send a thought to them and I know they hear me. Know this in your heart because it's true and there have been enough people that have come through this world and proved this point.
I also want to say that I KNOW the disease/condition and it's a ***** and nothing to play with. It's a very pervasive condition and no matter how much we love these people or tell them otherwise, nothing is right, good or happy. It's very sad, indeed.
I've always felt like I knew all about it. I knew the drill and maybe I could help my best friend because I've seen it and been there. Well, it has recently occured to me that there IS nothing I can do. If she really wants to end it all, it's going to happen and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Despite my best efforts, her attempt will be successful and I'm going to lose her.
Does this make me sad? More than words can express, but as I've been thinking about her severe depression and the fact that it hasn't let up almost at all in the past year, something has become abundantly clear to me that I will share. It has occured to me that no matter how much we hate it, our loved ones are going to pass from this world when they're meant to. Sometimes it's our job to see their pain and sometimes we aren't. Whether it be by natural means, an accident or by our own hands, it's God's will.
Is it fair? Nope. It sure does suck and it's not cool to be the one left behind wondering if there's anything we could have done and trying to pick up the pieces. I've been through losing someone close to me in my life 3 times, as I said, and my job at this point is to live well, laugh often, dance and thank them for making me a stronger person by being a success, expressing empathy and compassion, seeing just how much I can do in this world and how far I can go.
When my daughter died, I wanted to show her how much I loved her and thanked her for sharing even a tiny bit of her life with me (7 months in my womb and 1 week in this world) by doing whatever it took to heal well and do well. I didn't want there to be any question in her or anyone elses eyes that my life wasn't worth living or that I regretted that she had been here.
I also had to live for my other child. At the time our son was almost 4 years old and he needed me. Remember the reason you did the surgery in the first place: to be healthy and to live a longer life as well as have a better quality of life. Succeed and be happy and thank your darling husband for staying around in this world that was no longer for him long enough to get you as far as you've come. This is the way it was meant to be. Think about the fact that you might not have had the strength to start the journey without him.
Good luck, sweetie and GOD BLESS. Time will heal this wound as it does all others.
Oh, and sorry about the long post. I'm a writer/author and I can't help writing another book when I get going sometimes.
My mom, my sister and my best friend all suffer(ed) from the same condition. Let me explain a bit.
My sister tried to end it all only once, to my knowledge, and was unsuccessful and my parents forced her to have therapy and medication even though she was in her very early twenties and didn't live at home. It worked to a degree and she died of mostly natural, unrelated issues at 29 on July 29, 1997.
My mother tried (unsuccessfully) to end things several times when I was little and my dad forced therapy and eventually she was better and survived the condition (fairly well****il she died of mostly natural, unrelated issues at 59 on July 29, 2004.
(I say mostly natural, unrelated issues because I think whether we heal of a certain condition or not has A LOT to do with our outlook and our state of mind. Both of my women were Bipolar so I'm not sure they had what it took to get better from their conditions and I'm not sure they didn't ignore the symptoms longer than the average person because they were depressed...one will never know.)
My best friend of 26 years, suffers from it and about once a month to six months I've got to talk her off "the ledge" and deal with some sort of cup-half-empty related issue. She's tried to end it all more times than I can count. I love her dearly and we've been through a lot, but it does get hard at times because I'm totally the opposite in my outlook and life.
I've personally only been through any major depression when the above people have died. Also, my daughter who was 1 week old and born 4 months early died on Jan 15, 2003 and I was obviously depressed for a bit then too. I'm not going to say that July 29th and Jan 15th aren't hard for me, but I get through them.
I say all that to say this: I KNOW your hunnie will hear you and watch over you and love you for the rest of your life and beyond. There have been many times I've felt their presence, had dreams about them and heard their voices in my mind responding to a clear thought I had. There are many other times I talk to them or send a thought to them and I know they hear me. Know this in your heart because it's true and there have been enough people that have come through this world and proved this point.
I also want to say that I KNOW the disease/condition and it's a ***** and nothing to play with. It's a very pervasive condition and no matter how much we love these people or tell them otherwise, nothing is right, good or happy. It's very sad, indeed.
I've always felt like I knew all about it. I knew the drill and maybe I could help my best friend because I've seen it and been there. Well, it has recently occured to me that there IS nothing I can do. If she really wants to end it all, it's going to happen and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Despite my best efforts, her attempt will be successful and I'm going to lose her.
Does this make me sad? More than words can express, but as I've been thinking about her severe depression and the fact that it hasn't let up almost at all in the past year, something has become abundantly clear to me that I will share. It has occured to me that no matter how much we hate it, our loved ones are going to pass from this world when they're meant to. Sometimes it's our job to see their pain and sometimes we aren't. Whether it be by natural means, an accident or by our own hands, it's God's will.
Is it fair? Nope. It sure does suck and it's not cool to be the one left behind wondering if there's anything we could have done and trying to pick up the pieces. I've been through losing someone close to me in my life 3 times, as I said, and my job at this point is to live well, laugh often, dance and thank them for making me a stronger person by being a success, expressing empathy and compassion, seeing just how much I can do in this world and how far I can go.
When my daughter died, I wanted to show her how much I loved her and thanked her for sharing even a tiny bit of her life with me (7 months in my womb and 1 week in this world) by doing whatever it took to heal well and do well. I didn't want there to be any question in her or anyone elses eyes that my life wasn't worth living or that I regretted that she had been here.
I also had to live for my other child. At the time our son was almost 4 years old and he needed me. Remember the reason you did the surgery in the first place: to be healthy and to live a longer life as well as have a better quality of life. Succeed and be happy and thank your darling husband for staying around in this world that was no longer for him long enough to get you as far as you've come. This is the way it was meant to be. Think about the fact that you might not have had the strength to start the journey without him.
Good luck, sweetie and GOD BLESS. Time will heal this wound as it does all others.
Oh, and sorry about the long post. I'm a writer/author and I can't help writing another book when I get going sometimes.
Love & Belief, LeJoy R.
Read a good book lately? Try mine! (Pen name: Janette Lewie)
"Sonya Recovered." Available through Amazon.com and through my website!
www.gentleillumination.com
Read a good book lately? Try mine! (Pen name: Janette Lewie)
"Sonya Recovered." Available through Amazon.com and through my website!
www.gentleillumination.com
TAMI R
I remember being taught in Private school that when we meet our maker, He heals and makes us perfect again. And as long as we believe in the Almighty, we will live on for ever.
And even though your hubby is not here with you physically, You can bet that in the future that when you need him things will happen to let you know that he is still with you and your family.
It can be the strangest things . Like you might think of a good time you had on a vacation. And then a photo of that vacation will be somewhere that you least expect it. And you will know he is thinking of you too.
I am so sorry for your loss, and my the almighty be with you on your journey. God's peace and love to you and your family
"When we stop running away from the situation that is scary - that is the moment we discover how strong we really are. So, acknowledge your strength...rejoice in it...and start breathing in life, as the beautiful, strong soul (being) that you truly are." - Rachna Sirtaj.......Love & Peace
(((Hugs))), Tami.
I want to envelop you in my arms, my friend. I am so sorry to hear this tragic news. I have been through loss but not yours.
You asked if your husband can see what's going on here on earth, if he can hear you talk to him. Let's look at some scripture. Hebrews 12:1 talks about a great cloud of witnesses who watch us and encourage us as we run this race of life. In the parable in Luke 16:23-26, we see that those in hell can see those in heaven, for sure, and Lazarus in hell is concerned that his family on earth be told the truth so they don't end up in hell. I don't believe that those in heaven know anything sad that's going on here, because Revelation 21:4 tells us that there are no tears in heaven. If they know what's going on here, they must only know about the happy things. Therefore, the best course of action is for you and your children to rejoice, even in your grief, to remember the good times, and to think and talk about the joys and health that your husband and your children's father is experiencing now.
While you do not want to do something strange, like try to contact your husband through a medium [or whatever], if it comforts you to talk to him, then do so. I know you are trying to be strong for your children, but be sure to give yourself time to grieve and a healthy outlet for your grief.
May the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, surround you with great love, and know that I am praying for you and your dear family.
(((Prayers))),
Mary
I want to envelop you in my arms, my friend. I am so sorry to hear this tragic news. I have been through loss but not yours.
You asked if your husband can see what's going on here on earth, if he can hear you talk to him. Let's look at some scripture. Hebrews 12:1 talks about a great cloud of witnesses who watch us and encourage us as we run this race of life. In the parable in Luke 16:23-26, we see that those in hell can see those in heaven, for sure, and Lazarus in hell is concerned that his family on earth be told the truth so they don't end up in hell. I don't believe that those in heaven know anything sad that's going on here, because Revelation 21:4 tells us that there are no tears in heaven. If they know what's going on here, they must only know about the happy things. Therefore, the best course of action is for you and your children to rejoice, even in your grief, to remember the good times, and to think and talk about the joys and health that your husband and your children's father is experiencing now.
While you do not want to do something strange, like try to contact your husband through a medium [or whatever], if it comforts you to talk to him, then do so. I know you are trying to be strong for your children, but be sure to give yourself time to grieve and a healthy outlet for your grief.
May the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, surround you with great love, and know that I am praying for you and your dear family.
(((Prayers))),
Mary
"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how BIG your God is!"
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
ObesityHelp Support Group Leader and Support Group Coach
Tami I am so sorry about your loss. I have had loved ones close to me go home to be with Jesus. It is not easy though. We are the ones left mourning. They are in Heaven. That is the ulitmate prize. We do not mourn for them being in Heaven we mourn for it is our loss and God's gain. I am praying for you and your family. I thank God that you have a relationship with God and He will help you through this. I do not know if I could manage such a loss with out God. I know God will bless you and keep you.
In Christ
Karyn
P.S. to Mary thanks for sharing these scriptures. We can always count on God talking through you to us.
In Christ
Karyn
P.S. to Mary thanks for sharing these scriptures. We can always count on God talking through you to us.
I am so sorry for you and your family, You are a beautiful person; I can tell by your entry above. You husband is with Jesus, you can speak to him in prayers along with your husband. You must stay strong for yourself and family. I am glad they are giving him full honors. God be with you my friend.
HIGHEST/298- SURGERY/276- CURRENT/ 217
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I too suffer from Bi-Polar and MDD ,so, I really understand what he was going through. Life is tough when you have a mental illness. My grandmother suffered from mental illnesses and she tried several times to end her life but was unsuccessful. I'm just so sorry that this tragic thing happened to your family. My heart breaks for you. I can only imagine how you must feel. I'll be here for you if you need to talk....take care and remember your husband is in heaven with GOD now.
Tami,
While I am not sure of any scripture that demonstrates that those in heaven can see us in any way, I believe in the communion of the saints. What this means to me is that those saints who have gone ahead into Heaven are unified with the saints still here. We share a purpose and a Savior, no matter where we are in our spiritual life.
God will bless you by sending His Holy Spirit to comfort you while you work and pray your way through this. We all love and support you, as well.
((((HUGS))))
Kathy
While I am not sure of any scripture that demonstrates that those in heaven can see us in any way, I believe in the communion of the saints. What this means to me is that those saints who have gone ahead into Heaven are unified with the saints still here. We share a purpose and a Savior, no matter where we are in our spiritual life.
God will bless you by sending His Holy Spirit to comfort you while you work and pray your way through this. We all love and support you, as well.
((((HUGS))))
Kathy
Kathy!(Pre-op: 5'2", 292/277/148-Highest/at WLS/Current)
Let God's presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
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