I lost over 230 lbs! Coming to terms with me. LONG!

First of all I have to say you look remarkable and what a tremendous feeling of accomplishment you must have.  You have lost so much you just can't help but feeling good.  Congratulations to you and your story touched me as well.  I too had feelings (still do) of inferiority among others while being out and about and used my sense of humor to adapt to most situation while deep down, I still felt so lonely and depressed.  I am  a little over 9 months out and have lost a little over 160lbs now.  I am plateauing and am very frightend of doing anything wrong or seeing any increase on my scale.  The thought of going back to my starting size of over 416lbs is terrifying to me.  This site has been a blessing to me also, I use it has guidance, listening to others, getting ideas and reaching out.  All these things have helped me along the way.  It's people out there like you that I like to read about and can associate with the best. Sometimes you feel so alone but then realize there are others out there that are going through or have gone through the same thing you yourself are experiencing.  So thank you for sharing your story with us.  It just keeps everything more real to me to know so many others have the same "issues" and I'm not alone.  Thanks for my dose of daily inspiration.  You look wonderful.

Jenny R.

Hi Jenny,

Thank you so much for your post and for sharing with me! I understand the fear you are experiencing and I know many of us go through that. You have come such a long way and those days can stay far behind us as long as we work this tool and stick together!

I can't tell you what it means to me to know that others relate. I guess we all want to be understood and here at OH-I think we have a good chance of that!

Thanks again so very much!
Peace,
T

You Know after reading this there is so much more to just losing the weight. I know its a change in life but still I feel that it's so much more. I to feel alone and some time lost. I don't have friends not true friends. Yes I ask my self who am I? Where am I going from here. What must I do to truely live my life. I've come so far and yet I feel as if I have so much farther to go.

Hi!

Thanks so much for this post. YOU have really come a long way in a short time. I do think it causes us to be a bit disoriented in MANY ways.

I am going to go add you as a friend so we can stay in touch. It sounds like we have LOTS in common.

Thanks for posting and you are doing SO very well!! Hang in there too!

Peace,
T

Going on my fifth month after RNY...Not only is my body transforming, but my mind, wants and needs..for so long I shut others out and this is truly the journey of my life.

Hey Lizbeth,

You put that so well! The journey of your life!! SOOOO true!! Congrats on your surgery AND your new beginning!

Peace,
T

You are so right!  There IS a lot more to this journey than just losing the weight.  We truly reinvent ourselves as we progress.  Many of us missed out on things before our weight loss because we weren't invited or just didn't feel comfy going and doing them.  Now, we often still miss out on things because in our minds we still are fat and ungainly and probably can't/shouldn't do those things.  It is HARD to get past that!  I still catch myself turning away from store aisles that are crowded as in my mind I won't fit down through there without embarassing myself!  In reality, I am not any bigger than most of the other folks in that aisle, but in my head, my ass is still HUGE and I would be like an elephant pushing its way down a tunnel.....  How do we ever completely erase those thoughts?????  Hard,....very hard!  But, we journey along and we try!  Over time, we may just get there!

Hugs girl!  Keep your chin up and stick around!
Lea

You rock. Really. I relate to what you've written in so many ways. For years I allowed my weight to be a barrier and have found it very difficult to really connect with people. I have friends and acquaintances but I've been so used to protecting myself from rejection that it's very difficult for me to 'let people in' in a meaningful way. The emotional side of the aftermath of surgery is so much more difficult than the physical. You've come a long way, and you deserve every bit of every success you have. You deserve love and friendship and all of the wonderful things that come with both. I think as post-op folks who have convinced ourselves otherwise for so long it's hard to believe. But we will get there, we're on our way! And if you ever want to have coffee, I'm in London! 

Hey DC!!

Wonderful to see you! Hubby was just near there today to do a wedding gig. He is a musician.

Thank you SO much for this post. It IS good to know we are not alone. It must be part of the self-esteem thing that causes us to think that NO ONE else could be going through this. Yet-here we all are-totally relating to each other's experiences! Amazing, really.

I really think in the future we are going to see more about the emotional aftermath-as you so well put it! I hope we do and maybe we can add to it by continuing to speak up and share it.

I WOULD love to do coffee with you one day! How much fun would that be. Plus-I LOVE London! It's gorgeous there.

Thanks and Hugs to you!!
Peace,
T

Hi Therese!

Your story hits home for me as well.  In fact, it reminds me a lot of the first blog post I made on here.  I had a group of girlfriends who like to get together and do things.  We're all into crafts so mostly it revolves around that.  Well, one day they decided they wanted to do pedicures.  The month before that it was facials.  The facials were great!  But the pedicures... I made up a lie to skip it.  I couldn't even TOUCH my toes, let alone give myself a pedicure.  So I lied to my friends and told them I couldn't go....

Today this same group of friends is getting together to meet the daughter of one of our group.  There are going to be people there I've never met.  I just found out this morning that my closest friend is going to a wedding and won't be there.  She was my life line!  I was in a panic.  But you know what?  The friend whose daughter is visiting is just a year out of RNY herself, so I am going anyway.  I am going to support HER showing off her daughter.  I am NOT going to keep my weight from enjoying my friends and being there for them.  I've shut myself off from them for too long...

So I might be uncomfortable for a few minutes... SO WHAT?  I'm NEVER going to stop being uncomfortable if I don't put myself out there...

So thank you for your post.  It helped me make the decision to go and not shut myself off.

HUGS GIRL and THANK YOU!!!